BiggerPockets

What Exactly Is Fear?

A close friend of mine helped me recently as I struggled with some fear involved with my business. He too is a real estate investor and he wrote the following to me. I thought it would be good to share with fellow investors.

He wrote... As defined by Wikipedia fear is a painful emotion or passion excited by the expectation of evil, or the apprehension of impending danger; apprehension; anxiety; alarm; dread.

In terms of what we want to focus on I would say that fear is anything that we know we should be doing but we avoid doing it. Let me repeat that, fear is anything that we know we should be doing but we avoid doing it.

What's interesting is the word fear has such a negative connotation doesn't it? Just think about the definition I gave you from Wikipedia. The odd thing is that fear is really in us as humans to protect us. But we have conditioned ourselves to fear things we shouldn't. Let me give you an example:

According to The Book of Lists, the fear of public speaking ranks number one in the minds of the majority of people. Far above the fear of death and disease, comes the fear of standing in front of a crowd. Is speaking in public dangerous? How about talking to a seller? But I bet many people are afraid to go to a seller's house and talk to them about buying their house.

We have programmed our brains to have all these negative images and we replay them over and over again in our heads. That creates the fear. Once we can identify what causes the fear then we can fix it. We act in accordance not with the truth, but the truth as we perceive it to be. Have you ever heard the expression that perception is reality? It's so true! The crazy thing is we control our own perception. That is extremely powerful! Just think about it for a second. There are so many things in our world that we believe as truth that may not actually be true. We just believe them to be true because we have heard it, or been taught it our whole lives. Let me give you an example.

You may have heard this story before but it serves as a powerful illustration for what we are talking about. Prior to 1954, experts believed that running a mile in less than four minutes was beyond human capability. People assumed it was an insurmountable human limitation; basically it was not possible. Some believed that even if you could, your heart would explode. But in 1954, Roger Bannister broke the four-minute-impossible-barrier and finished it in 3:59.4. That was truly an amazing accomplishment because everyone had believed that it was not possible including most of the fastest runners in the world. As a side note the most recent world record for a mile is 3:43!

That was truly an amazing accomplishment because everyone had believed that it was not possible including most of the fastest runners in the world. Rogers running under a 4 minute mile may not even be the most remarkable part of the story though. See back in the early 1950's one of the greatest runners around was a man named John Landy. John's fastest time prior to Roger's record was 4 minutes and 1.5 seconds. Within 56 days after Roger Bannister's breakthrough, John Landy ran the mile in 3 minutes and 57.9 seconds in Finland. Within 3 years, 16 other runners had cracked the 4 minute barrier as well.

So what happened in this story? Did suddenly people just get faster? Or was this a case of a barrier or what we like to refer to as a limiting belief? Does this show you that even great athletes place barriers in their own minds? See our beliefs can limit what we can achieve, but they can also be expanded to help us see and achieve more. Success and failure begin and end with what the mind believes is possible. Know and understand there are NO limits to your potential. You have been given the greatest gift; the gift that there are no limits to your success!

It's very important to understand this point: We are conditioned to not attempt what we know to be impossible. Remember how people for thousands of years thought they would fall off the earth because it was flat? Then Christopher Columbus came along.

So how do we overcome it?

The key is you need to change your beliefs. Believe that anything is possible. When fear comes up in any situation don't focus on the fear; focus on the outcome you want. Reflect upon a great moment or success that you had. Remember that feeling? It felt good didn't it? Visualize it over and over again. You should practice this daily. Now some people might think this visualization stuff is silly. I would submit to you that you already do it now. See when fear is going through your mind you are visualizing a negative outcome. All you need to do is change that around to visualize a positive outcome instead. If you haven't seen or read "The Secret" it is a must. It covers the law of attraction and can be life altering when you put that knowledge to use in your everyday life.

So again when that fear creeps up with something, and it will, get clear on what it would look like if you didn't have the problem. Ask yourself if I was fearless what could I accomplish?

You may be asking yourself, "Does this mean that fear will go away"?

The answer is no. Fear will not go away. What I am saying is not to get rid of the fear. Remember fear is not good or bad; it's how you deal with the fear that's important. Successful people experience the fear but take action anyway; they don't let it paralyze them. They do what one of my mentors Marshall Sylver refers to as fail forward fast. They don't let fear be an excuse for success.

So in closing, take all aspects of your life and ask yourself what do I know I should be doing that I am avoiding? Label it as fear. Visualize the fear not being there. Visualize a positive accomplishment and focus on that great feeling you get. Then take action! I know you can do it!

I want to leave you with one of my favorite quotes from Henry Ford "Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right."

Comments

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  Sally McDonnell — 3 months ago

  Great post, Troy, and very timely for me personally. I've experienced A LOT of fear lately and I've let it hold me back from making any forward progress in our 6 month young wholesaling business... I kept saying, "I don't know how to do this, I don't know what to do next" which wasn't really the truth it's just that I was afraid of what I needed to do next (find a hard money lender). Thankfully my husband discovered 'The Secret' was available for free viewing as an Amazon Prime member. Since watching it last week I've been able to envision success and slowly but surely take those steps forward. Thanks for the reminder that we have what it takes and that sometimes it's just a matter of whether we believe it.

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  Sally McDonnell — 3 months ago

  Great post, Troy, and very timely for me personally. I've experienced A LOT of fear lately and I've let it hold me back from making any forward progress in our 6 month young wholesaling business... I kept saying, "I don't know how to do this, I don't know what to do next" which wasn't really the truth it's just that I was afraid of what I needed to do next (find a hard money lender). Thankfully my husband discovered 'The Secret' was available for free viewing as an Amazon Prime member. Since watching it last week I've been able to envision success and slowly but surely take those steps forward. Thanks for the reminder that we have what it takes and that sometimes it's just a matter of whether we believe it.

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  David Wedemire — 2 months ago

  Thanks for the post Troy. Good advice

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  David Wedemire — 2 months ago

  Thanks for the post Troy. Good advice

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  David Wedemire — 2 months ago

  Thanks for the post Troy. Good advice