Professional language, Not natural language.

Bar lesson #412: Use professional language, not natural language.

Professional language is tailored to a specific result. It strengthens your professional image. Natural language is what happens when you open your mouth and just let whatever's in there fly right out. Like opening a bottle of Champagne that's been shaken up before uncorking. You can be sure someone's going to get hit in the face.

I once heard a guest asking their waitress about a particular drink. The waitress responded with, “I don’t like it. Some people order it but I think it’s gross.” Wow! How little does that guest feel now for even THINKING about ordering that nasty, gross drink that only a loser would like? She might as well have just kneed her guest in the groin.

Yep, I was standing right nearby and much like in a bad dream, I heard it all unfolding but all I could do was stretch out my arm and yell out a long, slow-motion "Nooooooooooooooo!" In my head that's what I did anyway.

Because really? Who the heck cares about HER feelings? She's the professional expert, not the prom queen princess who the school kids look at to see what's "cool" this week. Did the guest even ask if she LIKED it? No. Time to put on the big kid pants. Forget about saying stuff just to feel good. That's a great rule, actually: If it gives you a sense of satisfaction to say it, don't say it.

Professional restaurant language: We don't clean the tables with a "rag", it's a "towel". The bathroom’s not “filthy”, it “needs attention”. You get the idea. What could she have said, even if she thought it was gross? “It’s good but my favorite is this one here. And I also love this other one, I just had it yesterday.”

Instead, she not only subconsciously assaulted her guest and his taste but what does the guest now remember about how she made him feel? His ego’s been deflated. So has her tip. And what's the likelihood he ever returned to that restaurant? And she exposed herself as an amateur. Thirteen little words did all that damage. Ouch.