Sexual advances from a prospective tenant

43 Replies

Originally posted by @Joe Splitrock :
Originally posted by @JD Martin:
Originally posted by @Marvin Meng:

Update: 

I sent the above email and haven't heard anything since - so I think the trouble is averted. I originally didn't post the gender because you never know who's reading it and I didn't want to be accused of discrimination based on orientation or give the impression that I'm homophobic but you're right; it's not a "she". (Actually, for a boomer, I'm pretty "woke"). And it occurred to me that I could just as easily be accused of discrimination against a woman based on gender.

I know there are traps out there. I remember reading in Landlording on Autopilot about the landlord who didn't show a woman with a walker upstairs apartments and wound up with a $15K fine. And I knew a lady in college who would call property managers pretending to be different people to catch them discriminating, then report them to the state. So I tread carefully...

Thank you all so much for your suggestions. Overall common sense is a good guide but it helped me to run it by you all!

 Always good to get feedback! And I knew immediately when you posted it was a guy; I just didn't want to derail your thread. You were so careful to avoid any gender reveal when most - virtually all - men would have said "she" if it were the case. I like your strategy, though, and like it or not there's still plenty of prejudice out there so I think you went about it right. Besides, at the end of the day sexual harassment is sh regardless of gender. 

 Alright JD, your gaydar is obviously better than mine. I had an employee work for me over a year before I found out he was gay. My female employees told me, "you know he is gay" and I had no clue. I didn't pay attention and honestly I didn't care. He was a rock star employee, which is all I paid attention to. 

The important thing is that you react the same regardless of gender. It in no more (or less) acceptable to have a woman send a landlord lewd photos, then it is a man. 

Read my response and replace her with him, same answer.

 Absolutely right :)   I didn't want to say anything in the beginning post because a lot of men are uncomfortable/embarrassed by that sort of thing. Me personally it doesn't bother one way or the other, but you are completely right that sexual harassment is exactly that regardless of gender. 

Originally posted by @Nicki Shelton :

@Marvin Meng wow I never thought this would be a thing. I must really be in for a few surprises when we become land lords.

 I hate to admit it but the weird stories can be kinda fun sometimes. Whenever it comes up that I'm an investor I always hear "I couldn't deal with the clogged toilets, late night phone calls, etc...". I always answer "Let me tell you what really happens"! 

I had a car hit a house once (from behind no less) and this is my second sexual harassment situation. The other was a woman and when I showed up to serve her five-day notice she answered the door in lingerie. When she saw I was with a police officer, she grabbed a robe. 

Yes, you're in for some weird stories, but nothing you can't handle. And when you do get stuck, there's this community always willing to help. 

Good luck and hang in there!

Well, if the payment for rent is not a consistent income for your profit, make the deal!

I doubt this was a legitimate request to rent, and perhaps a test to see if some fun could be had at your expense.
Imagine yourself all tied up at the property, robbed of your clothes and anything else of value, until a family member came to check up on you! how do you explain that? They make movies with this situation!

Worst case would be that this is a cop, and you lose your property, as it is confiscated by law enforcement in a sting operation!

I would be flattered, and move on to the next potential tenant. Even if the intent was just to get the deposit waived, if you are in business, this is a side hustle I would walk away from!

Hey, This is Illinois! If you don't watch it, you may just get what you ask for!

Originally posted by @JD Martin :

You know, this sounds like the beginning of virtually all pornos with landlords 😂.

The short answer is don't rent to anyone you're not comfortable with. Keep your "documentation" that they sent you and ignore them going forward; if there's ever any claim of discrimination you have the pictures and texts and that's all you'll need. 

 Classic line! Apparently doesn't work all the time. 

Glad to know there are still a lot of decent landlords out there 😂 

The previous owner of my multifamily warned me that tenants made sexual advances often to avoid paying rent. I thought he was full of it. In my 4 years of owning that building, it has never happened to me. But here we are with another story of it! It must not be super rare after all.

These types of encounters are certainly part of the game. This is why I have 2 retired police officers-turned-agents on my team to list and show. I had a very scary incident happen a couple of years ago while showing a property, and I did call the police.  The magistrate did nothing because I didn't have it on video.  The magistrate's honest suggestion was that I wear a Go-Pro while on property.  

Anti discrimination laws generally require there be a legally protected class of people, ex handicapped, transgender, or by religion, gender or race.  What protected class would you allegedly be discriminating against?  Are people who like to text inappropriate pictures a protected class in your state?  

@Catherine Emert

There is no reason to say why a meeting was canceled. The cancelation is good enough without a reason. Its those reasons that get people in trouble as they try to be politically correct.

This way, any potential legal issues are on their dime. With the pictures sent, even an Illinois judge would know the score.

@Marvin Meng

You did what I have advised my female employees to do countless times when this happens to them. I am glad this is your first occasion of sexual harassment in your business. For women it is constant. On the phone, email, text, in person, we receive “offers”, “jokes”, “compliments”and photos of sexually explicit things.

@Marvin Meng 😂 Man this like a movie, I’m glad you taking the proper preparation to handle that situation so you wont later be under water off a miss communication.

Originally posted by @Jennifer Ruelens :

@Marvin Meng

You did what I have advised my female employees to do countless times when this happens to them. I am glad this is your first occasion of sexual harassment in your business. For women it is constant. On the phone, email, text, in person, we receive “offers”, “jokes”, “compliments”and photos of sexually explicit things.

It's embarrassing that at my age I'm only beginning to get a clue of what women and minorities are put through. I've had friends who were assault survivors and victims of various levels of discrimination; from subtle to blatant. This was not my first experience with harassment but it was the first time it had me genuinely rattled. I'm sorry that you and your female employees have to put up with this.

 

Originally posted by @Suzanne Player :

Anti discrimination laws generally require there be a legally protected class of people, ex handicapped, transgender, or by religion, gender or race.  What protected class would you allegedly be discriminating against?  Are people who like to text inappropriate pictures a protected class in your state?  

Sexual orientation.

 

@Marvin Meng Yes, absolutely, sexual orientation - I just put "ex" ("for example") in front of the partial list b/c I didn't have time to make sure I included every protected class we have.