Investment vs Family - Personal Time & Finance Balancing

[Kyle Pagliaro]

Hey All - I'm currently in my initial stages of my RE investing journey, but wanted to get opinions and advice on balancing my aspirations for the day to day real world time and financial commitments necessary. I'm currently engaged to be married in February 2024 and while she is 1,000% supportive of investing (being brought along in the journey while I do most of the day to day work), I want to make sure I don't forget to take time for my future marriage. In the same vein, she and I have talked about how finances will be managed, but I'd be curious to know if anyone has lessons learned or advice for a new couple starting out. 

Thanks in advance!

[Kaja Baum]

Hey @Kyle Pagliaro, I was in your position not long ago. Still am in many ways. I think it's an ebb and flow depending on where you are in life. I found that while the first few years of investing have been incredibly stressful, they're also going pay off big for my future family. If you don't have kids, now is the time to hit it hard and possibly frame to your future wife that in a few years, all this work will give you some wonderful options.

My husband is much like your wife. Super supportive but not interested in the day-to-day. I think the biggest thing is like you said, being on the same page with finances. It's hard enough carrying much of the load for investing. It would be unbearable if I felt he was working against me by making frivolous purchases or was unwilling to make a few sacrifices. 

We've also kept our finances mostly separate, not because we don't trust each other but because two people means twice the mortgages. Also, she may not want to manage spread sheets but maybe she wants to be the designer to make your house hack a gorgeous rental, or utilize her photography skills for your listings, or play model for your STR lifestyle photos etc.

Hope that helps. And Congrats on the engagement! 

[Jeff Nash]

Congratulations!  I would write down your goals and try to commit to a schedule that you think is realistic to achieve.  Sometimes it might entail getting up very early or going to bed late to get that little extra done.  It sounds like you communicate well with your fiancée and that is essential so keep that up.  If you want or need to do something just keep her in the loop.  All in all you need to find balance in everything one way or another.  CPA CFP here just giving life experiences so far.  Everything ends up being trial and error and learning from mistakes and seeing what works and what does not.  Read a lot of try to find one or more mentors.  Good luck. 

[Benjamin Aaker]

Good on you for thinking about this right now rather than just forging ahead. Real estate is great in that you can determine what amount of time you will spend on it. Discuss this with your fiance and block out your time for investing. If she is on board with it, that shouldn't be a problem, because you both see the benefits. If she thinks it is just a hobby, or worse, gambling, then you need to take a lot of time to discuss it before beginning.
Be sure to separate your investments from your personal finances. Be very strict about this. Some personal money will need to go to investments to get started, but investment money shouldn't go to personal until far down the road.

[Steve Vaughan]

For time balance, I had mostly designated days I'd do x for and in my portfolio.   Market for deals on this day, do all non-emergency repairs this day.  So it's not constant.

We combined our finances pretty much right away. It was our investments that got us freedom,  not our jobs / careers.   We never made a ton of money working, just invested early and often.  @Kyle Pagliaro

[Daniel Murphy]

This is a tough decision. In my experience, you both want to have a deep discussion(s) about your end goal and hopes for the RE investing. As well as what your expectations are of day-to-day / short-term goals.  From my personal experience, I would dedicate a semi-annual (or other REGULAR intervals) to revisit these goals. 

Goals & expectations are great, but they rarely jive with reality.  Meaning, your balance may be way better or way worse than expected.  

I spent ~10 years building up a business & lifestyle that allowed me a lot more personal freedom for that work/life balance.  Unfortunately, my (ex) wife didn't jive with the same expectations. 

Now that I'm in my early 40s with teenagers, I absolutely love having the increased flexibility to drive them to school, be present mid-day for anything or just having the overall flexibility to be present for who ever needs me, whenever they need me. Looking back though, I could have taken my foot off of the gas earlier.  Worked less hours & would potentially had the same outcome, but possibly a few years later than I expected. But also possibly not dealing with a blended family either. 

All this is to say. Be intentional. Be open to hearing your future wife's concerns, both spoken & unspoken. And be prepared that both of your goals & expectations will likely change along the way.