Agent Struggles - Friends Using Other Agents - Advice?

[Jesse Smith]

Good morning all.  The last few months have been rather frustrating, and I'm hoping to get some advice from others who may have had similar experiences.  

I got my RE Agent License almost a year ago.  Very quickly, I assisted two buyers (one friend and one former co-worker) to buy homes.  Both purchases went smoothly, and feedback was great.  

I continued to talk with my friends and acquaintances about real estate (I'm also an investor).  I told them that I had gotten my license and that I would be happy to help if they decided to buy or sell (keeping in mind not to be pushy).  I also shared this a couple times on social media.  Many of my friends are at the point in life where they are planning to buy their first home or upgrade their current home. 

Over the past 6-8 months, at least 6 of my friends have bought and/or sold their homes.  NONE of them have asked me to be their agent, despite having a number of discussions about the process.  They've been happy to ask my advice on negotiation, inspections, appraisals, pricing, staging, etc.  I always end up helping them out, of course with no compensation.  This has become incredibly frustrating.  

I'm good at what I do, and I've personally purchased 8 properties myself.  For some reason, this hasn't translated into my friends trusting me to handle their transactions.  Two have even told me (unprompted) that they wanted to "keep the friendship separate from such a big decision."  They both ended up using someone they didn't even know at all and asking me questions when things got confusing.

Have any of you had similar experiences?  If I can't even get my friends to trust me as an agent, how can I expect to have others do it?  Any advice would be appreciated.  

[Rich S.]

I'm not an agent and I don't pretend to know what it is like in their chair, but in my experience I don't buy the full time agent is better than the part time agent as a blanket statement.  Don't get me wrong, it is hard to replicate years of experience, through thousands of transactions, I completely get that.  I have seen the successful, full time agent have flaws in my experience.  An example of the two times I used one of, if not the top agent in the area left me with the same feeling.  The high flying, really successful agent, is almost impossible to consistently get a hold of unless you are in the top tier of listings.  I used a very successful, high volume agent on two separate occasions(two different ones).  My listings were both middle of the road, I'd say middle 50% of market value type stuff.  In both occasions it very much felt like my listings were just a number.  I might have been able to get a hold of a support staff person on a regular basis, but rarely the agent.  I also had mistakes in both transactions that were avoidable had someone on the team or the agent taken the time to double check things.  

In the times I've used part time or just getting started agents, I've felt much more valued and much more of a priority.  It very well could have been the people(individual agents) and something you can say part time or eager new agents are better, but if I'm not selling top of market stuff, I'm not very inclined to race to the top of the charts to find my agent.  In the end, I don't think the top ranking agents got me more money or did a better job and maybe I just didn't like the feel.

In regard to not giving advice without someone paying you? Don't agents do that all the time when they go to listing appointments with CMA's hoping to land the listing?

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[Mindy Jensen]

@Jesse Smith, I'm an agent, and I answer real estate questions any time my friends or family ask. Why? Because I have the information, not all agents are created equal, and I want my friends and family to have this information, too.

Some use me to buy, some don't. I don't ask why, I just assume they don't want me to know their finances. Also, like someone mentioned, if the deal goes south, I don't want friendship wrapped up inside it.

[Carrie K.]

Your friends are wise not to mix business and friendship. A person can always find a new agent if things aren't going well, but if doing so could damage the friendship, they're in an awkward spot. View their decision as them saying "I value you too much as a friend to risk our friendship over this." My two cents anyway.