I've noticed that everybody in real estate wants a bargain. We want to buy below market value and sell above it. Preferably to someone who hasn't figured out what the property is worth. Unfortunately, the other guy has exactly the same idea. And somehow, we're both convinced we deserve to win.

Investors love motivated sellers. Divorce, relocation, financial trouble, inherited property, an urgent need for cash. These are all wonderful opportunities. Unless, of course, you're the one getting divorced, relocating, or running out of money. Then it's a tragedy, and you hope somebody will show a little understanding.

There's something peculiar about how we think about our own circumstances. When somebody else needs to sell quickly, we call it market opportunity. When we need to sell quickly, we call it bad luck and wonder why nobody is offering us a fair price. Why do we expect the market to make exceptions for us?

I don't mean that people should be ashamed of looking for bargains. A buyer who can close quickly, pay cash, or take a difficult property off someone's hands may be providing exactly what the seller needs. And nobody is obligated to pay more than a property is worth simply because the seller is having a terrible year. But I wonder where we acquired this quiet conviction that we're somehow entitled to a better outcome than the next guy.

We expect our investments to appreciate, our businesses to prosper, and our plans to work out. We regard setbacks as temporary interruptions in the success story we're supposed to be living. Who promised us that story? Nobody guaranteed us a happier life, a bigger bank account, or even enough time to enjoy either one. And yet we negotiate as if the universe owes us a favorable closing statement.

I include myself in this. I like a good deal as much as anybody. And when things go wrong, I'm probably just as tempted to regard my own misfortune as a special case. But perhaps the seller across the table feels exactly the same way.

Maybe neither of us deserves a bargain. Maybe we're simply two people with different needs, trying to agree on a price. Sometimes one of us has the stronger negotiating position. Sometimes circumstances reverse it. And sooner or later, most of us discover what the other side of the table feels like.

So here's my question. If I believe I'm entitled to profit from somebody else's difficult circumstances, am I equally prepared to accept that somebody might profit from mine? Or do I secretly believe the rules should change when it's my turn to lose?