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Posted over 7 years ago

Give Yourself a Better Chance.

     When I started investing I didn’t know REIAs (real estate investor associations) existed. When I discovered them it took years before I attended a meeting. I was successfully operating a rental portfolio—I had the secret sauce. Why would I share that with anyone? The more I learned about real estate investing, the more changes I saw (in markets, in regulations, etc.), the more strategies and techniques I was introduced to, the more I realized I didn’t know a great deal more than I thought knew. I didn’t have any secrets at all.

     I now attend several meetings each month. I am acquainted with many other investors who attend and am partners, even friends, with several. I try to make myself available to them when questions or situations arise. Many reciprocate and help me analyze deals or extend their advice when I need guidance. Attending REIA meetings has become an important part of my business. I find deals at meetings. (I have signed documents and have distributed large checks at multiple meetings.) I meet potential partners at meetings and catch up on what existing partners are doing. (Real estate is always evolving. Most of the active investors I know are continuously adjusting their practices to adapt to new situations or to anticipate developing situations.) I share my stories quite openly at these meetings. I have often negotiated deals in the large rooms and have had no problem allowing new potential investors to listen in. This is not just altruistic. Yes, some of it is to honor those who shared with me back when I thought I knew everything but many of those who are allowed to listen in to these detailed conversations are respectful and hungry to learn. Some end up being partners before very long. Some, but not all.

     Give yourself a chance to make a good impression. It is not difficult. Most of the members are interested in meeting you also. They wouldn’t be attending if they didn’t wish to meet more people. If they have allowed you to listen to their conversation there will usually be an opportunity to introduce yourself. Don’t interrupt the conversation; wait for the opportunity. There are those who come to these meetings determined to make an impression. They often succeed but if that impression is negative it can make doing business with the network much more difficult. I am reminded of the people who go around to every group forcing their business cards on everyone they can reach. The life expectancy of a business card is not very long in the best of circumstances. Those who distribute cards this way would probably be able to recover a good many of them from the trash cans at the end of the meeting. This is probably the best result they can hope for. Those who remember them will not be inclined to work with them. They will be best served if those they first contacted forgot them so they can try again new.

     I encourage you to be honest when presenting yourself. I know there are those who advocate the fake it ‘til you make it approach. That can be effective sometimes, but most of the experienced people you meet will know you are posing very quickly. They will not appreciate it. I recall a new attendee (fortunately for him, I do not remember his name) who was determined to meet me because someone told him I might be able to help with his deal. He introduced himself and his company while presenting his card. When he began to describe his deal he stated that "my partners and I had a deal”. He mentioned his partners in two of the next three sentences. Not knowing the company, I asked him about his partners. He reluctantly stated that he didn’t really have a partner, this was his deal. I assured him that was alright with me as I was just an individual myself. He continued describing his deal and continued to refer to his partners. I stopped him again to clarify who his partners were. Again he stated that they were not really partners. The third time he started—he again spoke of his partners. Now I stopped him, pointed out that he had lied to me approximately six times in three minutes by speaking about non-existent partners and that I had no desire to hear any more nor to work with someone who could not be honest with me. Now, my foil became indignant. He informed me that I wasn’t helpful and that he would tell the friends he came with that was so. I think I surprised him when I extended my hand, shook his, and thanked him—for if his friends were like him he was saving me a lot of time.

     When you come into a new group, take some time to listen to try to understand who the members are and what they contribute. Some of the most successful investors will be quiet—they are observers. They often dress casually and do not bring attention to themselves. They have no need to prove themselves to anyone, least of all a person unknown to them. I am often amused when someone who has attended a few meetings will loudly dismiss the group stating that they cannot find the type of contact they are looking for. (Most frequently, they are seeking funding for their deals, at low rates, even though the complainer brings little to nothing to their deal and doesn’t even understand their own deal very well.) There have been several occasions when I saw that the complainer was sitting next to one of the most successful private lenders in the room. The lender had no desire to reveal themselves—they probably already learned everything they needed to know about the complainer. The likelihood of a business relationship developing was extremely remote.

      Though it is unlikely those new to Bigger Pockets will see this post, much of what I speak of regarding conducting yourself when meeting people at REIAs also applies to those who are new to this site. Take advantage of the networking opportunities provided by REIA meetings and BP but take a moment to investigate the group, to listen, before barging in. Give yourself a better chance to succeed.



Comments (8)

  1. Excellent advice, Jeff! The incident concerning partners was of special interest and an excellent approach to avoid pretenders in the first place. 


    1. Thanks for your comment @Dmitriy Fomichenko.


  2. Thanks for the reminder.  It's definitely good to give to the community.  I am reminded of the book Give and Take by Adam Grant.  Often the ones who get the most out of a relationship or community are the ones who have been giving freely for a long time such that people in their network are eager to return the favor.


    1. @Natasha Keck,  I don't know the book but agree with your comment. Thanks for posting.


  3. Thanks for sharing this, Jeff!  I just attended our little local monthly meetup last night for the first time in months.  I can only handle so much of getting 'my brain picked' per year lol. I'm always glad I went afterwards though.  

    You are exactly right that the casually dressed and mellow guys and gals are often the most successful in the room.  Our final speaker as we got to 'seasoned investor' (moving up the stages of an avg investor 'career') was a nonchalant, casually-dressed decamillionaire investor and lender that was quietly hanging out.  I know him of course, but a new person never would have guessed if they left early.  His message:  money will follow the deal.  Don't get hung up on not having cash.  Buy when others are selling.  Sell when others are buying.  Be in the right place at the right time.  Be there because you are in the market all the time.  There are opportunities in every stage of the market cycle.  

    Just thought I'd share.  You're timing as always - is excellent!  

    Oh- I just wrote a simple blog post of investor meetups vs association meeting (I attended both) yesterday if you'd like me to share the link here.    It's not nearly as well-written as yours, Jeff!  Thanks again!


    1. You have written some nice blogs too. Thanks for your comment.


  4. Great post. Too many ignore this because they are blindly chasing "deals" 


    1. Thanks for the vote of confidence.