{"id":182794,"date":"2025-05-14T15:53:52","date_gmt":"2025-05-14T21:53:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.biggerpockets.com\/blog\/?p=182794"},"modified":"2025-05-14T15:53:59","modified_gmt":"2025-05-14T21:53:59","slug":"the-importance-of-communication-in-real-estate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.biggerpockets.com\/blog\/the-importance-of-communication-in-real-estate","title":{"rendered":"Why Communication is So Important in Real Estate\u2014Especially When Things Go Sideways"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What is the most likely reason a doctor is sued for malpractice (other than screwing up a procedure, of course)? <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

One might think it had something to do with not being thorough enough, so <\/span>a good number of<\/span> doctors have gotten in the habit of ordering extra tests and procedures and the like (known as defensive medicine). The bias toward \u201cdoing something\u201d isn\u2019t a good thing for our society overall, especially given how out-of-control healthcare costs are, but it does make sense for practitioners to do so as a defensive mechanism in our litigious society.<\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Studies have shown, however, that such preemptive actions <\/span>have no effect<\/span><\/a> on<\/span> whether doctors <\/span>are sued<\/span> for malpractice. The main reason patients sue doctors (aside from a procedure leaving someone dead or injured) is that the doctor hadn\u2019t talked to the patient enough, communicated about the situation effectively, and built rapport. As Aaron Carroll <\/span>notes<\/span><\/a>,<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTo understand why patients file claims, we <\/span>have to<\/span> talk to them. Many researchers have. A <\/span>study in 1992<\/span><\/a> found that about a quarter of mothers who had sued physicians because of deaths or permanent injuries in their newborn infants ‘needed money.\u2019 But there were answers given more frequently that had nothing to do with remuneration. A third of respondents said that their doctor would not talk openly to them, half said their doctor had tried to mislead them, and 70% said <\/span>that <\/span>they<\/span> were not warned<\/span> about long-term neurodevelopmental problems in their children.\u201d<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It, therefore,<\/span> shouldn\u2019t be surprising that <\/span>another study<\/span><\/a> for <\/span>The New England Journal of Medicine<\/span><\/em> found that 1%  of physicians accounted for <\/span>a <\/span>full<\/span> 32% of paid claims.<\/span> An analysis of four studies<\/span><\/a> for PubMed found that for malpractice claims, \u201cOverwhelmingly, the dominant theme in these studies’ findings was a breakdown in the patient-physician relationship, most often manifested as unsatisfactory patient-physician communication.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

(In other words, if Doctor House were<\/span> a <\/span>real <\/span>person<\/span>, he would have been sued <\/span>just about<\/span> all the time.)<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The various aspects of real estate don\u2019t generally involve life and death, but the same principle applies. <\/span>Communication can make problems go away, and a lack of it can make <\/span>problems<\/span> get much,<\/span> much worse.<\/span> Even what should be innocuous or irrelevant can become an enormous issue if <\/span>left<\/span> ignored.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Importance of Communication, No Matter What<\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In <\/span>pretty much<\/span> every walk of life, communication is essential.<\/span> And it\u2019s not just the part where you make sure to tell someone something\u2014it\u2019s also the part where you listen empathetically. Surveys have repeatedly shown<\/span> that employees are more likely to leave jobs<\/span><\/a> when they don\u2019t feel listened to by management. They\u2019re also less likely to be productive, even if they don\u2019t <\/span>leave<\/span>, which we\u2019re seeing <\/span>more and more of<\/span> these days with the phenomenon of \u201c<\/span>quiet quitting<\/span><\/a>.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The same goes for any relationship, particularly for marriages. Indeed, a lack of or bad communication is one of the biggest causes of marital breakdown. The clinical psychologist John Gottman <\/span>notes that silence is <\/span>absolutely<\/span> deadly for relationships<\/span><\/a>. The key is to communicate effectively, which includes NOT criticizing NOR being defensive (contempt and stonewalling are even worse). <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In other words, communicate problems kindly and <\/span>also<\/span> listen to those problems <\/span>when <\/span>communicated,<\/span> instead of just defending oneself.<\/span> Not doing so will wreak havoc in any marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In business, I have been amazed by how much someone can tolerate if you show them you <\/span>actually<\/span> care about that person and communicate the status of whatever is going on. On the other hand, it\u2019s <\/span>amazing<\/span> how fast minor issues deteriorate into full-blown blow-ups when something is left unaddressed.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being ignored is effectively a lesser version of being ostracized. And for our ancestors, being ostracized from the tribe and forced to go it alone meant almost certain death. Indeed, the word <\/span>ostracism<\/span><\/a> comes from a procedure in ancient Athens where <\/span>a citizen could be expelled<\/span> from Athens for 10 years. This punishment was considered quite severe, and many other societies have used ostracism <\/span>as a punishment<\/span> for a variety of (usually <\/span>serious<\/span>) crimes, <\/span>like Japan in the Edo period<\/span><\/a> or <\/span>Medieval Iceland<\/span><\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being ignored triggers a sense of rejection and feelings of being unworthy of attention. Further, it can bring on <\/span>a mild<\/span> paranoia. (\u201cHas something horrible happened, or does this person hate me\u2014why else would they not communicate?\u201d) None of this bodes well for an amicable resolution. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Neurologically, being ignored causes the anterior cingulate cortex in our brain\u2014the part most responsible for processing pain\u2014<\/span>to activate and the body to <\/span>be flooded<\/span> with stress hormones<\/span><\/a> like cortisol and norepinephrine. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Does this sound like what we want to have happen to someone we are either actively letting down or having a dispute with? Will that make resolving the dispute easier or harder?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Communication in Real Estate and Business<\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Regarding real estate, one of the most <\/span>important<\/span> areas for communication is in property management. <\/span>One survey of 372,000 tenants<\/span><\/a> found that almost one-third chose not to renew their lease because they had a problem with the property manager. The article says:<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTenants hoped their next landlord would better handle gripes ranging from package theft to slow responses to maintenance requests, the report said. Only lower rent was cited more often as a reason to leave.\u201d<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

All these issues involve communication. <\/span>For maintenance in particular, communication is critical, especially when <\/span>there is an issue that<\/span> has gone sideways or is taking longer than expected.<\/span> Remember, <\/span>maintenance is your No. 1 form of tenant retention<\/span><\/a>, so it\u2019s essential to get right. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

My brother Phillip used to oversee our property management, and when he had such an issue, he would tell the tenant that he would call them back on so-and-so date, even if there <\/span>was<\/span> nothing new to report. Just letting the tenant know management takes their issue seriously and hasn\u2019t forgotten about them goes a <\/span>very<\/span> long way. <\/span>In fact,<\/span> I would argue it\u2019s more important than resolving the <\/span>issue<\/span>\u2014or at least equally so. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Recently, we had a house catch fire due <\/span>in<\/span> no fault to the tenant (or us). We offered to let her out of her lease and return her deposit in full, but she preferred to move back in (she could live with her family for a short while). <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The repairs, however,<\/span> were delayed because of a dispute <\/span>we had<\/span> regarding the insurance.<\/span> Needless to say, it\u2019s not pleasant to <\/span>be left<\/span> in limbo like that. <\/span>But we never <\/span>so much as<\/span> had one argument about it, nor did <\/span>she<\/span> ever get upset, because we <\/span>kept in constant communication<\/span> with <\/span>her<\/span>.<\/span> If there was an update, we told her. <\/span>And if there hadn\u2019t been one in a while, we would let her know <\/span>every week or two<\/span> that we were still working on it.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should note that this<\/span> is even more critical with <\/span>short-term rentals<\/span><\/a>, as the success of your business is <\/span>all but<\/span> contingent on your rating on Airbnb or Vrbo.<\/span> Negative ratings can kill the desirability<\/span><\/a> (and visibility) of your STR. I once had to wait several hours trying to <\/span>get in touch with<\/span> an Airbnb host because the key she left us didn\u2019t work. Needless to say, we didn\u2019t give her <\/span>a particularly good<\/span> rating.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This importance of communication goes for just about every facet of a business. We had one <\/span>small<\/span> dispute over about 3% of a $5,000 bill that almost got us sent to collections. One part had not <\/span>been installed<\/span> (and we proved it wasn\u2019t), so we asked for an amended invoice and then waited for it, but it never came. Eventually, we heard from a collections agency that the bill was going to collections. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

We did nothing wrong, but we didn\u2019t do it right either. We should have stayed on top of this and continued to communicate, even as the party that owed money, in order to make sure it was resolved before being escalated.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019ve all had contractors <\/span>or buyers<\/span> or sellers ghost us, and we all know how frustrating that can be.<\/span> Indeed, we are almost certainly never going to use that contractor again. One such disappearing act can lose you a client forever.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

While communicating won\u2019t fix a bad performance by itself, it will help take the edge off and maybe <\/span>at least<\/span> give you a second chance. Of course, you need to be apologetic when communicating (if you did something wrong), empathetic, and not get defensive. Remember <\/span>social proof<\/span><\/a>: People tend to calm down if you are calm, and get angrier and talk louder if you are angry and talk loudly.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if you have performed terribly, <\/span>just<\/span> having the guts to call and apologize is something most people deeply respect. It\u2019s much easier to be angry at someone who becomes an abstraction\u2014\u201cthat person who ghosted me\u201d\u2014than the flesh-and-blood person telling you they are sorry things took longer, or they couldn\u2019t perform as expected, or it will cost more than they thought, or whatever.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And indeed, that\u2019s the reason most people avoid such communication: It’s embarrassing or even scary. It\u2019s <\/span>embarrassing<\/span> to tell a tenant that the heater that was supposed to <\/span>be fixed<\/span> three days ago won\u2019t <\/span>be fixed<\/span> until early next week. It\u2019s embarrassing to tell a seller the property you said you would make an offer on for  $200,000 is something you can only go up to $175,000 on because you made a mistake in your analysis. <\/span>It\u2019s embarrassing<\/span> to tell someone <\/span>that you<\/span> let them down or didn\u2019t live up to their expectations.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But people respect you much more when you own your mistake (or your company\u2019s). Studies have routinely shown people respect you more <\/span>when you apologize for wrongdoing or <\/span>mistakes<\/span><\/a>. And that respect goes a long way in resolving such conflicts and mending relationships. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What About When You Are <\/span>Being Ignored<\/span>?<\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

When it comes to contractors, agents, wholesalers, vendors, and the like, if they won\u2019t communicate, I <\/span>just<\/span> move on.<\/span> Communication is a critical skill<\/span>, and if<\/span> someone doesn\u2019t have it, they can\u2019t be an effective part of your team.<\/span> I would note that the same goes for employees.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

With tenants, clients, and sellers <\/span>who are<\/span> reluctant to communicate, you want to make it as easy as possible for them. <\/span>This<\/span> is particularly true with tenants who fall behind on their rent. Often, they will, understandably, cease communicating as they are embarrassed. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Offer straightforward solutions that they can <\/span>simply<\/span> say yes to (like <\/span>cash for keys<\/span><\/a>) and don\u2019t need to offer much elaboration on.<\/span> Also, <\/span>make sure<\/span> they can communicate in impersonal ways, such as email or text. It\u2019s much easier to type out a message and press send than <\/span>to <\/span>actually<\/span> talk to someone<\/span>. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And don\u2019t be too pushy. It\u2019s important to understand <\/span>they<\/span> are embarrassed and don\u2019t want to communicate, so empathy and a soft touch are key here. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But if nothing else, being ignored or poorly communicated with is a good reminder about how it feels and how much trouble it can cause to <\/span>be <\/span>ignored<\/span>. That should help you remember how much of a competitive advantage you can have by taking communication seriously, especially when it is difficult, embarrassing, or uncomfortable <\/span>to do so<\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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