Couch From Hell & Crying Newbies

Real Estate Broker · Cleveland Dayton Cincinnati Toledo Columbus & Akron, OH · Member since 2013 · 30k+ posts · 20k+ votes

Pulled this beautiful screenshot from the footage of a recent eviction we did in Cleveland. 🤮 Lol this couch from hell compelled me to make a public service announcement for all of those newbies out there on the forums.

Property Management is tough gig ya'll. Quit posting on the forums crying about how much money your Property Manager is charging you. Trust me, they are earning every penny.

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Dennis M.

Rental Property Investor · Erie, PA · Member since 2018 · 6k+ posts · 9k+ votes

the book I think that has hurt more than helped and I don’t mean to disrespecting Brandon is the book on buying property with no money down . Newbies take this as the gospel and as a license mentally to go 100% financing and never have to put in their own money in .theres a reason they call it “investing “. You gotta have something to invest guys . Your “core four “ ought to be four years of savings and researching not four professionals that do everything for you so you can relax ,sit on the sunny beach drinking long islands with Robert Kiyosaki

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Ian Gilligan
Rental Property Investor · Dayton, OH · Member since 2018 · 108 posts · 48 votes
7y
That's a good word right there.
3 Reply
Bill F.
Investor · Boston, MA · Member since 2015 · 1k+ posts · 3k+ votes
7y
@James Wise Totally normal, there is a cover on that couch. You are supposed to get it absolutely filthy, never clean it, and when you move out (voluntarily or not), you get a new one.
Plus PMs should be happy to do all this work and more for $200/month or less.
I'm quite frankly surprised you don't do it for free. Think about all the opportunities you get being part of so many out-of-state investors "team". That's worth its weight in gold man.
9 Reply
James Wise
OP
Real Estate Broker · Cleveland Dayton Cincinnati Toledo Columbus & Akron, OH · Member since 2013 · 30k+ posts · 20k+ votes
7y
Originally posted by @Bill F.:

@James Wise Totally normal, there is a cover on that couch. You are supposed to get it absolutely filthy, never clean it, and when you move out (voluntarily or not), you get a new one.
Plus PMs should be happy to do all this work and more for $200/month or less.
I'm quite frankly surprised you don't do it for free. Think about all the opportunities you get being part of so many out-of-state investors "team". That's worth its weight in gold man.
lol it truly is a glorious moment when we are given the privilege of being considered for a role on their team.
4 Reply
James Wise
OP
Real Estate Broker · Cleveland Dayton Cincinnati Toledo Columbus & Akron, OH · Member since 2013 · 30k+ posts · 20k+ votes
7y
Originally posted by @Ian Gilligan:

That's a good word right there.
POW POW
0 Reply
Michael Noto
Real Estate Agent · Southington, CT · Member since 2008 · 5k+ posts · 3k+ votes
7y
@James Wise People who complain about PMs making money have never managed property for any length of time themselves. They have no clue or perspective on what it is really like, I completely agree.
3 Reply
Caleb Heimsoth
Rental Property Investor · Durham, NC · Member since 2016 · 7k+ posts · 7k+ votes
7y
@James Wise did the couch cause any damage to the property or was it just a dirty, nasty couch that needed to be removed?
I’m just curious what you charged the owner to remove it? To do it yourself is simple enough, but if you’re long distance, you can’t really do that.
Every time I hear a newbie talk about “building their team” or finding their “core four” *facepalm*, I always ask, what’s in it for your “team”?? The honor of working with you? Cmon man.
2 Reply
Dennis M.
Rental Property Investor · Erie, PA · Member since 2018 · 6k+ posts · 9k+ votes
7y
@Caleb Heimsoth
I like how newbies say they don’t do anything with their local investments themselves . The “ dream team” does it and they say they can better focus on “ finding deals”
3 Reply
Bill Kramer
Contractor · Evansville, IN · Member since 2019 · 142 posts · 208 votes
7y
I went to bid a flip last month. Walked up on the front porch and there were discarded paper suits, told my helper "It's about to get real, when we open this door."
I always carry a can of axe aerosol in the van, saved my butt more times than I can count haha
2 Reply
Tanner Marsey
Rental Property Investor · San Diego, CA · Member since 2017 · 439 posts · 578 votes
7y
People who complain about another person making money are so strange. Factor a PM into your numbers and let them do their job. If they do it well thank them and send them a gift card at Christmas time or something.
0 Reply
Tanner Marsey
Rental Property Investor · San Diego, CA · Member since 2017 · 439 posts · 578 votes
7y
@Caleb Heimsoth
That phrase and term sound so cheesy. What’s in it for them though.... money...? And as someone who is most likely about to buy a few out of state properties while this market settles (maybe) I expect to pay and am willing to pay a premium for decent service.
1 Reply
Caleb Heimsoth
Rental Property Investor · Durham, NC · Member since 2016 · 7k+ posts · 7k+ votes
7y
Originally posted by @Tanner Marsey:

@Caleb Heimsoth
That phrase and term sound so cheesy. What’s in it for them though.... money...? And as someone who is most likely about to buy a few out of state properties while this market settles (maybe) I expect to pay and am willing to pay a premium for decent service.
Money is the obvious choice but what if an agent shows you 30 properties and you don’t buy one? Are you going to pay them for that? Probably not. So you should do your research ahead of time, so you can act quickly.
1 Reply
James Wise
OP
Real Estate Broker · Cleveland Dayton Cincinnati Toledo Columbus & Akron, OH · Member since 2013 · 30k+ posts · 20k+ votes
7y
Originally posted by @Caleb Heimsoth:

@James Wise did the couch cause any damage to the property or was it just a dirty, nasty couch that needed to be removed?
I’m just curious what you charged the owner to remove it? To do it yourself is simple enough, but if you’re long distance, you can’t really do that.
Every time I hear a newbie talk about “building their team” or finding their “core four” *facepalm*, I always ask, what’s in it for your “team”?? The honor of working with you? Cmon man.
The couch was from an eviction.
1 Reply
Dawn P.
Rental Property Investor · Sumter, SC · Member since 2015 · 334 posts · 531 votes
7y
I don't even want to know what that is on the couch. It looks like a crime scene.
I watched that eviction video yesterday, @James Wise - what a mess! Savage is right...
1 Reply
James Wise
OP
Real Estate Broker · Cleveland Dayton Cincinnati Toledo Columbus & Akron, OH · Member since 2013 · 30k+ posts · 20k+ votes
7y
Originally posted by @Dennis M.:

@Caleb Heimsoth
I like how newbies say they don’t do anything with their local investments themselves . The “ dream team” does it and they say they can better focus on “ finding deals”
Hey man buying 1 duplex every 9 months is a full time job lol.
3 Reply
James Wise
OP
Real Estate Broker · Cleveland Dayton Cincinnati Toledo Columbus & Akron, OH · Member since 2013 · 30k+ posts · 20k+ votes
7y
Originally posted by @Dawn P.:

I don't even want to know what that is on the couch. It looks like a crime scene.
I watched that eviction video yesterday, @James Wise - what a mess! Savage is right...
Lol the camera guys were not happy about the smells they were exposed to that day, lol. They let me know all about it for like 3-4 days.
3 Reply
Jay HinrichsBusiness Member
Real Estate Consultant · Summerlin, NV · Member since 2014 · 45k+ posts · 66k+ votes
7y
Originally posted by @Bill Kramer:

I went to bid a flip last month. Walked up on the front porch and there were discarded paper suits, told my helper "It's about to get real, when we open this door."
I always carry a can of axe aerosol in the van, saved my butt more times than I can count haha
what are paper suits ? Oh I get it now like those that home inspectors wear.. my day job is buying extreme hoarder houses here in Oregon and demo ing them for new builds.. its simply incredible that filth some people live in.. most landlords that are beginners and were raised in what I would call a normal house in a normal state of cleanliness just cant imagine for 2 seconds the closest they come is watching the extreme hoarder TV show..
houses with small little tunnels running from room to room and 20 to 30 years of crap piled up 5 to 8 feet high on either side.
bed consisting of a open sleeping bag on top of 3 feet of discarded papers and whatever junk.. only thing you can see the actual floor is the shower .. its really insane.
while I don't see that as much with tenants they are just filthy day one but usually cant get to the extreme hoarder stage as they are evicted before they can get that far.. but live in filth yup..
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1 Reply
Jay HinrichsBusiness Member
Real Estate Consultant · Summerlin, NV · Member since 2014 · 45k+ posts · 66k+ votes
7y
Originally posted by @Tanner Marsey:

@Caleb Heimsoth
That phrase and term sound so cheesy. What’s in it for them though.... money...? And as someone who is most likely about to buy a few out of state properties while this market settles (maybe) I expect to pay and am willing to pay a premium for decent service.
keep in mind property management varies wildly by the asset YOU BUY.. not by the profession.. investors are doing this to themselves they are buying low end rentals that look great on paper but this is your tenant base.. not all but a fair amount.
you buy top shelf A class rentals in any market and property management is no where like this.. ONe of my friends in ORegon has a monster PM business but he only takes on larger complex's of B quality and above.. all his complex's the law requires on site manager.. his job is to hire and make sure the on site manager does a great job and does not steal the owner blind.. and for that he makes 4% and the owner pays the on site manager as an employee so there is no leasing fee's or any of the other add on's its one of the benefits of owner larger B class and above.. He has over 8,000 doors and well you can imagine is a very robust business for him.. his offices is basically all accounting.. and legal.. keeping up on the ever changing laws regarding rent controls and such that are sweeping the west coast states.
so its the investors who choose these tenants not the other way around.
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3 Reply
James Wise
OP
Real Estate Broker · Cleveland Dayton Cincinnati Toledo Columbus & Akron, OH · Member since 2013 · 30k+ posts · 20k+ votes
7y
Originally posted by @Jay Hinrichs:
Originally posted by @Bill Kramer:

I went to bid a flip last month. Walked up on the front porch and there were discarded paper suits, told my helper "It's about to get real, when we open this door."
I always carry a can of axe aerosol in the van, saved my butt more times than I can count haha
what are paper suits ? Oh I get it now like those that home inspectors wear.. my day job is buying extreme hoarder houses here in Oregon and demo ing them for new builds.. its simply incredible that filth some people live in.. most landlords that are beginners and were raised in what I would call a normal house in a normal state of cleanliness just cant imagine for 2 seconds the closest they come is watching the extreme hoarder TV show..
houses with small little tunnels running from room to room and 20 to 30 years of crap piled up 5 to 8 feet high on either side.
bed consisting of a open sleeping bag on top of 3 feet of discarded papers and whatever junk.. only thing you can see the actual floor is the shower .. its really insane.
while I don't see that as much with tenants they are just filthy day one but usually cant get to the extreme hoarder stage as they are evicted before they can get that far.. but live in filth yup..
Lol I like when you've got some greenhorn investor flipping out because he found out that the tenant is smoking inside of the apartment even though the lease says NO SMOKING! Then you send him a picture of a toilet like this & ask him if he really thinks the tenants care about his NO SMOKING policy. Lol It's great watching their view of the world change right in front of your eyes.
2 Reply
Brit Hale
Real Estate Agent · Joplin, MO · Member since 2018 · 112 posts · 96 votes
7y
@Bill F. THIS. As a realtor in an inexpensive market, I love being one of the “Core 4” for first time investors who want comps, offers, etc for a 30k property and backout when they find that in fact, it is a 30k property. #blessed to be on the team! Thank you for this post!
6 Reply
Brit Hale
Real Estate Agent · Joplin, MO · Member since 2018 · 112 posts · 96 votes
7y
@Jay Hinrichs totally agree. Maybe difficult for folks with large complexes or inherited tenants. We make our B area properties end up with A quality finishes and are selective with tenants. A majority of this type of thing can be avoided in my market.
The type of property and type of tenant go hand in hand. You want a 2%-4% deal? Cool, ROI through the roof, but you better expect to deal with issues, and pay your pm and contractor crew whatever they ask.
0 Reply
Caleb Heimsoth
Rental Property Investor · Durham, NC · Member since 2016 · 7k+ posts · 7k+ votes
7y
@Brit Hale cmon Brit it’s the fact you get to work with them that’s the real privilege!
I think the podcasts and books are great but I wish people wouldn’t take them all so literal.
So many people are like I read a book about long distance investing and now I’m looking for my “core four”.
I’ve been doing long distance investing for several years and I never had a “core four”. Lol
3 Reply
Dennis M.
Rental Property Investor · Erie, PA · Member since 2018 · 6k+ posts · 9k+ votes
7y
the book I think that has hurt more than helped and I don’t mean to disrespecting Brandon is the book on buying property with no money down . Newbies take this as the gospel and as a license mentally to go 100% financing and never have to put in their own money in .theres a reason they call it “investing “. You gotta have something to invest guys . Your “core four “ ought to be four years of savings and researching not four professionals that do everything for you so you can relax ,sit on the sunny beach drinking long islands with Robert Kiyosaki
10 Reply
Jay HinrichsBusiness Member
Real Estate Consultant · Summerlin, NV · Member since 2014 · 45k+ posts · 66k+ votes
7y
Originally posted by @Dennis M.:
the book I think that has hurt more than helped and I don’t mean to disrespecting Brandon is the book on buying property with no money down . Newbies take this as the gospel and as a license mentally to go 100% financing and never have to put in their own money in .theres a reason they call it “investing “. You gotta have something to invest guys . Your “core four “ ought to be four years of savings and researching not four professionals that do everything for you so you can relax ,sit on the sunny beach drinking long islands with Robert Kiyosaki
no money down investing was a thing before Brandon was born.. he just has a pulpit now to spread it to those who don't really know any better.
My Dad did this in the 60s and I grew up in it
IE the land business we sold thousands of parcels recreational parcels over 3 decades .. for as little as 50 down 50 a month.. LOL
all in CA.. many of the lots I sold as a fresh 18 year old agent sold for 900 to 2500 and today they are selling in the 30 to 75k range.. so I get it..
but that was what folks did in those days to get started in real estate they bought land.. the land boom from end of 1800s to mid 70s was huge.. think CA millions of platted lots especially inland empire high desert.. same with AZ NM Texas.. and of course the mother of them all Florida.. some of this stuff never went anywhere this is were you see guys like landgeek and stuff troll tax sales and buy low sell on terms..
Areas in Florida like Lehigh Acres 300k lots were platted and roads pushed in.. just google earth it.. you see mile after mile of roads and blocks its all grid and the farther out you get you will see a few houses per block.. and lots have been traded there for ever buy at tax sale sell to someone up north values 2 to 10k each even today.. Every state has them. I was a rep for a state of CA senator for the antiquated plat steering committee this was early 80s .. and we had a big conference in Ft. Myers and toured Lehigh.. issue is if all 300k of those lots got build on there is not enough infrastructure to handle traffic etc.. it would be grid lock.
this is why modern development is so tough.. we have to look out 100 years.. not just what can we do now.
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2 Reply
Jim K.
Handyman · Pittsburgh, PA · Member since 2018 · 5k+ posts · 13k+ votes
7y
Originally posted by @Bill Kramer:

I went to bid a flip last month. Walked up on the front porch and there were discarded paper suits, told my helper "It's about to get real, when we open this door."
I always carry a can of axe aerosol in the van, saved my butt more times than I can count haha
There's a hospital air freshener brand called Ozium. Check it out for the van, Bill.
My thing is the guys with the extravagant facial hair, the really big beards, talking about getting down and dirty in their own rehabs. I practically live in my respirator.
1 Reply
James De Stefano
Real Estate Agent · Houston, TX · Member since 2017 · 290 posts · 233 votes
7y
Originally posted by @Dennis M.:

the book I think that has hurt more than helped and I don’t mean to disrespecting Brandon is the book on buying property with no money down . Newbies take this as the gospel and as a license mentally to go 100% financing and never have to put in their own money in .theres a reason they call it “investing “. You gotta have something to invest guys . Your “core four “ ought to be four years of savings and researching not four professionals that do everything for you so you can relax ,sit on the sunny beach drinking long islands with Robert Kiyosaki
You've been reported to Brandon and prepare for your account to be Terminated within 24 hrs. LOL.
Agreed with all the posts about ppl who live in filth and are hoarders. It's likely the environment they grew up in, but it's sad all the same. Opportunity, yes. But still rough thinking families have to be in that as well.
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