Negotiate Anything You Desire in 4 Easy Steps

 By Derek A Smith aka Doctor Negotiator 

Do you know what these five things have in common? Homes, marriage, vehicles, flights, pay raises.

Getting what you want is what successful negotiations is all about. The car, the raise, the girl, the house. But you do not have to be ruthless or selfish to get them. Successful negotiation involves something deeper.

Here are the 4 steps you need to make you a successful negotiator.

Step #1 – Build rapport

There is always another person on the other side of the negotiating table and to be successful with your negotiation that person needs to like you, at least for a little while. If you want to walk away with what you want they need to trust you.

• Mirror body language.  If the other party, or parties, is leaning back in his chair with his hands folded you should mirror him and do the same. If she is standing with her hands on her hips, you should do that too. If they are drinking coffee you should drink something as well.  Mirroring them makes them feel comfortable.  Just don’t be too obvious about it.

• Look into his eyes. Untrustworthy people or shady and insecure folks avoid eye contact. They stare at the ceiling, the wall or out the window, but rarely do they look at the other party. This will cause that person to distrust you. No one wants to deal with someone they cannot trust. And worst, if you are insecure, they may try to take advantage of you. When I was a special agent I was thaught that when a person looks up and to the right they are lying becuase that is the creative side of the brain and they are making up a story.  If a person looks up and to the left, they are telling the truth because that is the recall side of the brain and they are remembering.

• Mimic their voice. Is the other negotiator soft spoken? Then you should lower your voice. Does he talk fast? Then speed up your speaking pace to match his. Does she avoid using foul language? Then you must do the same. Match the other negotiators speed, tone and flavor to make them like you even more.

Know Both Position and Interest of the Other Party

Roger Dawson, the king of negotiation, says that it is very important to know the negotiator’s position on the subject of the negotiation. However, also knowing their interests takes the game to a whole new level. Let me explain. Imagine you are negotiating a real estate deal.

Position trades in the mechanics of a negotiation: “I need to sell my house. I want $90,000 for it.” Interest trades in the why: “I just re-located for a job in an economically depressed region of the United States. I have eight children and my wife has cancer.

You, as a real estate investor, are no longer trying to help them sell their house. You are trying to help them make life easier for this struggling family.

Take the time to understand both the position and interests. or the "why", of your clients and you can get what you want from the negotiation.

Get on the Same Page

When two people are not on the same page it often leads to failure to reach a satisfying conclusion. You are thinking about buying the house right now while the seller is thinking about moving, where to go and getting as much as he possibly can for their home.

The two of you will not come to a satisfactory conclusion unless you both get on the same page.

If you find yourself in this situation, try to help that person on their level. Suggest that you will help them think through their situation, and when you are both satisfied, then you both will talk about completing the sale.

Overcome Objections with Conditions

Even after all that hard work the other negotiator still may resist closing the deal. One or two red flags still nag them and it us up to you to lessen their concerns with a condition.

For example, if your client is holding off on the deal because of moving expenses, instead of losing the deal, suggest something like this: “If I can help you with moving expenses will you accept my offer right now?”

Conclusion

Negotiations are really not that hard. In fact, developing a relentless curiosity about what the other person needs will actually make the negotiations fun and simpler.  Look at it as if you are figuring out a complex puzzle.

Derek A. Smith is an expert at negotiations.  He has completed doctorial work in organizational leadership and conflict resolution and has eight degrees including three master’s degrees, one an MBA and one in project management.   Derek has taught negotiating and persuasion skills for over 20 years to thousands of individuals while teaching graduate and undergraduate business students at a number of universities, colleges, and private institutions. In the Air Force and Army  he honed his negotiation and persuasion skills as an undercover narcotics agent, counterintelligence agent, and Army interrogator.   His successful military career led to his becoming a senior special agent for four government agencies, including the Defense Intelligence Agency, US Treasury, and Postal Service.  He has perfected his skills working as  a Principle Senior Consultant for such companies as Booz Allen Hamilton, Computer Sciences Corporation, and Robert Half Technology. Derek is currently building successful real estate investing and success coaching businesses.  

To learn more or to contact Derek go to http://massiveactionsuccesscoaching.com/ 

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