{"id":43153,"date":"2013-05-14T08:30:27","date_gmt":"2013-05-14T14:30:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.biggerpockets.com\/renewsblog\/?p=43153"},"modified":"2024-06-11T04:59:24","modified_gmt":"2024-06-11T10:59:24","slug":"2013-05-14-hiring-a-mentor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.biggerpockets.com\/blog\/2013-05-14-hiring-a-mentor","title":{"rendered":"Why Hiring a Mentor Might Not Be the Stupidest Thing You Could Do"},"content":{"rendered":"

A few weeks ago I stumbled upon a well-written and quite compelling article by a fellow BP-er Ned Carey entitled How Do I Find a Mentor<\/a>\u00a0in which, having sighted a lot of the cons, he eloquently states the case against hiring a paid mentor.\u00a0 The overriding point Ned makes in his article is that because so many experienced people are willing to offer free advice here on BiggerPockets.com<\/a> and elsewhere, that there hardly is a need to pay for any guidance.<\/p>\n

Predictably enough, I concur with a lot of the points being made by Ned.\u00a0 Most mentors are not mentors \u2013 they are gurus; information peddlers.\u00a0 Most of them charge exorbitant amounts of money for what they offer.\u00a0 Most are not active as real estate investors.\u00a0 And most will never actually be there to pick-up the phone when you call\u2026<\/p>\n

Even still, I find myself taking exception to the premise that one should never<\/em> pay a mentor.\u00a0 There are good guys out there who are busy enough doing deals and living life that they won\u2019t mentor you for free.\u00a0 Having helped so many people into the game, my wife sat me down one day to tell me that even though she knows how much I love what I do, that I simply can not continue to take unlimited time away from our family.\u00a0 I have to agree with my wife because she is way smarter than I am\u2026<\/p>\n

I Don\u2019t Know About You, But I Pay for Training.<\/h2>\n

My wife Patrisha and I enjoy ballroom dancing and every Friday night we make our way to a local dance school for a lesson.\u00a0 I get a kick out of knowing how to dace just cause I like it, but equally important to me is the fact that I score BIG, HUGE points with Patrisha for looking as something other than a lamp-post when she pulls me out onto the dance floor at one of those rare \u201cevents\u201d we attend!<\/p>\n

Well, Patrisha has had ballet training and she is just an absolute whiz on the dance floor.\u00a0 When working with her, the teacher offers \u201cpointers\u201d and \u201csuggestions\u201d\u2026and then there\u2019s me.\u00a0 Don\u2019t get me wrong, I can hold my own, specifically in Latin dances, but in order for me to learn a new move the teacher needs to first show it to me, then show it to me a few more times, then dance it with me making sure to lead me forcefully, and then maybe, just maybe…<\/p>\n

I could log onto YouTube and watch incredible artists perform a Samba routine anytime I want, and I do.\u00a0 I could even watch a lesson on Samba which teaches the various steps, and I do that also.\u00a0 But I promise you, try as I may I could not possibly learn to dance Samba this way, or at least learn it in a reasonable amount of time.\u00a0 To shorten my learning curve I pay a pro to walk me through the conscious and the subconscious learning\u2026<\/p>\n

Why would learning the skill and the art of real estate investing be any different?<\/i><\/p>\n

Companies Hire Consultants.<\/h2>\n

It is standard practice in the corporate world to hire consultants.\u00a0 Why \u2013 it\u2019s not like the in-house employees aren\u2019t qualified to solve problems?\u00a0 Corporations do this for two reasons:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. This is a way to facilitate another, unbiased set of eyes to look at the problem.<\/li>\n
  2. By\u00a0paying for the service, corporations make themselves accountable.\u00a0 No one likes to \u201cwaste\u201d money, and it is amazing how our thinking and behavior can change when we \u201cgo hard\u201d by putting dough on the table \u2013 we become more focused, more committed, and more inspired to make things work.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Why would learning the skill and the art of real estate investing be any different?<\/i><\/p>\n

    Knowledge is Never Free \u2013 Nor Should it Be!<\/h2>\n

    We have to get away from the notion that knowledge can ever be free.\u00a0 Sure, if you read every article and post that I\u2019ve ever written and every article and post that J Scott, Bill Gulley, Clay Huber, Brandon Turner, Ned Carrey, Jeff Brown, Chris Clothier, and many, many others have ever written, you can gain a meaningful perspective.<\/p>\n

    Time Is Money \u2013 Do you have a decade?<\/p>\n

    And besides, there are some things that one can only learn by doing \u2013 it\u2019s called the school of hard knocks.\u00a0 I went through it when I bought a house for $45,000, sold it for $110,000 and managed to lose $20,000 \u2013 price of tuition.\u00a0 If that\u2019s how you want it, be my guest.\u00a0 If not, you can pay someone to watch your back \u2013 it\u2019ll be cheaper!<\/p>\n

    Related<\/strong>: How To Get a Mentor For Flipping Houses in 3 Simple Steps<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

    Do You Know What Success Feels Like?<\/h2>\n

    My mother is a very wise woman, and one of her favorite sayings goes something like this:\u00a0 Tell me who your friends are and I\u2019ll tell you who you are!<\/em><\/p>\n

    Experience tells me that she is absolutely right \u2013 again \ud83d\ude42\u00a0 Success is not an event or a circumstance \u2013 it is a frame of mind.\u00a0 To be successful you must think as successful people think.\u00a0 Do you know how successful people think?<\/p>\n

    Let me say it differently – in real estate we tend to use a lot of jargon, a lot of terminology that sounds completely foreign to newbies and can be quite intimidating.\u00a0 Some have even said that we invented this crazy language specifically to intimidate and keep people out of our little club.<\/p>\n

    The language of success is kind of like that too \u2013 it is foreign to people that haven\u2019t experienced it.\u00a0 I think that it is crucially important for you as a new player to surround yourself with people who have personal knowledge of success.\u00a0 You can do what I did \u2013 ask and beg for 5 years before these people let me into the club \u2013 Five Years!\u00a0 I hope you don\u2019t think that it was free; believe me when I tell you this \u2013 I PAID the price of admission!\u00a0 Do you have 5 years?\u00a0 Or, you could hire a mentor, and if you hire the right person you will get more than your money\u2019s worth.<\/p>\n

    Most People in Your Life Will Want You to Fail!<\/h2>\n

    That\u2019s right, I said it \u2013 most people in your life will want you to fail.\u00a0 It\u2019s not because they don\u2019t wish you well.\u00a0 In fact, it has very little to do with you at all.\u00a0 It is them\u2026<\/p>\n

    Your friends have known you for years.\u00a0 They are comfortable with you; the old you.\u00a0 The you that sits on the couch with them watching football, eating chips, drinking beer, and scratching yourself; the you that tells them how the money is tight at the end of the month; the you that complains to them about your boss being a prick.\u00a0 This is the you that they know and love, and the you they are comfortable with.<\/p>\n

    But, this is not who you are any more.\u00a0 You\u2019ve made the choice to break the cycle; you\u2019ve decided to be positive; you\u2019ve decided to live your life in the world of abundance not scarcity; you\u2019ve decided to create opportunity not wait for it; you\u2019ve decided to pick-up the reigns and be proactive and accountable; you\u2019ve made the choice to go after what you want!\u00a0 This is you now, and GOOD FOR YOU!<\/p>\n

    But, you need to realize that by moving forward you are necessarily making people in your life feel as though they are falling back; have you heard of Einstein\u2019s Theory of Relativity?\u00a0 Your friends are exactly where and what they\u2019ve always been.\u00a0 But they \u201cperceive\u201d being left in the dust because you are moving forward\u2026<\/p>\n

    Nobody likes this feeling, and basic human nature dictates that to save their perception of themselves they will try to hold you back. What makes this even more difficult and dangerous is that most of this happens subconsciously \u2013 most people will mean you well, but they will still try to hold you back, and they will<\/span> instill doubt in you if you let them!<\/p>\n

    Does it pay to have someone on your team who can recognize the signs and interfere?\u00a0 <\/i><\/p>\n

    Related<\/strong>: Should You Pay For a Real Estate Investing Mentor? Here\u2019s My Strategy\u2026<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

    Conclusion<\/h2>\n

    I\u2019ve taken up a lot of words to build a case for why you should hire a mentor.\u00a0 And yet, nowhere on these three pages have I disagreed with any of the logic to the contrary provided to us by Ned.<\/p>\n

    Fact \u2013 there are a lot of shysters out there charging exorbitant amount of money for mentorship or coaching.\u00a0 But, there are good guys too, who will truly help you perform at you capacity and do their very best to keep you out of trouble \u2013 if you listen!\u00a0 From here, whether to hire a mentor or not is a personal decision and I hope that this article helps some of you to make it.<\/p>\n

    What do you think? Do you agree or disagree with me? Leave your thoughts in the comments below!<\/p>\n

    Photo: Fred Astaire Upper Montclair<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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