Here is the situation. My 4 yr girlfriend and I are moving back to an area where I own a house outright. It is currently rented, and my intent if I kept it as a rental was to cash out the equity as it is worth about 150k. We used to live there together several years ago. She wants us to either buy a place together, or let her buy half the rental house and we live in it. I thought about the idea of quit claiming her on deed and then letting her get a cash out refi as an owner occupant for her half which she would just give me. Is that a feasible way to do the transaction?
@Charlie MacPherson Marriage does increase someone's likelihood of staying with someone that they resent and grow to despise with time, but feel obligated to stay with. I personally would rather have someone stay with me out of choice, not obligation. Apparently you would rather the opposite. It is quite possible your wife has wanted out for 38 yrs but due to moral or religious obligation, she stays with you. Or I could be wrong, but only your wife will EVER know.
On the topic at hand, I have no problem having something written up showing we each are 50% owners of the property, and if in the future we feel we would be happier not together, sell and divide. My question, of which you, Charlie, have been no help, is how to do that asset split now. How to sell her half the equity.
This some suspect/millennial-ish if I've ever heard it.
So in summary: We have gotten to the point where OP is scrutinizing a 39-year-long marriage, and talking about feelings, choices and obligations, after asking internet strangers about selling HALF a house (what the actual F) to someone who could walk away whenever they feel like it just cause they find someone cooler than he? Triggered when there was a legitimate response which was more logical than the ridiculous question to begin with. She doesn't want to pay rent, but instead wants to buy a place together? Even if it means paying for half a property that you already own? Huh? We all know how this one is going to end...
*grabs popcorn*
A dating couple is more likely to "split up" and end their relationship (business and personal) than any of those you mentioned above. Not that funny.
Are you saying you are a statistical exception because you have been in a relationship of 4 years? Is that what is changing the circumstance here? If marriage does not, then why would dating?
You said it first in your title and again later, but it sounds like the question you meant to ask is how to split equity with anyone (and you did receive your answer).
So because we decide to treat our living and living expenses as if it were an equity split in a business, you feel the need to be a jerk. Nice form.
No. You got butt hurt because you didn't like the logical answers that were provided to you.
This is comical. Any logical person would say you are crazy if you sell "half a house" (I agree what the actual F) to a girlfriend.
There's a reason she is still your girlfriend and not your wife. I would say absolutely do NOT let her have part of the house. If anything go buy a new one together like others have suggested. Also if you ever decide to actually commit to one another and get married then I also recommend getting a pre-nup and keep that house for yourself.
So it is ok to buy another house evenly but not this house? OK? Also it is interesting that you say if we "ever decide to actually commit to one another" and they you recommend a pre-nup, clearly showing non-commitment.
I am so enjoying that this thread has ruffled so many feathers.
A dating couple is more likely to "split up" and end their relationship (business and personal) than any of those you mentioned above. Not that funny.
Are you saying you are a statistical exception because you have been in a relationship of 4 years? Is that what is changing the circumstance here? If marriage does not, then why would dating?
You said it first in your title and again later, but it sounds like the question you meant to ask is how to split equity with anyone (and you did receive your answer).
So because we decide to treat our living and living expenses as if it were an equity split in a business, you feel the need to be a jerk. Nice form.
You called out a fellow forum member for being successfully married because you had unnecessarily brought up that you were in a relationship for 4 years (cute maybe in high school, but not even relevant to this business deal), and you're out here splitting up assets like you're already divorced and somehow I'm the jerk?
Lemme guess, you already asked her to marry you and she said nu-uh. Why you mad at me for that? (Okay, maybe I am the jerk now.)
A dating couple is more likely to "split up" and end their relationship (business and personal) than any of those you mentioned above. Not that funny.
Are you saying you are a statistical exception because you have been in a relationship of 4 years? Is that what is changing the circumstance here? If marriage does not, then why would dating?
You said it first in your title and again later, but it sounds like the question you meant to ask is how to split equity with anyone (and you did receive your answer).
So because we decide to treat our living and living expenses as if it were an equity split in a business, you feel the need to be a jerk. Nice form.
You called out a fellow forum member for being successfully married because you had unnecessarily brought up that you were in a relationship for 4 years (as if it's somehow even relevant here), and you're out here splitting up assets like you're already divorced and somehow I'm the jerk?
Lemme guess, you already asked her to marry you and she said nu-uh. Why you mad at me for that? (Okay, maybe I am the jerk now.)
I called out a fellow member for making false assumptions just as I called out you for the same thing. But this is the internet and a random forum so you can act that way without repercussions that you would not have the guts to say in real life.
Is this the same guy from the post last week who knew everything because “he read a book”?
Can't be me. Books give me the shakes.
Is this the same guy from the post last week who knew everything because “he read a book”?
Can't be me. Books give me the shakes.
Yeah, what use would you have for books?
Is this the same guy from the post last week who knew everything because “he read a book”?
Can't be me. Books give me the shakes.
Yeah, what use would you have for books?
Finally, he speaks truth!
You got me. I got my medical degree from a thrift store after a dating couple split their assets cause one cheated on the other.
@Eric C. Do whatever you want bro. Why even get on here and ask for advice if you already have your mind made up?
@Eric C. Do whatever you want bro. Why even get on here and ask for advice if you already have your mind made up?
@jay was the only one that actually gave advice related to the question.
@Eric C. Do whatever you want bro. Why even get on here and ask for advice if you already have your mind made up?
He's not actually going to go through with this. Takes cajones even when making a poor decision.
Made for an entertaining Saturday though on a really uneventful on-call day at the hospital.
@Eric C. Do whatever you want bro. Why even get on here and ask for advice if you already have your mind made up?
He's not actually going to go through with this. Takes cajones even when making a poor decision.
I travel a lot for rock climbing? Maybe we should meet up one day. I will be heading back to CO from TN this week, so if you happen to be in an area that isn't too far out of the way, let me know.
@Eric C. Do whatever you want bro. Why even get on here and ask for advice if you already have your mind made up?
He's not actually going to go through with this. Takes cajones even when making a poor decision.
I travel a lot for rock climbing? Maybe we should meet up one day. I will be heading back to CO from TN this week, so if you happen to be in an area that isn't too far out of the way, let me know.
No thanks. I'm married, bro.
@Eric C. Do whatever you want bro. Why even get on here and ask for advice if you already have your mind made up?
He's not actually going to go through with this. Takes cajones even when making a poor decision.
I travel a lot for rock climbing? Maybe we should meet up one day. I will be heading back to CO from TN this week, so if you happen to be in an area that isn't too far out of the way, let me know.
No thanks. I'm married, bro.
I assumed as much. But more so, you like to just make anonymous rude comments online without being able to back them up. Must be that lack of cajones.
@Carol C. @Jay Hinrichs @Lauren B. Thanks for your helpful inputs. Much appreciated.
Eric
You should really spend some time with a lawyer. Take a break up out of the equation, and you still have life on life’s terms. There are many ways in which things could go south, for you and her.
But the lender only cares about one thing, a mortgage payment. If for whatever reason she (or you) want out (or forced out), then you have a big mess on your hands.
Absolutely, and no different than when two people, married or not, buy a house together anyway.
As a divorce attorney, I completely agree with not mixing pre- and post- marital assets. Get married first, then combine assets. It's not pessimism, it's just good advice.
@Aaron Hunt Don't scrutinize my relationship commitment and I will not point out hypocrisy when I see it. If more than 50% of mortgages ended in foreclosure, would everyone advocate buying rather than renting? There are plenty of unhappy longtime marriages where one or both parties are miserable but because they are "married" they stick it out.
So, you came on BP to ask how to mix RE/business with your relationship, and you don't want us to scrutinize one vs. the other? Oh, the hypocrisy or is it irony?
"Selling half a house to a significant other"
Why even mention that she is your girlfriend (very specifically, of 4 years)/significant other, or whatever [insert non-committal hipster terminology which doesn't fit the mold]?
You have no legal, religious, ethical, or moral obligation to her apparently and you can both walk away anytime. Sell the house and casually walk away as if you just sliced a loaf of bread in half.
Just ask everyone here how to sell half a house to a complete stranger, because frankly it's the exact same thing (your words in a nutshell).
FYI if you're in a common law marriage state your assets might be at risk...
As a divorce attorney, I completely agree with not mixing pre- and post- marital assets. Get married first, then combine assets. It's not pessimism, it's just good advice.
I am not disagreeing, I am just trying to understand why this is considered mixing assets, rather than a transaction. Given there would be documentation as to the ownership rights of the property, no different than any other business partnership, there would not be a mixing of assets. Marriage would be combining assets, this would not. She would have her equity in the property, and I would have mine....All spelled out on paper. Sure, things could happen and we might have to sell the property to divide the assets....but in the grand scheme of things, that is no big deal.
@Aaron Hunt Don't scrutinize my relationship commitment and I will not point out hypocrisy when I see it. If more than 50% of mortgages ended in foreclosure, would everyone advocate buying rather than renting? There are plenty of unhappy longtime marriages where one or both parties are miserable but because they are "married" they stick it out.
So, you came on BP to ask how to mix RE/business with your relationship, and you don't want us to scrutinize one vs. the other? Oh, the hypocrisy or is it irony?
"Selling half a house to a significant other"
Why even mention that she is your girlfriend (very specifically, of 4 years)/significant other, or whatever [insert non-committal hipster terminology which doesn't fit the mold]?
You have no legal, religious, ethical, or moral obligation to her apparently and you can both walk away anytime. Sell the house and casually walk away as if you just sliced a loaf of bread in half.
Just ask everyone here how to sell half a house to a complete stranger, because frankly it's the exact same thing (your words in a nutshell).
FYI if you're in a common law marriage state your assets might be at risk...
Or her assets might be at risk....everyone is assuming that I have the greater net worth just because I own this particular house outright.
As a divorce attorney, I completely agree with not mixing pre- and post- marital assets. Get married first, then combine assets. It's not pessimism, it's just good advice.
I am not disagreeing, I am just trying to understand why this is considered mixing assets, rather than a transaction. Given there would be documentation as to the ownership rights of the property, no different than any other business partnership, there would not be a mixing of assets. Marriage would be combining assets, this would not. She would have her equity in the property, and I would have mine....All spelled out on paper. Sure, things could happen and we might have to sell the property to divide the assets....but in the grand scheme of things, that is no big deal.
What if one of you doesn't want to sell the property?
As a divorce attorney, I completely agree with not mixing pre- and post- marital assets. Get married first, then combine assets. It's not pessimism, it's just good advice.
I am not disagreeing, I am just trying to understand why this is considered mixing assets, rather than a transaction. Given there would be documentation as to the ownership rights of the property, no different than any other business partnership, there would not be a mixing of assets. Marriage would be combining assets, this would not. She would have her equity in the property, and I would have mine....All spelled out on paper. Sure, things could happen and we might have to sell the property to divide the assets....but in the grand scheme of things, that is no big deal.
What if one of you doesn't want to sell the property?
Oh, you're SO RIGHT. If we were married and bought a place together, and then one wanted to sell, and the other one didn't, that would solve everything. Thanks for coming back into the discussion. I missed your wisdom and insight.