BiggerPockets

I don't know if I've had a bad past couple of days, or if I'm just in a bad mood, but the pros I have been asking for help want money. It has really set me in a distressed spot.

I have asked for help from people that have made it, they are successful and have multiple properties, but they won't help me. I'm not talking about on here, I'm talking about in real life, off the computer, I have asked pros that I have met how they have done things to get off the ground and they just won't help me. Why do "mentors" want money from beginners so bad? If I were a real estate success, I would help the newbies out.

For instance, I asked someone how THEY built their buyers list. Their answer was that it was a secret. Do I need to pay these people for their help really?? Do I really need to make it on my own? I understand I need to do my own legwork, but I guess I just need some direction from a real life pro. Why are some people so disinterested in being helpful? I look up to these people and want to be like them, successful and busy and wealthy, and they just won't help me.

Do all mentors just want money? I feel discouraged. Sorry for the rant and the crying and whining, but I feel like I don't know where to go next. Is it up to me to make my own mistakes and go it alone??

Sigh. Love you guys at Bigger Pockets though. Thanks for everything. Sorry again for the whining.

Originally posted by Wayne Brooks:
The guys you are talking to, simply don't want to help their competition, as they see it. Keep digging. If you're whoesaling, other wholesalers will have this attitude. Look for experienced people on your buyers list, who might benefit from helping you along, especially if you give them "first look" on what you find.

I didn't think of it like that...that they are my competition.

A few things to consider:

- The successful investors are getting asked for help every single day. Multiple times per day. So, you're not the only one asking them for help, and if you don't have an relationship with them prior to your asking, you're just one of a hundred other guys who will be asking them this year.

Idea: Build a relationship first, then ask for help.

- 90% of those who ask for mentoring will quit before they're successful. So, those you are asking for help recognize that there's a 90% chance they'd be wasting their time by saying yes.

Idea: Prove that you're serious before you ask for help. Provide some indication that you're willing to stick with it (I like to see people who have gone out and gotten their real estate license, as that proves to me they're serious about the time and effort).

- 90% of those who ask won't have access to enough capital to do a deal. So, even if the successful investors taught everything they know, the student wouldn't have much chance of being successful.

Idea: Prove that you have access to capital. At least enough cash that you can get a hard money loan or access to a private investor.

- You're asking the successful investor to teach you how to compete against them. Why would they do that for nothing in return?

Idea: Prove that any success you have will result in more success for them. Always couch every discussion in how it will help the investor, not how it will help you. Offer your services for free during the mentoring, and be willing to do grunt work.

J Scott, and the others, give some excellent advice.

Some other things to consider. Offer to buy them lunch and ask general questions. Bring a potential "deal" to them, (without an address), and ask them to critique the deal. Compliment them about their success, most successful folks like to have their ego's stroked! Offer to "bird dog" for them, bringing them a deal and instead of getting a "finders fee," tell them you would like to learn from them.

I suggest that you read "The Richest Man in Babylon", a short book easily readable in less than an hour, and see how he 'got started.'

I was having a hard time getting started finding people to help... I went and got my RE license but still most of the agents I was meeting were salesman who didnt understand my mentality. So then i decided i wanted to learn more about different aspects of RE so I went to foreclosure auctions and Tax Lien auctions. I noticed that some groups new each other... I started just listening to what people were saying and to see who knew what. I asked a few people but mostly they were stand offish and would not talk to me. Which i do get as they see me as one more potential competitor in a tough market.... But i did notice one guy there who was at many auctions that worked for the banks... Then one day I noticed his son buy a property (same name announced when they won the bid) So I said these are the guys i need to speak with. But once a foreclosure auction is done they kick you out unless you are the winning bidder. So I researched and found the name of there company and contacted them. Turns out they have a RE agency but also do investing both on there own and with investors... The potential perfect mentors. I am working on my first deal with them now and they have been super helpful.