How To Get Billions–Yes, Billions–To Head Off Foreclosure & Buy That Flat Screen Deluxe Home Entertainment System, Too


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I have discovered the only sure fire way to avoid a foreclosure.

how to avoid foreclosure and get billions in bailout

If you do this, you will keep your house, never have to worry about another payment and—here’s the best part–have tons of money left over to play with—maybe take a trip or buy that new car or have that nose job you’ve been wanted all these years.

The secret is very simple really—-you MUST think big. I mean real BIG, just like the big three auto makers. (Hey, they don’t call them the “big” three for nothing you know!)

GM says it needs $4 billion this month to make it; Chrysler says it needs more like $7 billion. Heck, I say, just give them all the money in the treasury and we can stop talking about this mess.

But I am getting away from my main point here.

You must get up the nerve to just walk into your bank — or wherever you got your mortgage from — and demand billions of dollars while threatening to walk away from your home (screw that, threaten to burn it to the ground!) if you don’t get it.

No more of this small stuff — couple of hundred thousand my ass. You need to start asking for the big wads of money if you want to play in this new arena.

Now I know what you are saying . . . you’re saying, why would my bank just folk over billions of dollars to ME???

Again, real simple and another page from the auto makers’ playbook.

Go around your neighborhood. Get every family in or about to go into foreclosure to join-in—and then walk into your bank and demand billions and tell ’em, if they don’t give you the money, your entire town will default! That’s right, the whole damn town! Now you have crossed over into that prized territory within which you can command banks to do your bidding: You are now TOO BIG TO FAIL!

And, that is the key right there. You MUST become TOO BIG TO FAIL.

Once you do that, you will be amazed how easy it will be to get banks and other lending institutions to hand you money…in big,fat envelopes!!! With thank you notes inside.

Trust me on this folks. You think the car companies are stupid? No way. They just have learned that by coming together and making themselves TOO BIG TO FAIL, they have the entire US government by the short hairs. It works every time like a charm. It can work with your bank, too.

You just need to adopt it to your own situation.

So, let’s go through this step-by-step:

  1. Go house to house in your town or community and get every homeowner on the verge of foreclosure (which by now should be just about everyone) to agree to form an association.
  2. Armed with this, you and a few others from your town drop in at your fine banking institutions
  3. Look the bank executive right in the eye and simply say: We need $5 billion dollars to keep our homes.
  4. The bank executive will laugh at you for sure.
  5. This is when you surprise him with your secret weapon
  6. You don’t understand, you tell the bank executive, you MUST give us the money because, otherwise, every home in this town will go under.
  7. And here it comes…the big one….ready…..1, 2, 3…..
  8. We are just TOO BIG TO FAIL

Faster than you can say 6.5 percent interest, you will be holding a check in your hand worth billions of dollars. Pay your mortgage. Go on that cruise to Greece. Have that special dinner prepared by the Japanese chef who flies directly to your home from Japan and cooks just for you.

You deserve it. Your town deserves it.

YOU ARE TOO BIG TO FAIL, and don’t you ever forget it!

Photo Credit: Gastev

About Author

Charles is currently reporting for KNX Radio in Los Angeles, is the co-author of the book No Time To Think, and can be found commenting about the news on his blog, The Feldman Blog, as well as on The Huffington Post.


  1. Funny post, but you did touch on an important lesson that we can all learn from this whole thing – Think Big.

    Congress asked for $800B and got it. The auto dealers are following the same strategy knowing that they’re going to get opposition regardless of what amount they ask for. So,, they may as well start high and see what happens.

    The real estate investors here at Bigger Pockets should be inspired by your article. Good job!

  2. Glad folks liked the post—I’m starting to work on my even bigger theory now—How to get Trillions
    from your bank.
    And, soon to come, How To Get Another Country To Pay YOUR Mortgage!!
    I see one reply here appears to be from England…so we might as well start with that country.
    If you are facing foreclosure, send an email to Parliament and demand, in no uncertain terms, that the Queen sell the Crown Jewels and hand over the cash for YOUR mortgage.
    They always say we and the Brits have a “special relationship”–no time like the present to prove it!

    charles’s last blog post: The Father(Bill), The Son (Barack), And, The Holy Ghost (Hillary); Obama Picks Clinton For Sec Of State. No S–t! Sherlock.

  3. Well, as economist John Maynard Keynes famously said, “If you owe your bank a hundred pounds, you have a problem. But if you owe a million, it has.”

    That’s just the way it works, folks.

  4. Joshua I have to say that was a pretty damn interesting post. Too bad we as Americans could do something like this to actually pull it off. Not just the people in foreclosure either. Unfortunately it would never happen.

    That is why these companies are worth billions and are asking for billions. They got the balls to actually do it.


    • You’re completely right, Jim. We Americans used to know how to make noise, but now we just use the internet to speak out. Getting people in the streets was an effective ploy throughout our history. We’re too busy blogging to do that anymore.

      BTW – Credit for the post goes to Charles Feldman, the author.

  5. Ode to Credit

    Sung to the tune of “Oh little town of Bethlehem”

    Goodbye my precious Visa Card

    You brought me Christmas Cheer

    Without your clout, I have no doubt

    No gifts I’ll give this year

    Your credit line allowed me

    To run up bills quite large

    when I was through exhausting you

    I’d use my MasterCards.

    2nd verse

    Goodbye my precious credit line

    Now nothing have I spent

    I’ve lost my car, I’ve lost my job

    I cannot pay the rent

    My Bills are high, I just can’t pay

    I want to scream and shout!

    please write a check; send it to me

    I need a cash Bailout!

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