Coming back from a HUGE mistake!

 I made a life altering decision this summer that drastically affected my life.  This decision was made during an extremely stressful time in my life.  The crazy thing is, I was on top of my game, or so I thought. 

I won't go into that mistake, just know it was HUGE, but the insane part was; I was at the highest income level I've ever achieved.  Having sold more homes than I ever had, closed the largest wholesale commission in Portland in 2016, and had a very robust Real Estate Company, Flipping portfolio, and Wholesale team. 

What wasn't apparent to me was I hadn't set in place the necessary fundamental foundation for systems and protocols.  Needless to say, I was wearing all the hats with no system in place to help me.  Stressed simply isn't a strong enough word to enhance how I was feeling.  I didn't want my team to know how I was feeling, nor my wife, family, or friends.  Learning after the fact, everyone could see it.  

This all being said, I have rebounded my business to fit the model that I wanted.  I have since hung up my Retail listing program, and focused solely on my investment side. (this side I am most passionate about)  Our team is currently working on 4 flips, and our first new construction project.  The wholesale side is running smoothly with hired birdoggers, letter writers, and an ever growing D4$ list.  

I do not tell you that bouncing back was easy, but what I learned about myself, my family, my business partners, and being authentic is worth more than I can express in words. 

So, how did I do it? Use these six tips to get into and get over what you did wrong.

1. Own It

While many of us would prefer to forget our mistakes, initially you need to acknowledge to everyone involved that you're accepting responsibility for what went wrong. If you do this right (that is, seriously and sincerely), you'll only have to do it once. You will also find out who really supported you, and whom was just along for the ride! The value of true friendships is unbeatable. 

2. Take the Heat

You may get teased for a long time to come, and still do to this day!  Keep your ego out of it! "ego is not your amigo". Accept gentle ribbing with a wink and a smile. Many times I go ahead and talk about it in a jokingly way before a conversation happens. Most of my colleagues already knew about it, but were uncomfortable bring it up.  We are all human and it's ok to be vulnerable. However, don't take blatant abuse from someone who can't get past what happened. If a colleague's teasing becomes taunting, simply move on, and thank them for letting you know where you stand with them. 

3. Don't Beat Yourself Up

It does no good to dwell on your mistakes, which can lead to doubting your competence. "This type of thinking is actually self-destructive and only serves to hamper future effectiveness," "Remember: Failure is not in the falling down but in the staying down." I have always learned from my past failures and actually welcome them.  It gives me the data to analyze of what does not work for me, or what not to do the next time.  I recommend reading "The Lean Start Up". Great book that discusses the pitfalls (among many other great tidbits) of trying to be too perfect, or waiting to launch a product when it's perfect, or... The list goes on. 

4. Learn from the Past

Solicit advice from your trusted associates to help you analyze what went wrong and how you might've avoided the error entirely. Go back in the process as long as is necessary; however, be careful to avoid blaming anyone else, despite what you may uncover. Just learn from your own mistakes. Everything I have become is due to great mentorship and the ability to get out of my own way to put to practice the suggestions from these trusted associates. 

5. Keep It In Perspective

Seek a broad view of your career and accomplishments. "Chances are, you've experienced at least as many successes as failures," "It's the successes that deserve your greatest attention. Learn from them and continue to build upon your strengths."

6. Move On

You've apologized. You've taken your lumps. You've analyzed where you went wrong. Now, it's time to move on. Don't raise the topic of your mistake again. Your boss, coworkers, partners, and family members want to move past this as much you do; continue to look to the future and don't allow your career or day-to-day performance to be marred by one error. 

In summary! If you accept the fact that mistakes are going to happen, large or small you have the ability to anchor them in a way that you can use to your advantage.  I suggest highly to stay away from negative self talk as you are your own worst critic.  Most likely it wasn't as big of a deal as YOU are making it out to be.  Let go of your ego.  This by far is the largest contributing factor to not moving past your mistake. Admit when you are wrong, and quickly offer an amends if needed.  Last point, MOVE ON!  Yesterday always ends at midnight offering you another 24 hours to get it right.  The single thing you cannot control is time, it simply keeps ticking on.  

Hopefully by me sharing my experience helps at least one person.  Go out and make today your BEST day!