Unfortunately, its unlikely the market anywhere in the US will recover to the lofty peaks of 2003-2006 anytime in the next 20 years. If you purchased or refinanced during the boom years, you're going to have to wait a long time to get that equity back.
To top it off, its Detroit. Detroit is losing jobs like crazy, and its very unlikely those jobs will ever return. We see offers here almost every day for houses in Detroit for only a few grand. I assume yours is in a nicer area, but there is still an huge oversupply of houses in Detroit that's unlikely to be absorbed. I think you're better off selling now for whatever you can get. Most likely, its more than you will get anytime in the next five or 10 years.
The right thing to do is to figure out how to make up the difference. The lender might be willing to give you a loan for the shortage.
A short sale may be an alternative. If there are no assets for the lender to come after, you'll probably avoid a deficiency judgment. There are potentially tax consequences. Forgiven debt is treated as income by the IRS, and is taxable. There is a temporary exception for homeowners who have to sell their primary residence. Since you've bought another house, though, and turned this into a rental, that exception may no longer apply. There is also an exception if you can show the IRS you are insolvent. It would be worthwhile spending a little time with a knowledgeable CPA to be sure you understand the tax consequences.
A short sale will smack your credit hard. Is your current mortgage fixed rate? You say you have lots of debt. Credit card debt? If so, they will see the changes in your credit as a result of the short sale and will jack up your rates through the roof. Anyway you could dump every penny possible to the credit cards and get rid of them before you start the short sale?
Any way your husband could get a night job so he could care for the kids during the day and you at night? Or, could you get a second job?