It looks like divorce

15 Replies

So when I first became a biggerpocket's member I asked a question in the forums is REI worth a divorce.. my question is now how can I protect my two vacant lots on the lake that i just purchased since August now that it looks like divorce is for sure coming.. for the past couple of weeks she would leave during the day so I could be able to educate myself with watching podcasts or reading books or driving for dollars etc.. she's been gone for the past three days and nights and I barely heard from her. when I said something about why is her stuff still here if she wasnt going to come home she said that she would come pack it tomorrow.. well I just got done packing it tonight and I'm wondering if there's a way to protect my investments.. the whole marriage i have been the one taking care of both of us and its been horrible every since i got laid off from working in the plants in west texas.. i was trying to hang on till i could atleast get a post nup signed but now it dont look like that is going to happen.. i was trying to make a better life for the both of us and now it looks like my REI days might be done.. I don't even know what category this would fall under and any advice given would be very much appreciated.. thank you in advance

I feel your pain @Daron Williams First, find out if your problems can be repaired or if you have to go your separate ways. No hurry to start selling things. Keep your mortgage payments current, or arrange forbearance to protect your marital assets.

In time, the two of you will sit down and divide the marital assets and a judge look it over and stamp 'okay' on your agreement. Dividing real property is difficult because it may have to be sold. When I had the Sit Down, we agreed on the value of some of the properties and needed a few appraised. After each was assigned a value, we traded the assets until we were both satisfied with the division. Other examples included in the division are the cars and retirement accounts. Every asset has a value to trade. 

Talk to the pros and get help because emotions cloud one's sensibilities to value things.

@Daron Williams if you are using your whole full name and posting this for the world to see I’m not so sure that is a good idea. Why in the world are you sharing all your laundry to a form of strangers? These post are indexed  and shared on the World Wide Web. If you’re using your full name anybody can do a search and pull stuff up. What are you thinking my good brother? 

Because everyone on here knows more about real estate then anyone i know in my personal life.. and itsnothing that she dont already know or have in text msgs or anything else.. thank you for the advice

@Daron Williams

@Joe S. has a point. I would recommend consulting with an attorney and CPA in regards to all of this.

Best of luck man, I strongly agree with the first comment on trying to mend things before resulting to the last resort. I’d try to find the underlying issue that is causing the divide between you. It’s not real estate...

Originally posted by @Daron Williams :

I do love her and dont want a failed marriage

 But does she feel the same way?  From the sounds of it you are better off without her.  There are worse things than a divorce and you've been married less than a year.  Your health and well being is worth more and if she doesn't care, then that is your answer.

Just remember when you are valuing the lots that they are not worth the purchase price. In order to sell them you likely will have a ten percent commission for a vacant lot, plus all the other closing costs. Plus whatever the holding costs are (generally the cost for the time you are trying to sell the lots--usually insurance and property taxes, maybe loan payments). You can ask a realtor to give you the net that would be expected from selling them, that is their value.

Thank yall.. maybe now that i have what appears to be a home run for my first off market deal contract she will understand why all i do is educate and be okay with it.. she says all i have to do is be the man i was when i loved myself, didnt have so much stress on my plate and all her insecurities will go away and she will be that loving happy wife like she was

@Daron Williams - it sounds like there are some financial stresses in your life and you may not be working / bringing in an income. If you love real estate, consider becoming an agent so people can pay you to look at houses all day. Or a handyman. Are you the man that she married? (Income? Daily Activities?) What was your job then and now? You said you listen to podcasts while she goes out for the day. I got myself into an education funk a couple years ago (listening about wholesaling but not calling or mailing anyone) and learned that taking action helped me exceed my wildest dreams. It could start with writing 3-10 things you know you need to do, then do the easiest one first so you have a win and see if you want to do some more. As simple as paying a bill or listing one of your 2 land lots for sale. Good luck and I hope you can find a way to stay together.

Originally posted by @Natalie Schanne :

@Daron Williams - it sounds like there are some financial stresses in your life and you may not be working / bringing in an income. If you love real estate, consider becoming an agent so people can pay you to look at houses all day. Or a handyman. Are you the man that she married? (Income? Daily Activities?) What was your job then and now? You said you listen to podcasts while she goes out for the day. I got myself into an education funk a couple years ago (listening about wholesaling but not calling or mailing anyone) and learned that taking action helped me exceed my wildest dreams. It could start with writing 3-10 things you know you need to do, then do the easiest one first so you have a win and see if you want to do some more. As simple as paying a bill or listing one of your 2 land lots for sale. Good luck and I hope you can find a way to stay together.

 I would love to be an agent but my background wont let me.. and im no where near the men i was when she met me.. i was working in west texas making 24hr and 100 per diem and didnt have no worries.. the happiest i ever been with myself.. also i mothers health was alot better then to. Shes 80 and has dementia.. i stay with her and my oldest sister which is 60 so i can help take care of her and the property. When i first got laid off i hated having to move home but now I'm glad im here so i can help.. i put my first wholesale deal under contract yesterday and have buyers lined up to come look at it the next couple of days.. both of my lots are for sale the only reason the lakeview lot hasnt sold is because u have to have two lots to build and still wanting for the owner to come from Louisiana she wants to see it before she puts hers up to sale.. when i started learning about real estate i also started trying to fix my credit almost have all them old dr bills paid off thank god.. i got lucky when i found out about real estate, and was blessed when i found out about biggerpocket's

@Daron Williams

I agree with Joe... Even thought it’s Real Estate, you should consult an attorney. The Attorney would have your best interests.

Also, I think there is a lot of emotions involved so try to have a conversation with your wife 1st before you start moving things into motion.

Well I caught her cheating red-handed even got it on video.. afterwards when I get back home she messages me talking about please forgive me I'm sorry that she still wants to make the marriage work but I just went by there two hours later and the guy still there so how is that trying to make it work

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