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Posted over 9 years ago

How I chose to become a Real Estate Investor!

"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time."-Thomas Edison

       My childhood was not a pleasant experience. I was born to parents who married too young and had to get divorced when I was just 4 years old. That was a sad entry into this world for me but with my Mom at my side I felt that I would be okay. Tragedy struck at much to early of an age for me as my father decided to take his own life when I was at the age of 7.  I sometimes get jealous of stories I hear on the BP podcasts when guys will talk about how their parents were Realtors or construction guys, and I wonder if I really do not belong. Ever since my father leaving us, and his eventual suicide I was pushed off to many babysitters while my mother got some much needed alone time. This landed me into the worst babysitter that a child could have, and the unthinkable happened.  I say this not for anyone to feel sorry for me, but for so many that I have met in my life both male and female-You are NOT alone! I could never bring myself to talking about it until just 2 years ago from the date of this post. It is important for others to know that bad things just happen and I let this consume me later in life, but I am learning to let it go. 

        My mother was the kindest, hard working parent a kid could ask for. Since my father had abandoned us I felt that I needed to just stay strong for her as she did in supporting the two of us. My Mom remarried when I was 12 to a guy who knew a decent amount about being a handyman, and I was pushed into work that most teenagers should never be doing. Teen's should be enjoying school outings on Saturday's, skiing on the local lakes in the summer. I was not that fortunate. 

        My parents bought a house in the early 90's that dated at least to the 1860s and that was as far as the records would show. Needless to say there was so much work to be done, and I woke up every Saturday morning to a full page list of "chores" to do. Front and back. Now, do not get me wrong-chores are great for most kids. All too often children are overweight and unambitious. My step-father saw to it that I would never be lazy and made a point to push me all hours of the day and evening. This "tough love" was shown to make up for the fact that I did not have a father figure in my life for so many years. This only pushed me away from wanting to learn and really took the fun out of getting to operate power tools (which I really love to this day!). 

        I went on a mission to find a job outside of my house just to have a break and to be able to actually earn some money for my efforts. I started work in a grocery store and on a break I spoke to a neighbor who's mother worked for the hardware store across the street. I put two and two together and ran into the hardware store with great boldness and shear excitement! "Could I please speak with the owner", I respectfully asked. Sure enough I was led into an old building with wooden steps that made a creaking sound with each step. "Hello sir,  my name is Stephen and I know how to do electrical, plumbing, and woodworking," I declared with courage. The owner took me around the store and started asking me what certain tools were, and what were they used for. For a 14 year old punk kid like myself, I had never felt so proud of myself to be able to describe, without hesitation, what each tool's name and purpose was. The owner put me to work right away and I started solving plumbing, and electrical problems for guys three times my age. I made a point not to be boastful or arrogant about it and tried to be courteous to my customers. In the back of my mind it was just the psychological boost I needed. 

         From feeling like I was never good enough because other friends I knew still had their Dads. I felt like I finally belonged to something greater than myself. The owner of the hardware store allowed me to continue my passion of playing drums for the marching, pep band, not to mention, my endeavors in Cross County and Track. Needless to say I tried to submerse myself in everything I could in order to escape the work camp that my parents had for me at home. I spent 6 months and longer at a time being "grounded" because I would forget to take out the trash or something stupid. While responsibilities are important, I felt as though they were holding me to a different standard not taking into account that I worked a job, was a drummer for the high school marching band since 7th Grade, and I became ranked in the top 20 in Indiana for the 1 mile run in track. 

         I was never treated like a normal kid and everything I during my teen years seem to set my stepdad off. My parents had another child and my little sister brings so much joy to my life even to this day. My sister was held to a much different standard than what I could ever have dreamed of, and I know that she deserves the best in life. After my Freshman year I was supposed to go to Driver's Training like other kids in my class, but my "not so wonderful" stepdad decided that I was not responsible enough. I guess doing ok in school working a job, being in sports, and playing in the school band was not being responsible enough for him. I started to date as most teens do in high school and wouldn't you know it, I fell in love with a girl one grade older than me. We had met in Marching Band where she was in the flag corp and we spent so much time together that we started to hit it off. This was the beginning of my sophomore year. My parents got wind of who I was dating and they did not approve of this girl or her family. She was not doing drugs or anything bad, but her parents were not the best role models as I can remember. My dear old step dad made me break things off with this girl and I refused at first. They monitored my phone calls and ransacked my bedroom to find notes from her. They knew I had no intention of breaking things off. They made it so tough for me to spend time with her that they got to the point where they would not let me leave the house. Enough was enough and as long as I was living in their house I would have to break off my relationship. It was a regular school day and I was devastated. I had to work up the courage to tell the girl whom I really liked that I could not be with her, and that my parents were making a living hell for me at home. She became even more devastated and began to weep. What was I supposed to do? I was trapped behind a Hitler type (my step dad) and a wonderful friend. The next day I got a call from a friend who was crying on the phone. They told me my girlfriend Klisty Hall was at a party where she was extremely depressed and was drinking heavily. Her friends later told me they did not know what had happened to her and only knew she just wanted to drink. They went on to tell me that she drove home from the party on a winter night, she hit a patch of ice on a curvy backroad and was violently killed. As if this was not enough bad news for me, but the funeral was to be a couple of days later and any student wishing to attend her funeral could do so with their parents permission. (You may guess what my parents said) They refused to let me go, they claimed that I barely knew her, and I did a great job of hiding our relationship so they really did not know how close we really were. I even tried to have one of my classmates forge a permission letter for me to go, but was quickly found out. 

         Things at home never got better and I had been given a chance to enter into the U.S. Army National Guard at the age of 17. I believed and now know that it was easier for me to go into the Army then to remain at home. So, with my mother signing a piece of paper making me a legal adult-I started a new life. I went straight into basic training the summer between my junior and senior year of high school. Then, I came back home and graduated high school. I was given a unique opportunity to go overseas to Sinai, Egypt. They needed combat medics (which was my job title) and away I went. Wow, what an adventure that was! I only had time to see the pyramids from the airplane but I did spend some time on Mt. Sinai (where Moses received the Ten Commandment) and Haifa, Israel. I highly recommend the gyros, and hummus if you find yourself there someday! I was the medical authority on the island I was stationed on just off the coast of the Sinai peninsula called Tiran Island. For a guy who was only 19 years old at this point, I was living the life! 

                 Falling Short

        My adult life was not filled with great success. I turned away from family and friends and took the path most should never dare. While my story seems outlined in detail here, I feel that a couple of things should be left out. My story takes a drastic turn here, where I rebelled against everything and everyone I could. I started hanging out with the wrong crowd and getting involved in the wrong activities. In 2003, after having to quit more jobs that most people have in their lifetime I had to go to a doctor. I was experiencing pain in my lower back that would literally take the breath out of me. After getting an MRI the doctor walked in the room and said, "son, you have the back of a 75 year old man." "I do not even know how you were able to walk into my office as well as you did." My eventual diagnosis was a ruptured disc, degenerative disc disease and lumbar spondylosis. He did what he felt he could to give me a shot at a normal life and sent me on my way. Needless to say, all he could do was give me a bandaid (medicine) and have me go through physical therapy. The therapy he told me was a long shot and we would not know if it would work unless we tried. Wow, talk about pain! I left the physical therapy office literally in tears. They say distance runners have the highest tolerance for pain, and I was crying like a little baby. Not good! I was finally able to file for Social Security Disability and got it on the first try. Some say that they have tried 4 and 5 times to get on Disability and are denied. I am not proud of being disabled but I am proud that I took the necessary steps to help improve my life, instead of wallowing in my self pity.

        Before getting applying for disability I worked for the only person I could find who would let me work for him and when he actually had work (which was not that often) I could work beside him flipping houses. His name was Jesus A. and he is a larger-than-life type of person who immigrated from Mexico. He was not the role model that most would ever allow their children to be around but he taught me some very important things about life, and flipping houses. You see, he came to this country like most of our ancestors did to find a better way of life. He did not speak any English and had to learn as he went along. To see him today, you would never know that he never had an American High School education. I worked alongside him taking houses that we actually had to remove the plywood from the windows and bring them back to at least working condition. I guess it is called "Pre-habbing." He would look for the boarded up houses and literally ask around the neighborhood in order to find out who the owner was. He worked with some pretty shady characters who were "Hard-Money Lenders" and he worked his magic. I learned that anyone with the right drive and initiative could make money in Real Estate. We sometimes take what has been given to us for granted and we do not ever get out, take a chance, and just make things happen. Up until this year, that was me. The guy who felt there was no chance of success in finding a job that I could physically work. 

                          A Lasting Change!

        I made a decisive and lasting change in my life to make a difference. I decided that I deserved to give myself a chance, and I needed to break away from the things and people that were bringing me down. I moved a half of a state away to a new city, where I only knew my mom and stepdad. They took me in for a couple of months until I get myself put back together again. I started taking classes at a local college and fell in love with the woman of my dreams. I made the Dean's list last semester and I could never believe what I have been capable of doing up to this point. My wife and I both loved the idea of Real Estate and the security that comes with being successful in this field. We, made a choice to take a really big chance and hope for a lasting change in both of our lives. We became an official business in January of this year (2014) and we started with studying. I made the choice to take Real Estate Broker course and I passed! Then, I had to take the state test and bam! I was hit with not passing the general portion! You see, in Indiana they just passed a new law that changed the licensing laws. The course I took was the "new and updated version" but guess what? The State License Exam was over the old system! Talk about wanting a refund! So I made a decision at that very moment. You know what, things are "life on life's terms" not on Stephen's terms. So I studied my little you know what off and the 2nd time-failed the general portion again. The state portion I passed on the very first try, but the general portion man they will try to trick you with some CRAZY ways to word some of the questions. Ugh! So frustrating! I climbed back up started getting really serious about learning all I could about Real Estate. I literally spent every waking minute of my days for about a month studying and testing myself before I scheduled my 3rd exam. My fall semester was about to start at my college so I was really feeling pressure to get this exam passed before I started school again. This time, after 3 tries, I did it! Whoooohoooo! I was so excited. I even had tears in my eyes after working so hard on something that I paid good money for the right information and was given the wrong information-I did it!

             What I Learned From All of This

        In conclusion, I have led a very unique life. I am faced with the real fact that I cannot work the same type of jobs "Men" are supposed to be working. When life hands you lemons you make lemonade. It is kinda corny, but it is true! We have all been handed what we think is a "raw deal" in life, but like Jesus A. the Prehab guy, it is what we do with the time that has been given to us that makes us who we really are. We all can make excuses for were are not successful in whatever it is that we are doing in life, but when I think about people like Stephen Hawking who is in a wheelchair yet he still finds a way that he can make a positive contribution to society. I have learned that we all have a story, and we all have had it rough in life. I have failed at so many things in life that like Thomas Edison, I now know what things not to do. I know that our failures are really successful ways not to do something. How many times have you felt as though you would never make it in life, and how many times have you felt that all was lost? I am living proof that no matter how many times I fail, I am NOT a failure because I will always continue to get back up just to show that I will not quit. It is only when we quit do we really fail at something. Just because you had a deal not work out, or you lost out on money tell me that you did not learn anything? Right, of course you learned something from that experience, and that something will just make you better at whatever you are doing in life! Real Estate Investors are a unique breed I am starting to learn, we do not think like the herd. We are resolute to the bitter end! When you find yourself at the end of your rope, when you feel hopeless and without a clue... That is when you reach deep inside of your soul and you will know just what to do. 



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