My mother had one that would accept and grind up shrimp shells with no problem, but would barf all over any fruit peels.  

Does anyone texture the drywall in their rentals with knockdown or orange peel?

Some landlords will bulk at replacing a window pane just because of a tiny crack in the corner or repainting a peeling window sill.  

Get some good rubber gloves (not optional) and googles, maybe even a mask?

., because what happens is the tenants try to mask over the problems. 

Where I live in Portland Oregon there are still people wearing Masks. 

Let me know what you are looking for and I'll keep my eyes peeled!

But peel-and-stick tile in the kitchen?

It's a far superior product to sheet vinyl and peel and stick vinyl products for a multitude of reasons.1) With most brands, you can't install it over an unconditioned space, it has to be climate controlled.

It is easy to hide behind neighborhood  statistics to mask poor management.