Yellow Letter Feedback please

20 Replies

Looking for some feedback on my letter. I'm not trying to make myself out to someone larger than I am, it's just my wife and I and that's how I'm looking to represent myself. We won't always $$$ PAY CASH $$$. We are looking to buy a very select 3-4 houses this year. 

Maybe that's the wrong approach, you tell me. Is it better to portray myself as a larger organization like the guru's suggest? 

Anyway, please critique my letter. I always appreciate the feedback from this group.

Thanks

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@Bryan H.  I'm no expert but the tried and proven idea is that this is a personal offer, not from some faceless corporation.  You don't want to appear big.

The coffee stain?  Maybe it looks more personal.  Maybe it piques their curiosity a bit more.

As for $$ PAY CASH $$, if you sometimes do pay cash you may want to put that in there.  You are putting your best foot forward, like any advertising.  You could say "we can pay $$ CASH $$, as that leaves the door open to not paying cash.

In the end, these are all little things to improve response by some margin.  They will not make or break your campaign.  Your letter is fine.  When you start sending out 10K mailings, a 5% or 10% improvement may become a lot more meaningful.

@Bryan H.   

Yours actually seems good to me. I think it's better to make it come from you instead of a major corporation, people would be less intimidated. Most Guru's I've seen actually say to make it from you instead of a company and I have gotten some good results from mines. I wanted to post a pic of mines to show you but I couldn't find it on my computer. I add a p.s at the bottom asking to even call me if they do not want to sell because i would love to hear from them. The funny thing is it actually worked and It allowed me to build some rapport and resulted in a call back some months later. They actually call and say "well the letter said to call anyway so I just wanted to let you know". Now I haven't been doing this for years and closed hundreds of deals so I haven't tested it out in different ways yet but you could always send out different verbiage to some and track which letters work best for you in your area (at least that's what I plan on doing in the near future). 

I am actually very interested to know the significance of the coffee stain as well. According to the podcast @Michael Quarles is a marketing genius so it has to be something behind it. Just like the drunken letter!

Your letter is fine, but I would change the "win-win", sends the wrong message. And your PS should be a "call to action". Something like "I only have enough cash to buy two houses and have sent this letter you your neighbors. So please call ASAP if you are interested in selling".

As for the coffee stain, you can find that imagine for free by googling it. We did not have much success with it, so I do not use it.

Originally posted by @Shane Foster :

Your letter is fine, but I would change the "win-win", sends the wrong message. And your PS should be a "call to action". Something like "I only have enough cash to buy two houses and have sent this letter you your neighbors. So please call ASAP if you are interested in selling".

As for the coffee stain, you can find that imagine for free by googling it. We did not have much success with it, so I do not use it.

Thanks Shane. My wife agreed with you on the 'win-win', so we changed that. We also changed the PS line. I showed her the coffee stain and she said her germaphobe self wouldnt touch the letter, it looked dirty,. haha

correction.. "we are will TO buy it".. you forgot to. Maybe change the next line to.. we pay with cash, helping avoid high realtor fees and standard closing cost. 

How many are you looking to send, just curious.

Originally posted by @Shane Foster :

correction.. "we are will TO buy it".. you forgot to. Maybe change the next line to.. we pay with cash, helping avoid high realtor fees and standard closing cost. 

How many are you looking to send, just curious.

 Thanks for the catch! 

We are only sending 100 right now. It's a very focused area. 30 sq miles. You could say we are dipping our toes in this. My wife isn't totally on board, so its a trial run for us. 

We do the opposite and send a type written letter that looks like a law firm sent it.. very professional.. it works for us.... I sent out 80 in my target market last month and closed on two properties that are 50k plus profits each.

I've never had luck sending bulk letters. I have had luck sending to very specific letters to specific owners and dropping details specific to the property I am trying to buy (or collect a finders fee on). People seem to appreciate the time you spend on the letter and I've only had 8 out of the last 26 letters I've sent not respond. My on-hand cash is limited, and I don't have plans to wholesale. So unfortunately, I don't buy from every person that calls or mails me back an asking price.  I'm a buy and hold kinda gal. If I had the time, energy and money to wholesale, I 'm sure I would have a bit more advice to give.

Originally posted by @JOAN DICKIE :

@Bryan H. Are you buying a list to send to or are you driving for dollars?

I got my list from tax records. I am able to filter on just about everything I need. Bed rooms, bathrooms, sq ft, single family, deed date, tax values, date built, etc.

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Originally posted by @Jay Hinrichs :

We do the opposite and send a type written letter that looks like a law firm sent it.. very professional.. it works for us.... I sent out 80 in my target market last month and closed on two properties that are 50k plus profits each.

 I may try that next time. . .never know what will push each persons buttons to respond. 

@Bryan H.  

  further,,, I also mail the letter from the post office in the city I am working in.. I have a local telephone number not an 800 number and we answer it live.  Along with of course a local return address...

I get probably 5 to 10 yellow letter type solicitations a month from the 11 states I work in.. and usually in batch's so I think maybe a guru went through the market within 30 days..

But most are post marked out of state.. Like I got one for some of my Birmingham properties last week.. Post mark UTAH... Also when the message is basically the same.. Remember all of you are ready the same thing about content or nearly the same.. And what your targeting is 80% chance other investors are targeting as well. so when you get the letter that is obviously a semi phony yellow legal pad letter saying about the same message just the names are changed does not take a seller long to realize these are just form letters. But of course people will respond other wise no one would send the letters in the first place and be sending them the last 30 years.

The ones I really did not like was the :

Hey I was were your at now I was also once broke... blah blah blah.. these going to NOD 's

when I purchase foreclsosures at court house steps I would find 20 to 50 of these letters in the homes occasionally and I would read them all the same mumbo jumbo.

I have one other trick that I really like but you have to e mail me for that one.

Originally posted by @Jay Hinrichs :

We do the opposite and send a type written letter that looks like a law firm sent it.. very professional.. it works for us.... I sent out 80 in my target market last month and closed on two properties that are 50k plus profits each.

 Very interesting. You worked in nor cal for a while too right? Ive sent a small mailing on plain white paper and gotten an ok response (2%), but they are no strangers to tools like zillow.

Originally posted by @Jay Hinrichs :

@Bryan H.  

  further,,, I also mail the letter from the post office in the city I am working in.. I have a local telephone number not an 800 number and we answer it live.  Along with of course a local return address...

I get probably 5 to 10 yellow letter type solicitations a month from the 11 states I work in.. and usually in batch's so I think maybe a guru went through the market within 30 days..

But most are post marked out of state.. Like I got one for some of my Birmingham properties last week.. Post mark UTAH... Also when the message is basically the same.. Remember all of you are ready the same thing about content or nearly the same.. And what your targeting is 80% chance other investors are targeting as well. so when you get the letter that is obviously a semi phony yellow legal pad letter saying about the same message just the names are changed does not take a seller long to realize these are just form letters. But of course people will respond other wise no one would send the letters in the first place and be sending them the last 30 years.

The ones I really did not like was the :

Hey I was were your at now I was also once broke... blah blah blah.. these going to NOD 's

when I purchase foreclsosures at court house steps I would find 20 to 50 of these letters in the homes occasionally and I would read them all the same mumbo jumbo.

I have one other trick that I really like but you have to e mail me for that one.

 Awesome responses! Jay, would it be possible to share your other trick with me as well? Gonna begin my marketing campaign within the next couple weeks. Sent you a colleague request.

@Pat McGrath  

  Never did direct mail in N CA.  never needed to... my days in Nor cal were spent selling development and ranch lands and buying TAX sales... we bought enough inventory at the sale as to not need to chase down anyone pre... Some years we bought 100 plus properties on the day of the sale  a slow year would be 50... We had realtors feeding us deals for 20 years plus.  I know times they be a changin... though.

was just in Lincoln last summer for my niece's wedding stayed at Thunder Valley that's one nice Indian casino and hotel  by the way.

My direct mail that I do now is in other states one were I live and others in the deep south were I am active.

@Jay Hinrichs

Great responses and very impressive resume! Jay, would it be possible to share your other trick with me as well? I'm located here in South Florida. market is Hot!! I will send you a colleague request and pm.

Originally posted by @William Hochstedler :

Utah (and I assume other states) requires us to disclose licensure and name the brokerage.

Any thoughts on how this applies to yellow letter writing?

Thanks,

Wm

I am curious about this as well. I assume there are plenty of licensed investors out there doing this. How are you handling this aspect of your marketing?

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