Is it a red flag when someone says "I can help you?"
I do not know if I am just getting older (Im gen x) and more jaded or if it is a red flag, but I hate it when I am looking to hire someone or have hired and they in a convo about said work tell me that they are "helping me out." This is said when I am NOT asking for ANY charity or extra non paid work. Just looking to hire someone to do a job, have them do it and then pay them a fair market rate. I have worked in the foodservice biz for over 2 decades and usually tip even when it is not a thing. I have worked HARD to get EVERY dime I have and would never ask someone to work with out getting paid. ESPECIALLY in these COVID times!
So far, if someone says this to me then I do not hire. Am I passing up potentially good ppl bcuz they are using a vernacular Im not familiar with? Or is it a red flag that the person feels that they are entitled and that even when they benefit and profit from a business relationship they still feel like they are doing a form of charity by gracing some lucky person with themselves and their capabilities? Maybe I should mention I do business in places like the NorCal Bay Area and near NYC in NJ?
I have had it come up a few times in the last few years.
-Real Estate agent told me that he could "help me out" by showing me some properties in an area I was looking to buy in. I am a legit investor and have proof of funds, prequal, good credit, etc. I know how a traditional home purchase works in that when he represents me as a buyer's agent he gets (usually) half of a 5-6% commission on the price of the home I buy. It felt like he was just trying to one-up me so that I would go with what ever he wanted to sell/tell me. I ended up going with another agent and bought a house for just over a mil.
-General contractor that got a $7400 deposit out of me and was doing very sub par work (trust me it is BAD) tells me that he can "help me out" by calling up his workers to find out what is going on with my job. He has also told me that he is going to "help me out" by finishing the work. I finally told him directly that he has been paid a hefty deposit (big mistake on my part) and is not doing any charity work. He has a job to do, for which he has been prepaid, and now he needs to perform. After his subs/foremen/workers did a horrible job on a washer dryer hookup (sheetrock a hot mess, spackle in plugs, vent that got clogged less than 2 weeks after installation), I fired him and requested the unused portion of my deposit back. Trust me, I gave this guy EVERY chance to perform and he had a material breach when the job exceeded 3x over the 23 days he had to complete it. After 4 months he only completed $2550 (paying him full price for shoddy work) out of a 19k contract.
-I am looking for a video production company or person to shoot, edit, etc a YouTube channel I want to put together. I have had a couple of responses say that they can "help me out" with my project. I am NOT asking for charity in ANY way. I am paying the higher end of industry standard. I definitely have a learning curve in this vein of biz but am willing to put in the $ and my time.
-While looking for another general contractor (to start/finish the projects) on nextdoor, I have read responses where other ppl ask for recommendations for a good GC. Lots of responses. A few from ppl that own construction companies. 2 out of about 2 dozen said they "would be happy to help out by taking on the project." Again, the person asking for referrals did not say now word about needing even a cheap person or citing a low budget. They were just asking for a good contractor to do good work.
Again, am I just a silly stickler, or is this a red flag?
It comes across to me like the person wants to either
1. Avoid "ownership" of their time and work (lacks responsibility and does not want to be accountable) and ignore the fact that they $$$$ benefit and want the focus to be on their "charitable," benevolent, and good achievements.
2. They want to feel "above it all" and hold the power dynamic putting me in my "place" by inferring that they are helping me by working for me. Like a narcissism where they are so superior and I am lucky to get the chance to pay them. It seems like the money/payment gets their attention but then it is "charity" after to "keep" them and get them to finish the job.
If you have some extra time, Id love to hear other ppl's take on this.