I'm starting a new mail campaign and created a new postcard. I'd appreciate the groups feedback. My objective was to have something that was short and to the point. Something that could be read before the recipient makes it to the trash can. Also wanted to leave them wanting more information to hopefully entice them to call to find out more. Last campaign I used a pre-made template but think it was way too wordy. If I were the recipient I would have likely tossed it before I had a chance to read it. Let me know what you think and how I could improve it. Thanks.
OK so keep in mind before I say anything I am trying to help and this is solely my opinion.
I think the card looks unprofessional. It is not ONLY about having the card seen/noticed. You need credibility.
That "font" looks like some kid wrote it. It simply feels like you are trying too hard to get their attention and that comes across as desperate and again that comes across as not really credible.
Often you sacrifice one for the other. Either jump around and waver bright neon flags yelling and screaming hey hey heeeeey look at me look at meeee and you just don;t look very credible or be cool and collected, professional calm, but you won;t get noticed.
So it is a compromise you have to look into.
JUST colorful enough to be noticed yet still professional looking.
Now after I shot you down, let me try to help you back up.
The way I personally believe you can be noticable yet professional... is put a picture of your wife, girlyfriend on the card, let her wear a nice colorful top, and put your message on the card.
Having a set of eyes (and a person) on the card, the recipients eyes will be drawn to hers. At least to see who it is. People judge people. It is the way it is. A picture will have them judging, is she hot, is she not, is she hotter than me, is she not, is her hair nice is it not....
Use that. Think on your own, use that creativity. Don;t just follow the masses. Don;t just abide to the established rules of the masses. Be the trend setter!
My take away from you critique is that the look and feel needs work. What about the message? Anything I should consider changing? Thanks again.
Revised copy. FIre away. LOL.
Originally posted by @Mark Perry :
Revised copy. FIre away. LOL.
You look too much like an agent. My sellers HAAATE agents. They can't stand them. So here is what I would do.
You need to look more approachable. Get a polo, with your logo on it. Smile. Be friendly.
I wouldn't use the word investors. I would simply say we are home buyers.
Keep this in mind. I am no all knowing guru. I just use my logic and common sense.
I wouldn't structure the card like a sales pitch either. (bullet point list).
I would just "talk" to my sellers.
Hi I am Jerryll. We are local home buyer and we are always looking for houses to buy. If you have at all considered selling but don;t want to deal with an agent, just visit our website. Everything you need to know about our sservies is explained there.
Hope to hear from you.
BUT, again, that is what I would do. I am not telling you you SHOULD do this. DMM is really tricky.
You really need to test and test and test.
Thats why I hate DMM and why I stopped doing this 3 years ago.
And if you could put a female on the card.
@Mark Perry I like that you are telling them right off the bat how you can benefit them. That is important. I would probably stay away from being part of a local group of investors because I feel like that can sound intimidating. Instead say "I am a local investor and I am looking to purchase..." As for the style you swung from very playful looking to very professional looking and you need to be in the middle ground. I think taking out the big yellow bar could help. If you want to discuss more strategy feel free to give me a call.
@McKinley Crowley thanks for the feedback. Here's my latest version.
Hi Mark, I can send you some of the postcard designs that is working for me. Feel free to DM me.
A lot better.
So I personally don't like:
"Hello my name is Mark".
I would say: "Hi, I'm Mark".
It is shorter, more approachable, less stiff, friendlier.
Add, "No repairs or cleaning necessary"
People LOVE the word "Free".
Consider "No obligation free offer"?
Do you have a polo with your logo on it?
That would really help.
I think the content is there. I think you need to now focus a bit more on the layout. Your pic I would put it higher up. I like the top left corner.
Now here is what you need to do. You need more credibility.
You HAVE to put your website on it and try to direct people to your site. Your website is on it, but it should not be to your home page. Create a landing page on your site targeting your sent traffic to your website. Track visitors, bounce-rate and interaction as well as time on page on that page to monitor the quality of your targeted audience. Tell people they are welcome on your page, give them a navigation directory, (if you are in foreclosure (put an anchor text to your foreclosure page) where you will explicitly talk to them about getting out of foreclosure by selling their house to you. Remember you do not have to win them over anymore, they are already yours so just be normal. No selling pitch just provide information and be genuinely helpful. Do the same for hell tenants and all the possible reasons anyone may have to sell, create a page. You will convert a LOT better doing it this way!
Please read this very very carefully:
Play with the layout and see what everyone here says. I love the fact you actually are open to advice and implement. A lot of people here back for advice and they don't like the advice for the wrong reasons and they are stubborn. Having said that, you NEED to agree with what ever advice is given makes sense to you. YOU need to be happy with the result too!
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