Hell Has Blue Carpet

Why?  Why? Why?

I just don't understand.  The math doesn't work.  It should be embarrassing.  I have taught classes, preached, and sometimes begged...yet the blue carpet sin is still committed.  

If you don't know what this is - good! I will still explain.  Blue carpet falls into the same black hole of landlording shame as other atrocities such as mystery paint and nicotine-tinted switch plates. Basically, they are strange things landlords do to save a couple of bucks that are really cheap, lazy, and most bizarre - ineffective.

These  are super cheap fixes that landlords will insist on doing to save anywhere from 30 cents to $30, but that cost hundreds of dollars monthly in lowered rents and vacancy.

This is the guy you see in the hardware store with a satisfied smirk that would make the Grinch blush as he wheels away a cart of various size cans of "oops" paint and carpet scraps so that he can feel the excitement of mixing those cans together late at night to come up with an unprecedented color of brown mystery for his rental. He will then move on to making a patchwork quilt carpet.  Why?  Because he sadistically and irrationally enjoys the instant gratification of counting those coins, seeing that color change, and piecing those scraps.... all to the misery of his property manager (assuming he even spent the money to hire one) that he isn't listening to.

This will save maybe $50 bucks and that is somehow satisfying to these beings, but what they do not find satisfying (and yet will blame on everyone but themselves) is the vacancy when all the other properties around are likely cheaper or the same price with modern paint and floors that match!  

Don't be this guy.  I am sure it is tempting, but take up golf or antique shopping.  Do not paint your rental a dog poo color.  The paint being "new" doesn't make up for the fact that it is ugly as seven hells!  No one renting today wants blue carpet.  Okay.....I am sure there is someone, but that person is .00000001% of today's renter pool.  Stop.  Just stop.

Spend an extra $2/gallon and buy something suggested by your property manager or that you can find in a new construction listing at least.  Do not mix up some weird color.  Please please stop.  You are not just hurting society, you are hurting your pockets.  

Tenants today are savvy and they have tons of online access to research options.  They are going to skip right over yours if you do not seem to care enough to paint a decent color or match your flooring.   Do not spend time and money painting then leave switch plates and outlet covers that cost about 50 cents each that have turned yellow.  You effectively just ruined your entire paint job and dated your rental 20 years.  

Don't let me get on how silly carpet is in a rental under $1500 per month.  I will save that for another blog, but for the sake of all that is good....even if you insist on using carpet...use a neutral color.  Buy it in the appropriate size.  

I know that in some people's overly practical mind this shouldn't matter because it is "functional", but this is a marketing industry.  It absolutely does matter.  Part of this industry is understanding the consumer.  Spending a few extra cents on nice clean switch plates can change the entire look of a room.  You may not see it, but I promise the tenants do!  

You will make way more money and have way less vacancy if you learn WHEN AND HOW to APPROPRIATELY cut corners and using blue carpet, dirty outlet covers on a freshly painted wall, or hippopotamus water brown paint isn't how you do it.  

You're welcome!