Top 10 reasons I don't do Fannie Houses

10.  Hobo camp set up on the side porch surrounded by empty skul bottles says “Landlord knows about it man and say’s it’s OK" as he zips up his fly and then asks for a smoke.

9.  Raging party with burning can in the dining room. “Sorry guys, we’ll just be in and out real quick, do your thing!”  (Hey it was the winter).

8.  Index cards with their GOALS stuck all over the wall….. “Pay Bills” was there, but it should have been closer to the top…. I look up and can see the sky through the roof in the same room.

7.  Dead squirrel stapled to the front door…. Yea, you can’t make this @#$% up.

6.  6’ of water in the basement…. that’s feet, not inches…. and it was there for a LONG time by the looks of it.

5.  Dead Pitt-bull chained in the basement.

4.  Human feces smeared across the center of a lone mattress in the middle of the master bedroom.

3.  Bee Hive bigger than a basket ball over the front door.

2.  The majority of previous owners seemed to have loved DIY, except, they didn’t know anything about DIY and attempted to do everything with a drill and a hammer.

Drum roll PLEASE…………………………………………………….

And the number one reason I don't do Fannie Houses is

1. The winterized toilet with cellophane has a dump suspended on it.