No offense, but I don't believe that wholesalers or doing deals remotely are the problem. I conduct the bulk of my business remotely, and I periodically work with wholesalers to co-wholesale some of my deals.
The problem is twofold: 1) your end-buyer (who appears to have been a tire-kicker) might have made promises that he/she could or did not keep, and 2) you mentally already cashed the check before you had it in hand.
I live in DC. I've learned through the years that people (especially some politicians--but I won't go there) will lie to you whether you're dealing with them face-to-face, via e-mail, or via phone. Some do it intentionally, and others have extenuating circumstances.
Additionally, sometimes we'll hear/read one thing, and process something else. In that case, the person didn't lie; rather, we simply misunderstood him/her.
Sure, I've had potential buyers flake out on me in the past too, but I didn't let those experiences sour me on the process. I learned to screen them better. I also learned to continue to market a deal until it closes, or until my buyer is willing to let his/her deposit go hard.
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