Who Are You And What Do You Want?

Obviously, I participate in social media. Facebook, Linked In and, of course, Bigger Pockets. There are a lot of benefits. One is exposed to issues and opinions they might not have considered on social media sites. One has the opportunity to meet people they may not have easily met and if this leads to an actual meeting or phone call both parties have the possibility of knowing the other person’s areas of expertise, past achievements, interests, maybe even their goals. Building a network of people who complement your abilities and interests can be extremely valuable. One can easily profit from others' experiences or get a new relationship off to a great start by offering to help with a problem that a new friend is coping with. There are many other benefits, we each participate for different reasons but that is not the point of this post.

There are some who seem to view social media sites like video games. The more connections one can make, the higher their score. The more colleagues you can claim, the more important you will seem. Maybe that is true for some but is there really value in accumulating hundreds or thousands of superficial connections to people you don’t know and have little likelihood of ever knowing? Is there value in amassing a large list of connections who would not recognize your name and could not state how they know you even though they have endorsed your skills (in the hope that you will return the favor?) If you are a marketer or a spammer I can see the appeal. The more people who spread your message or talk about your products, whether positively or negatively, the better. There is no bad publicity. One never knows where the next sale will come from. Is this how you wish to appear?

On many sites your connecting habits are quite evident. There will be an announcement on your new colleague’s dashboard or home page every time you make a new connection. If you do this frequently your name will become well known to everyone on your list. Did you ever think that you may actually be annoying your new colleagues? If all you do is make new connections and do not add any meaningful content you may just be cluttering up the feeds of your new friends. You may be making it more difficult for your connections to sort through the content they wish to find. This is not the best method if you are looking to connect meaningfully, to add a colleague who you may actually take an interest in and may in turn take an actual interest in you, one who may turn into a business resource or partner.

Often those who are serial connectors give strong clues that they are interested mainly in running up their tally of colleagues and have little else to offer. Their requests to connect are usually just the standard phrase on whatever site they are on—“I’d like to connect with you.” They don’t mention why they chose you, who they are or what they are responding to. They don’t mention that they think they may be able to help you out or hope that you will be able to help them. They don’t have time to write a note with their request. They don’t make the effort to put any meaningful information on their profiles. They often don’t even bother to upload a picture of themselves (this is supposed to be social media is it not?) They really don’t care—their primary goal is to increase their score.

I am happy to increase my network but if your goal is simply to add me to your list don’t bother. Please do me a favor? If you can’t take the time to tell me who you are, why you are contacting me, what you are responding to, how I might help you or what you want, just skip me. I don’t need a treatise, just a line or two will suffice but give me something. If you are simply a serial connector it will not be long before I delete you in order to clean up my dashboard. Just pass me by.