@James McGovern...sorry about your son's experience, from the both the lending side, and the broker side. I can only speak from my experience as a mortgage broker, but it sounds like your son found the wrong sources, and should probably stick with the said family office that he has in his pocket. They sound like a good fit. It also seems like there wasn't transparency with the other lenders and/or brokers he worked, or tried to work, with. Your son shouldn't have experienced any of the things he did, even if he was to work with an institutional-backed lender. Sounds like lack of transparency and inexperienced loan officers/processors/etc.
As a broker myself, I would agree that there are many of us in the industry that really don't know what we're doing, especially when it comes to private/hard money. I've been in this space a long time - about 15 years, with true private/hard money (a lot of the deals I do in CA are funded by either one or multiple individual investors). I believe it's important to understand where the funds are coming from, so you don't misrepresent, and so the client understands. Some don't care (as long as the deal is getting done) and some do. In my arena, I fund deals with different types of lenders on the private side - debt/hedge funds, private individual investor/groups, family offices, and then institutional (backed by other debt funds/life-co/banks/etc.).
Thanks for the read and the share. I hope it helps those who are able to read it.