Back from Vacation and Younger than Ever!
I just got back from a very relaxing vacation on Topsail Island in North Carolina. For those of you that have never been to Topsail Island, it is a very quiet island with beautiful beaches. It is just about as far from being a tourist destination as a beach can be. There is no amusement park; no tourist type shows; and very few tourist shops. It was very relaxing, and except for a trip to visit the Battleship North Carolina, we didn't do any tourist activities.
However, little did I realize just how relaxing it was. Today as I returned to work on my rental business, I discovered that not only did I get a lot of relaxation on vacation, I actually got younger - A LOT YOUNGER! In fact, one rental applicant that I talked to today apparently thought I was born YESTERDAY! Talk about finding the fountain of youth! LOL!
Here's what happened. A woman called today wanting to see one of my two bedroom apartments. As always, I asked her who would be living there. She said it would be her mother; her mother's boyfriend; and she would occassionally stay there too, when she was in town. I was thinking "B.S."!!! Obviously, if the mother was actually going to live there, then she would have come to look at the apartment. So, I asked the woman why her mother wasn't here to look at it and she replied that her mother had C.O.P.D., which is a lung disease that makes breathing difficult. It doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure out that a woman with severe breathing problems would not be able to climb a LONG flight of stairs to a second story apartment. Even though my vacation had been relaxing, I clearly wasn't born YESTERDAY!
Just for fun, I played along with the charade. I told the woman that I would need her to take an application to her mother and have her mother fill it out. And by the way, I would need a copy of all their driver's licenses in order to do their screening. We walked out to my truck and I gave the woman an application. She left.
Within 5 minutes, she was back. She asked if SHE could fill out the application and now claimed that she would be paying the rent for her mother. The crap was getting pretty deep and I didn't have my hip waders! Even so, I managed to keep a straight face. I told the woman that she could indeed fill out the application, but that I would still need the info for her mother and her mother's boyfriend, including their driver's licenses. With that she left again.
I quit work today about 1 pm and headed home. As I pulled into the driveway, the woman called me. She said that she had the application complete and wanted to meet me to give me the application. I asked her if she had copies of the driver's licenses for her mother and her mother's driver's licenses. She said that her mother and the boyfriend wouldn't be living there now - they had changed their mind! At this point even hip waders couldn't stay above the b.s. and I ended the game. I told the woman that I would not rent to her, her mother, or her mother's boyfriend and then I said goodbye!
As Paul Harvey used to say - 'and now the rest of the story'. When the woman came to look at the apartment, she brought 2 men with her. She looked iffy. Her boyfriend had tattooes all over his body and I judged him to be a druggie. The other man looked even worse - like a FREAK! From experience, I immediately knew that these were the scumbags that wanted to rent the apartment, probably with the mother and the mother's boyfriend. The woman claimed to have all the money with her to rent the apartment on the spot. That was additional confirmation that I did NOT want to rent to them. My theory is that these scumbags were being setout after being evicted. I'd bet good money that their current apartment is in the mother's name and if I had screened her, she would have an eviction on her record. I would also bet that the boyfriend had an extensive criminal record. Therefore, the only one left with a relatively clean record was the woman who came to look at the apartment. NO THANKS! I don't need any scumbags renting my apartment!
However, little did I realize just how relaxing it was. Today as I returned to work on my rental business, I discovered that not only did I get a lot of relaxation on vacation, I actually got younger - A LOT YOUNGER! In fact, one rental applicant that I talked to today apparently thought I was born YESTERDAY! Talk about finding the fountain of youth! LOL!
Here's what happened. A woman called today wanting to see one of my two bedroom apartments. As always, I asked her who would be living there. She said it would be her mother; her mother's boyfriend; and she would occassionally stay there too, when she was in town. I was thinking "B.S."!!! Obviously, if the mother was actually going to live there, then she would have come to look at the apartment. So, I asked the woman why her mother wasn't here to look at it and she replied that her mother had C.O.P.D., which is a lung disease that makes breathing difficult. It doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure out that a woman with severe breathing problems would not be able to climb a LONG flight of stairs to a second story apartment. Even though my vacation had been relaxing, I clearly wasn't born YESTERDAY!
Just for fun, I played along with the charade. I told the woman that I would need her to take an application to her mother and have her mother fill it out. And by the way, I would need a copy of all their driver's licenses in order to do their screening. We walked out to my truck and I gave the woman an application. She left.
Within 5 minutes, she was back. She asked if SHE could fill out the application and now claimed that she would be paying the rent for her mother. The crap was getting pretty deep and I didn't have my hip waders! Even so, I managed to keep a straight face. I told the woman that she could indeed fill out the application, but that I would still need the info for her mother and her mother's boyfriend, including their driver's licenses. With that she left again.
I quit work today about 1 pm and headed home. As I pulled into the driveway, the woman called me. She said that she had the application complete and wanted to meet me to give me the application. I asked her if she had copies of the driver's licenses for her mother and her mother's driver's licenses. She said that her mother and the boyfriend wouldn't be living there now - they had changed their mind! At this point even hip waders couldn't stay above the b.s. and I ended the game. I told the woman that I would not rent to her, her mother, or her mother's boyfriend and then I said goodbye!
As Paul Harvey used to say - 'and now the rest of the story'. When the woman came to look at the apartment, she brought 2 men with her. She looked iffy. Her boyfriend had tattooes all over his body and I judged him to be a druggie. The other man looked even worse - like a FREAK! From experience, I immediately knew that these were the scumbags that wanted to rent the apartment, probably with the mother and the mother's boyfriend. The woman claimed to have all the money with her to rent the apartment on the spot. That was additional confirmation that I did NOT want to rent to them. My theory is that these scumbags were being setout after being evicted. I'd bet good money that their current apartment is in the mother's name and if I had screened her, she would have an eviction on her record. I would also bet that the boyfriend had an extensive criminal record. Therefore, the only one left with a relatively clean record was the woman who came to look at the apartment. NO THANKS! I don't need any scumbags renting my apartment!
Comments (3)
No blog entries lately! I'm having withdrawals!
Tray NA, over 14 years ago
Hey Mike - Have you given up on the blog? I'm missing my daily dose of MikeOH drama!
Joshua Dorkin, over 14 years ago
Mike - You had me in stitches after the first two paragraphs. I'm glad you had an awesome vacation! Welcome back to BP and to the grimy world of MikeOH! BTW - As always, your potential tenants reminds me of an old sketch from "In Living Color" - Homey don't play that!
Joshua Dorkin, over 14 years ago