In an effort to find some humor looking back on the world of real estate this year, I thought a Top 10 list would be appropriate. Here’s to all the real estate agents liars out there:
Top 10 Real Estate Lies of 2006
- This is not a real estate bubble! These prices will only continue to rise.
- Don’t worry, you can afford this house!
- Rochester, NY and Flint, MI are the hottest real estate markets of ’06. You can’t go wrong!
- This adjustable mortgage won’t harm you if interest rates go up!
- You’ll be able to sell this house within a week!
- I’m not just trying to get a commission selling your house . . . I really care!
- Hurry! This One won’t last!
- You’re crazy! You’ll never lose your home to eminent domain!
- Trust me.
- You can’t lose money on this one!
NOTE: Before you ostracize me, realize that this is not a rip on all real estate agents, but on the tiny percentage who make all the rest look bad. Unfortunately, agents aren’t highly regarded, most likely because of these guys. I was a licensed real estate agent in California and saw the damage these bad agents did to the rest of the community.
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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
I don’t find this funny at all.
Actually I was surprised that you only came up with 10.
11. It can only go up in value.
12. Buy now before the price of these units goes up. (RTFLOL)
13. This one really cracks me up, October 2006 “we sold 25% of the units during our grand opening”. Yah right.
14. This is a great location, they will never develop that land you will always have a great view of the river.
15. Noise? this neighborhood is quiet. The trains go by slow and there isn’t any noise from the 6 lane freeway, except during rush hour.
I don’t see this as funny either. But I have heard each one of these statements made by real estate professionals.
Hey Teresa and Caron – No – Its not funny, it is actually scary and sad. That’s kind of the point. It is my commentary on scandalous real estate agents saying anything just to make a sale.
That list could go on and on…
16. The listing agent said they have two offers on the table, so we better make our offer good!
17. I’m sure the neighbor’s dogs are barking because they don’t know you.
18. Mr. Seller, If we don’t get an acceptable offer in X days, I’ll step in and buy it!
19. My listings sell for 2.2% more than the average agent!
20. Take the inspection report with a grain of salt. Remember, it’s the inspector’s job to make the house look like it’s falling apart.
21. I know the closets are small. You can always turn a secondary bedroom into a huge walk-in closet!
22. Just think of all the money you’ll save on your income taxes!
23. I’m sure the neighbors are having a party… that’s why all those cars are parked in the yard.
24. We just had a price increase – but I’ll see if the builder will let you in at last week’s price.
25. We’ll take care of that after closing.
And I could think of more, given the time….
Nice additions Doug. Does anyone else have more???
26. Leak? That’s not a leak, the paint’s darker in that spot….and still wet….and spreading.
27. I can’t believe you’re going to waste $300.00 on an inspection.
28. Of course this building allows pets.
29. No. These people have NEVER heard the tenants upstairs.
30. ALL the women in this neighbourhood stand on the street corner in red pumps and fishnet stockings, silly.
31. Our listings sell faster on average than those of our compeditors.
32. You can’t use one of those flat fee real estate agents, no one will show your home if you do.
33. If the comission is a problem we can just price your home 7% higher.
zillow !!
The unfortunate and sad thing is about all these items is that they really were said by at least one agent somewhere. I’ve heard some of these said and I recoil inside when I hear them.
Interesting list and additions in the comments. I bet it will continue to grow!
It seems like most of the agents around these parts don’t even try to act responsible. A little while ago, I was doing a pretty extensive search for new multi-family investment property. I emailed 10+ agents requesting more information on the various properties. I’ve called dozens more. I have never received a response to any of the emails and less than half the agents ever call me back.
34. What smell?
35. It’s just an old pipe in the ground, don’t worry about it.
36. The septic system was fully rebuilt in 2004
37. It’s always a great time to buy or sell a house.
I love #4. As a lender, one of my largest competitors on the internet has repeatedly said that a one year ARM is the way to go right now. What a lying greedy idiot! He just wants to keep refi’ing clients! Many Realtors and Lenders just look out for themselves but they are getting there “shakeout” right now. All the competition is dying off! Lenders are going out of business and lots of Realtors are too! In the long run it’s really good for consumers because the only ones left will be the strong.
-Jason in Vegas
I is true there are a lot of real estate agents that are saying anything to anyone just to make a deal but hellooooooooo consumers should use the power of questions ?????
Anyone that has bad intentions will lie, real estate agent or not. Don’t we have the duty to protect ourselfs and not realy belive anything that strangers are saying especialy when $$$$ is involved.Whomever is still falling for that kind of cheap treaks deserves it: they are stupid. Internet has many if not all the answers just search for it,
I work with Real Estate Agents and other businesses from an internet perspective, I recently wrote an article on Agents using scripts and cliches. Scripts and Cliches I believe first of all that not “ALL” real estate agents are liars. That would be like saying “ALL” CEO’s are unethical, or “ALL” politicians accept bribes, or “ALL” athletes use performance enhancing drugs. However, what is true is that “ALL” real estate agents are in the business of providing a service (good or bad) that induces a sale. I do believe that “many” agents become so well scripted that they say “lines” that sound like “pick up lines” at your local pub or tavern. Additionally, I have seen and worked with “some” agents that truly have the best interest of the client at heart. These are the ones that tell their clients not to buy, not to sell, to wait, etc. While I am not in the business of defending real estate agents, I do know this about “ALL” businesses. The “tallest nail always gets hit first”, unfortunately it’s usually those people who do business badly, with “lines” that are thrown out there like grass seed. So I think what your article really says is, “be careful in what ever business you are doing business with, and choose your business partner wisely”.
Dr. Jay – Internet Doctor
Its early march and my contract runs up the first week of April. I finally talk to the agent after not a word for 3 months. Then out of the blue, we have a buyer, blah, blah blah. the only thing is they are selling their house and it is being sold in April and then we can get yours done. So, we probably need to redo the contract. YEAH RIGHT, cause Im sure my house will sell at the end of April and I wont have to deal with you for another 12 months. To their credit, its how they pay their bills and provide for their family. Just remember after they screw you, you are the one paying your bills and providing for your family.
This is from my recent experience!
38. “The land goes back 300 feet on all 4 lots!”
so I double checked with the county and it was only 100-150 feet deep running diagonally.
39. ” See that house back there? its sitting on the land you’re wanting to buy.”
Checked it out, no building on land recorded with county. Someone elses home on separate acreage.
40. “There’s brand new sewer, water and electric lines installed on the property.”
When I went to meet the agent, all they had was a ditch ready for a culvert to be put in.
41. “You can build 4 homes on these lots, 1 per lot”
When I checked, the acerage was way too small to qualify for building permits.
42. “The lots have Lake Access for boating”.
not on the other side of the road from the lake.
43. “You don’t need a permit to cut down these trees.”
WRONG, 100% of the trees were protected by the county, punishable by $500 per tree cut down.
44. “I’ll need $500 cash before getting paperwork started.”
The agent didn’t even hand me a business card, or bring information on the land he was selling.
45. “The owners were asking for a higher down payment.”
not true, the day after I shook the agents hand on a payment plan meaning he accepted it, he said he had to submit a first right of refusal to the neighbors. This is discrimination, in that they continued to search for higher bidders after you come to terms with them for paying their advertised asking price.
In my case, I’m disabled, so they basically told me they didn’t want me there because I was disabled.
46. “The land has a clean title”
Bull Crap. 1 out of the 4 lots had back taxes due, there was a lien holder on the entire property, and the owners of the lots the agent was trying to sell differed and did not match up with the tax assessors database records.
47. “The owners said go ahead and sell to you”.
False, the agent never told the owners about my bid, and went after neighbors who had a right of way before I did while failing to disclose information to me there was a first right of refusal on the land title.
Don’t be fooled, they will lie even when you ask them to be honest in the beginning.
This agent landed himself a lawsuit for what he did.