Let’s Hear it For the Mama Bears

In recent days, our minds and attention have been heavily drawn to Baltimore, MD, particularly the riots, burning and looting. One of the more vivid images is that of a mother spotting her son in a crowd of looters, singling him out and physically separating him from the crowd. That brief video of a "Mama Bear" protecting and chastening her "cub" went viral and for good cause. As one of the community leaders in Baltimore said, "If every parent would aggressively seek out their child and rein him/her in as she did, there would be no looting or burning."

On this Mothers' Day, I say "Kudos" to the Mama Bears out there who take responsibility for their own children and are proactive in teaching, correcting, molding and disciplining their off-spring. Certainly this is that special occasion to pay tribute to our mothers, but this year I would like to empower those mothers who may be reading this post or encourage the men out there to empower their spouses who are mothers. Motherhood is under attack in many forms in our society. Fifty years ago, the stay-at-home Mom was the norm. 

Today's Mom normally must work at least part-time if not fulltime to help the family make ends meet. Motherhood is postponed for a career, children are "scheduled" for later years and the ones who are born outside the plan spend sizeable portions of their formative years in pre-schools or with other child-care arrangements. The purpose of this blog is not to address any or all of these issues, but its purpose is to exalt these Moms who recognize the supreme importance of rearing the children they birthed and who do so with conviction and purpose and wisdom.

My hat is off to the modern mother who knows she has one chance at rearing her young and wants to get it right. And while the challenges on her may be dizzying, yet she finds a way to engage their lives and cast her shadow long upon them. There are no perfect parents; and thus, no perfect mothers, but there is that mother who strives with all her soul to be what her children need. Let me list a few of these admirable Mama Bear qualities:

1. A wise mother takes responsibilities for the children she births. Planned or unplanned, the right time or the wrong time, she knows they are hers. And Mama Bears don't shirk their responsibilities.

2. A wise mother knows how important Dad is to the children. Whether in the home or not, wise parents don't tear down each other before the kids. One of the greatest things a mother can do is to love her children's father. Parenting should be a team partnership.

3. A wise mother has a strong sense of moral rightness. There should be clear simple lines between right actions and wrong actions. No 50 shades of gray for children; just black or white.

4. A wise mother knows that good children don't just happen. Children are not good at all at rearing themselves. They need the daily loving attention and intervention that only a parent can provide.

5. A wise mother knows she won't reap the rewards of her parenting until her children begin parenting themselves. Good mothering requires delayed satisfaction. Certainly parenting can be most rewarding and enjoyable, but one does not see the "proof" of ones' parenting until much later.

Finally, good mothering deserves the recognition, reward and blessings of grateful children who understand they are not self-made and that regardless of any personal achievement, none of it would be possible without first an unselfish mother who made them a priority in her life.

Happy Mothers' Day to those who have the love, the courage, and the wisdom to know the great rewards of parenting.