Where is THE MORTON salt top?

Geez! When it RAINS, it pours! I "live" in Morton country! Cannot find my dang top neither! Well, another GURU "tip" bites the dust-humn, I should/could WRITE a book for the NEWBIE beginner-on BEWARE of the advice you get/take on all the BRIGHT ideas from webinars and books the gurus make money from YOU-when in the truth of it ALL-it cost the NEWBIE money instead. Case in point, today I got a call from the manager of BOOKS A Million, idiot me ...again took some dumb advice of some guru, cannot recall who, which one, but they said put biz card in all the RE books on B. Million shelf, so I did, like  umn, a year ago, now getting a call, oops, well, they could have pressed charges, sweet talked my way out of it...no fine this time, the last cost me $286 and going to court over those STUPID bandit signs! So, again, I have not MADE a dime, aah, one red cent from Real estate, it has ALWAYS cost me, I must be a dang idiot fool, as I am a sucker /glutten for punishment I suppose, I cannot give it up=I have a belief, it ain't just happened for me as to date. I keep reading all the success stories, yet have not experienced it yET! LOL to keep my sanity!