BiggerPockets

My wife is not too keen in investing in real estate, she just wants me to stay in the army and depend on them untill I reach retirement. How can I convince her to agree with me about investing in real estate, also how can I get her to read any of the investing books that I have read in order to have a remote understanding as to waht I want to do?

My fiance......same way.

I discovered options, ran ads, routed all calls to my cell phone, and just did it without her knowing. (I think she knew, but she is the kind of person that if its not in her face, she will brush it off)

Im not saying lie, but I am saying shhhhhhh, in the beginning.

This is all being said with the assumption you have a plan, and couldnt help but be successful, once you start. With that said, she spends all the money I make, and enjoys it, as far as I know. All the money she thought was " not a good idea" , when I mentioned real estate.

The t-shirt Im wearing in my picture? Yea, its 7 years old....... :D

That first deal is always the hardest-- wives worry about losing money that isn't there in the first place (which is usually when you *need* to be investing... :roll: )

In our case, I was the one pushing to start and DH was holding back-- maybe because of that buying-and-reselling old sewing machines on ebay business I started back in '00 (that made absolutely nothing.) Or maybe it was the background check company I started in our home office that showed a grand total of about $32.50 in profit the year we closed it down. He thought I was being overly enthusiastic yet again and viewing the projected profits through rose-colored glasses.

I just kept talking, kept running the numbers for him and showed him every scenerio I could think of-- best case, worst case, in-between case. Eventually, as he became aclimated to the idea, the enthusiasm kicked in but it took awhile.

I'd try to get the go ahead for *just one* and make sure its a goodie. There's nothing like success to bring a spouse on board pronto :train:

Nothing to add, but I thought this blogger's comments were interesting:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/12/my-wife-wont-let-me-start-my-own-business/

I know it's from 2005, but still relevant. Apparently, it's a common gripe.

On our first deal years ago, we got lucky and made money. Our first major rehab (just last year), we lost a crapload of money. Fortunately, the 6 deals after the first were all money generators. You live, you learn. You make mistakes, but you keep going. That's the secret to success.

You know, she is either a business partner or not. It's a business. If she doesn't agree with it, thats fine, but there is no reason why your wife has any say in your business activites if she is not part of the business.

Cut her out and stop discussing it around the house.

Again, there is business and there is your personal income. They are 2 different things. If she's not on board then I guess she not part of the business.

Hide your cash flow and buy her nice gifts!

as to the original question...

You might need a new wife... I know its harsh... But if your wife isnt on board you will never be..

The fear of the unknown is a great motivator for people to never try...

I would ask her if it was okay to make the two of you a better lifestyle.... Then ask if she trusts your decission making ability. If yes to both you dont have a problem...

And use embedded commands when speaking to her...

something like..." You can see yourself with more money in the bank cant you?"

Or " Our finacial situation isnt enough is it?"

Learn how to use them and life gets much more rewarding

Michael Quarles

I got the response from my wife, " You better not!!!"

But I did anyway. I wasn't needing her permission, I was talking with her to see if she was " with me" in the deal. Apparently she didn't want to be involved so she wasn't.

I was off one day and when she came home from work she asked how my day was. I said fine. (the usual answer)

Later that evening I said, " Oh, by the way, I bought that property today that I was telling you about." She hit the roof and let me know how mad she was at me for buying it anyway after she told me she didn't want to spend the money on it.

Today, she loves the property and when it comes up in conversation she refers to it as " ours" . I call it " the property" . Only my name is on the deed...

I say do your homework and if you see a deal you cannot let slide by then buy it and do what you planned on doing. What's the worst she can do? Get mad? :D

Man, I have to once again bring up how lucky I am. My wife is my business partner and my real estate agent and has been working together with me full time since January 2007. We have a great relationship, great communication, and are NORMALLY on the same page. Listening to you guys talk about " whats the worst she can do? get mad?" And Michael with " you may need to get a new wife" and " get a good attorney" . Damn... :shock:

Wow lots of Information from divorse to ?. I am lucky my husband and I are both enthustiac investors. We have a friend who's wife wasn't really sure about what he was doing. Getting her involved in some area of investment changed that to excitment and understanding. We got her out shopping for deals. Some people are good at the paperwork, number crunching or research. Maybe taping into your wifes abilities and making her a part of the big picture for your future wealth will bring her around.

Did you show it all to her in writing? This is what we buy, this is how much it costs, this is how we pay for it, this is how we sell it, and this is how much money we make?

Or are you one of the guys who clog up the forums, coming here and saying: I just quit my job. I don't have any money. I have terrible credit. I don't know how to do real estate. So how do I get this million dollar deal under wraps, because I am really ready to be rich and I plan to have 5 million by the end of the year.

The way you have presented it to your wife is going to have an effect on the way she feels about it.