Getting Your Spouse Onboard with Real Estate Investing

Marriage is a team sport. I would not be stoked if my wife made unilateral decisions that affected both of us equally without at least talking to me about it first. Why should I do the same to her? 

Real Estate Investing involves a lot of commitment - a commitment of money, time and energy. I have sacrificed doing "fun" activities now in order to scrounge enough money up for my property purchases. I have spent hours reading books, listening to podcasts, watching webinars and interacting with other investors so that I can learn as much as possible to make wise decisions with our money. This whole journey is next to impossible if your spouse is not at least supportive of the decision to dive headfirst into Real Estate investing. I will share a few tips that worked with me when first getting the love of my life onboard with Real Estate. 

Be Honest - Share your goals and your "WHY."

It is very likely that the "why" has a whole heck of a lot to do with family. If we lead off with our goals and the main reason we want to begin investing, it makes the sacrifices that will come a lot easier to deal with. Sticking with the broad strokes during this first conversation is a must.  Diving right away into the math, prospective returns, and numerous niches and strategies are a surefire way to get your spouse to tune out. 

Don't make it only about the money.

No one gets into real estate to lose money. However, money isn't the most important thing in our lives. Make it about the good you will do by providing quality housing to people that otherwise couldn't afford a home. Make it about providing value to a mentor or picking up a mentee after you have gained the requisite experience. Finally, make it about an extension of your commitment to each other. Real Estate is a relationship game - and that relationship starts with the one at home. 

Get your partner involved in the process. 

If you can get your spouse to "buy in" to the investing process, they will feel like part of the team and have your back as you grow your new business together. BiggerPockets does a fantastic job talking about the importance of surrounding yourself with an awesome team to tackle problems in your business as they arise. Real Estate, like marriage, is also a team sport. Make your spouse part of your team and use their talents as an asset in an area of the business that 

Live a balanced life. 

Many of us use Real Estate investing to gain independence from the financial constraints surrounding the "typical" American middle class. We want to travel the world, or never miss a child's sporting event. However, it is easy to fall into the trap of "buying a job" instead of "buying an investment." It will be difficult to get (and keep) a spouse on board if you're replacing one 70 hour a week job for another 70 hour a week job. Build automation into your business so that you CAN walk away. Then go ahead and ACTUALLY walk away from it for periods of time so that you can enjoy these moments with your family. This is the area I personally struggle with the most. As a Type A personality, I am constantly seeking ways to grow and optimize both my personal financial life and my goals with real estate. Sometimes the opportunity cost of an investment is time with family...or a trip to Hawaii!