Tenant Applicants say the dumbest things

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Tenant Applicants say the dumbest things

Robin Grimes
Real Estate Investor · Houston, TX · Member since 2010 · 37 posts · 326 votes

Stupid things Tenant Applicant’s say.

I had renovated a nice 4/3/2 and put it on the market for lease. Here are some of the comments from people who toured the property during the open house or called me from signage.

#1
Young single mother with 3yr old in tow. “My boyfriend will be paying the rent, he said to just go find a place, but I want to rent it in my name, so it will be mine alone.”
I’m thinking: I’m not renting to someone without the verified income to pay the rent. Sorry but a promise from a boyfriend just won’t do.
I’m saying: Here’s a rental application. The application fee is $25 but you should know that I will need to verify income and whoever is paying will need to be on the application and lease.

#2
Middle aged couple with no kids. Wife says “I don’t like the wood floors. If you can put down carpet and repaint to something brighter, we’d be interested. Also you will need to replace the stove.”
I’m thinking: The wood floors are new laminate that I just spent $1400 and two days installing. The paint is all new also. If you want to remodel a house, go buy one yourself.
I’m saying: Here’s a rental application. The application fee is $25. The property is being rented in its newly remodeled condition.

#3
Family. Made appointment and met me at house. Husband says “I need a 3 car garage.”
I’m thinking: The 2 in 4/3/2 stands for TWO car garage. Plus the photos show it’s a two car garage, so why are you here wasting my time and yours? Did you think I was hiding a third garage bay in the back yard?
I’m saying: Here’s a rental application. The application fee is $25. This house only has a two car garage.

#4
Very young guy, young 20’s maybe, called me from sign in yard. He’s parked at house. Says: “ I need a big place for my girlfriend and our 3 month old since we want to have more kids. Could you help me out and rent it to me for $xxx” (about ½ the rental rate).
I’m thinking: So you’re requesting that I contribute half your rent so you can have more kids that you can’t house and support.
I’m saying: I’m happy to provide an application. The application fee is $25. Sorry the rental rate is firm.
.

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Don KonipolBusiness Member
Investor · The Woodlands TX / Avon, CT · Member since 2009 · 6k+ posts · 10k+ votes
14y

Last year I was renting a high end high rise condo - rent $1800 per month. A guy asked if I could give him the first 6 months free and waive the security deposit, after he found a job he would make double payments the second 6 months.

Had a tenant a few years back that signed a 12 month lease. always paid her rent on time. The lease of course becomes a month to month if she stays on. I asked her if she desired to renew the lease at expiration, or would she be moving. She said that since she fullfilled her lease obligation by paying 12 months rent she would stay on. She honestly believed that once she paid 12 months rent the apartment was hers for free for as long as she wanted!

But the best one was the tenant that always had an excuse for late rent. One month he told me he had sent the check in on the 2nd, of course I had not received it by the 5th. When I did receive it it was dated the 6th. Called the tenant and told him if he was going to lie at least pre date the check.
The next month I send the tenant an invoice for the rent, late fee, plus $250. The tenant calls and asks what the additional $250 is for. I told him it was a "lying fee". A couple days later I received the rent, late fee, and an additional $500. Called the tenant to ask why he sent an additional $500. He said he knew he would lie to me again in the future so he was prepaying an additional lying fee! BTW, although he is no longer a tenant and hasn't been for some time, he is now a friend. The entertainment value of this guy far outweighted the aggravation.

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  • Rich Schmidt
    Investor · Valparaiso, IN · Member since 2011 · 103 posts · 65 votes
    11y
    Originally posted by @Matthew Paul:

    I showed a 2 bedroom today , the applicant liked the place and asked " how much are the utilities ? "  I told her right now they are $ 25.00 a month but the unit is empty . She said " Great , so my utilities wont be that much more "   Sure , as long as you dont wash or dry clothes , use hot water , watch tv or cook , you wont be paying much more . 

    I always try to have a more meaningful answer for that question. Around here, it's a simple matter of calling the utilities and asking what the average bill has been over the past 12 months. It doesn't do the tenant any good to know what the utilities are when the unit is empty. 

    7Reply
  • Matthew Paul
    Severna Park, MD · Member since 2013 · 7k+ posts · 7k+ votes
    11y
    Originally posted by @Rich Schmidt:
    Originally posted by @Matthew Paul:

    I showed a 2 bedroom today , the applicant liked the place and asked " how much are the utilities ? "  I told her right now they are $ 25.00 a month but the unit is empty . She said " Great , so my utilities wont be that much more "   Sure , as long as you dont wash or dry clothes , use hot water , watch tv or cook , you wont be paying much more . 

    I always try to have a more meaningful answer for that question. Around here, it's a simple matter of calling the utilities and asking what the average bill has been over the past 12 months. It doesn't do the tenant any good to know what the utilities are when the unit is empty. 

    Thats a good thing , but the house sat empty for 7 years prior .   i have a 1 bedroom that I rent , a single guy lived there and his bill was less than $90 a month . The next tenant was a young woman , she complained that something was wrong with the electric her bills were close to $ 200 .  The previous tenant was a guy , he didnt bake , had work uniforms( little laundry)  , didnt keep the place 80 degrees , and was bald , no hair to dry .  So average bill doesnt mean much 

    0Reply
  • Andrew SyriosPro Member
    Moderator
    Residential Real Estate Investor · Kansas City, MO · Member since 2014 · 10k+ posts · 5k+ votes
    11y

    We used to advertise in the Thrifty Nickel, which is just the cheap classified ads paper in Kansas City. Lord did we get some interesting people calling us to rent. We would ask if they had any evictions and we always seemed to get the same answer, "I got the money, so what does it matter." Indeed, "I got the money" kind of became a joke around our office for a while.

    Needless to say, we don't advertise in that paper anymore.

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    0Reply
  • Account Closed
    Property Manager · Big Bear Lake, CA · Member since 2013 · 585 posts · 330 votes
    11y

    A lady called to ask when she could see a house I have for rent. I told her it currently has tenants in it, so we will have to schedule a showing around the tenants. Stupid question of the day: "Will the tenants be moving out?" 

    I so badly wanted to say: "No, lady, you will be moving in with them".

    10Reply
  • Marcia Maynard
    Investor · Vancouver, WA · Member since 2013 · 3k+ posts · 4k+ votes
    11y
    Originally posted by @Matthew Paul:
    Originally posted by @Rich Schmidt:
    Originally posted by @Matthew Paul:

    I showed a 2 bedroom today , the applicant liked the place and asked " how much are the utilities ? "  I told her right now they are $ 25.00 a month but the unit is empty . She said " Great , so my utilities wont be that much more "   Sure , as long as you dont wash or dry clothes , use hot water , watch tv or cook , you wont be paying much more . 

    I always try to have a more meaningful answer for that question. Around here, it's a simple matter of calling the utilities and asking what the average bill has been over the past 12 months. It doesn't do the tenant any good to know what the utilities are when the unit is empty. 

    Thats a good thing , but the house sat empty for 7 years prior .   i have a 1 bedroom that I rent , a single guy lived there and his bill was less than $90 a month . The next tenant was a young woman , she complained that something was wrong with the electric her bills were close to $ 200 .  The previous tenant was a guy , he didnt bake , had work uniforms( little laundry)  , didnt keep the place 80 degrees , and was bald , no hair to dry .  So average bill doesnt mean much 

    It would mean something to the person who is trying to gauge housing costs and whether they can afford the unit. I let prospective tenants know to budget $100 a month for utilities for our two bedroom apartment units and $200 for our small houses, as that will generally cover it. But I also let them know it could be lower or higher depending on their usage. This works well as an estimate in our temperate locale. I also let the tenants know how well the unit is weatherized/insulated, as that plays a factor.

    2Reply
  • Kimberly H.
    Residential Real Estate Broker · Chicago Suburbs, IL · Member since 2013 · 1k+ posts · 594 votes
    11y

    Someone has texted me three times over the past couple days in Spanish. After the 2nd I thanked them for their interest but told them we only speak English. Got a third Spanish text anyway soon after. Out of curiosity tried a couple online translation websites but only a few words could even be translated which were the only ones I already knew anyway, casa and chica.

    1Reply
  • Rich Schmidt
    Investor · Valparaiso, IN · Member since 2011 · 103 posts · 65 votes
    11y
    Originally posted by @Kimberly H.:

    Someone has texted me three times over the past couple days in Spanish. After the 2nd I thanked them for their interest but told them we only speak English. Got a third Spanish text anyway soon after. Out of curiosity tried a couple online translation websites but only a few words could even be translated which were the only ones I already knew anyway, casa and chica.

     If you post them here, I bet someone could translate them for you. :)

    0Reply
  • Kimberly H.
    Residential Real Estate Broker · Chicago Suburbs, IL · Member since 2013 · 1k+ posts · 594 votes
    11y

    @Rich Schmidt

     yeah, I thought of that or with my friends on FB...not sure I want to know...

    0Reply
  • George P.
    Property Manager · Livonia, MI · Member since 2011 · 4k+ posts · 1k+ votes
    11y

    the squirrel tenant is moving out. this is what she just texted "rats under porch. I cover ther hole yesterday, today new hole. For ur info."

    i will miss this nutbag.

    6Reply
  • Kimberly H.
    Residential Real Estate Broker · Chicago Suburbs, IL · Member since 2013 · 1k+ posts · 594 votes
    11y

    The ruse: single applicant puts on application living with FIL who owns and is losing home to foreclosure & bankruptcy and would need a translator to talk to FIL because he speaks very little English. Applicant marks "no" when applicant is asked if they have ever been through any foreclosure action, marks no for any bankruptcy action. Also says getting a divorce.

    The reality:quick check of current address in Realist and Cook County Recorder shows applicant is named on everything: deed, mortgage, Lis Pendens, etc. along with the person she called her FIL who appears to be her husband since they are down as "husband and wife" on the mortgage.

    1Reply
  • Matthew Paul
    Severna Park, MD · Member since 2013 · 7k+ posts · 7k+ votes
    11y

    I get something like this once or twice a month

    Hello. My name is xxxxxxxxx. I'm in search for a nice place to make a home for my husband, daughter and I. I came across your listing and im very interested! This looks like it has alot of potential and I know I'd make it a comfortable home. We are in need of a place as soon as possible. The home we're currently in, was kind of a last minute thing for us. We had a baby boy and he grew his angel wings at 8 weeks old. So the home we were in, I wasn't able to stay there any longer. It was too hard! Well, we moved here and about a week after doing so, we noticed severe back up in the tub, then the toilet, and it got worse and worse. Its horrible! ! We're unable to use our shower. We were told that the property manager had just purchaced the property soon before renting to us. They finally sent out a plumber and we were told thât there is no way of fixing it besides by tearing out the walls and floors to replace all of the plumbing. So, we agreed on signing off on the lease as well as recieving the security deposit back. Well, long story short, the home is really in foreclosure and the health department said that everything should have been done and fixed and that they will be shutting the home down. So we need a place as soon as possible. We are very good, honest, quiet tenants with a great personality! We keep to ourselves. I have a daughter that's absolutely amazing! I'm truly blessed. But, Id love to speak with you and pray to get the chance to see and maybe even get to be your tenant. I promise, I take VERY good care of my home! If you have a chance, please contact me at your earliest convenience. You can either email me, or call or text me at xxxxxxxxxxx. Thanks again and I look forward to hearing from you. 

    xxxxxxxxxxxxx

    My reply was ,  Thanks for inquiring , we will be having showings this weekend on sunday morning .  We do a credit check , background check , and need income verification . And since you mentioned it , we will also need your landlords info and the person at the health dept to verify these conditions . 

    Havent heard back yet 

    4Reply
  • Stephen E.
    St Thomas, Ontario · Member since 2013 · 575 posts · 408 votes
    11y

    Tenant applicant comes in and views the unit; she likes it very much. We sit down and start going over an application form. We come to employer, and she says she does not work and is on welfare. How about previous employer, I ask. She says she has been on welfare for over eight years now. What is your income, I ask. She says she doesn't know. Rent on the unit it $1,119 / month. Needless to say the applicant has a bigger and nicer phone than I do. She took the application away with her.

    3Reply
  • Steve Babiak
    Real Estate Investor · Audubon, PA · Member since 2009 · 13k+ posts · 8k+ votes
    11y
    Originally posted by @Stephen E.:

    ... Needless to say the applicant has a bigger and nicer phone than I do. ...

    Seems that their KIDS even have nicer phones :)

    1Reply
  • Steve Vaughan
    Rental Property Investor · East Wenatchee, WA · Member since 2014 · 10k+ posts · 16k+ votes
    11y

    Just yesterday.  My ad for a little 2nd floor apt states at the end, "please tell us if this rental is far from your work (or source of income), how many folks in your household and if you have any pets."   I don't leave my #.  Anonymous CL e-mail only at first.

    Girl's e-mail says: "...not far from my work.  Just me and my cat."   

    I e-mail for more info.  She gets back to me and gives me her# and the #for her fiance' & his kid. "BTW, is the yard fenced for the dog?"  She completely got mixed up who she was e-mailing.  Would've had 3 people a cat and a dog by end of week 1.  Gotta love that anonymous e-mail!  

    5Reply
  • Deborah BurianPro Member
    Rental Property Investor · Oklahoma City, OK · Member since 2013 · 1k+ posts · 412 votes
    11y

    my fave this week... "I have a felony, do you rent to felons?"  Me "well, yes, we have rented to felons, it depends on the felony... We frown on assault on landlords and the manufacture of methamphetamine". Very long pause... "Well, I have A&B with a deadly weapon and I'm on probation...but it wasn't on my landlord."  Her A&B was so colorful I found newspaper articles about it...

    9Reply
  • Matthew Paul
    Severna Park, MD · Member since 2013 · 7k+ posts · 7k+ votes
    11y

    I just left showing one today ,  The young lady asks me where the washer and dryer are?  I reply  " At the store "  She then asks  Do I get to pick what I want ?  .......... Well sure , I guess and you get to pay for them too , we dont supply washers and dryers , I told you that over the phone and its in the ad. 

    4Reply
  • Shawn Davis
    Investor · Wilsonville, OR · Member since 2014 · 59 posts · 51 votes
    11y

    Okay, I'll bite:

    1.  My ads all say "No Smokers, No Pets, No exceptions" but even so, I always reiterate on the phone prior to meeting for a walk-through:

    Me: " Just to double check that you are not a smoker and you don't have any pets - I don't allow either"

    Prospective: "That's not a problem.  I don't smoke and only have one cat"

    2. Talking with a nice sounding prospective tenant, qualifying before meeting for showing.

    I say: "I run a credit, background, and eviction check with the application fee so if you know there are potential negatives on those, let's discuss them ahead of time so you don't waste your money."

    Prospective Tenant " No, everything looks good on those for me.  The only bad thing in my background is that I killed my dad when I was 17 but that was like a really long time ago because I'm 21 now.  But, you don't do a criminal check so I think my application will be good.."

    3.  My most recent.  From a tenant who I inherited with the building but only agreed to close if the seller posted a 60 day notice to terminate on the day of my inspection because it was the filthiest thing I had ever seen.  She wants a walk-through prior to her move-out because she wants to make sure she will get her whole security deposit back.  I explain that the security deposit refund is based on condition upon move-out, not prior to so we reschedule for morning after her move.  She meets me out front and is babbling on about how there is "one small BB hole" in the bathroom wall and she is really worried that I will try to charge her for the repair because it was like that when she moved in.  She opens the door to the unit and it is the most disgusting place I have ever seen or smelled (human urine).   Her stuff is gone (a huge blessing) but all the walls and floors are covered in dirt and trash and damage.  The kitchen is full of old moldy food and nasty gunk everywhere including inside the dishwasher, walls from top to bottom just dirty and sticky, with wax etc. all over everything, Every smoke detector, carbon monoxide monitor pulled of the wall, trash stuffed down the bathroom drains, 100s of holes in the walls and ceiling (her stripper poles) etc., Just gross.  She says, Well, I just want to know how much you are going to charge me for the BB hole - because I need that whole deposit for my next place.  I say, "I will be doing a full accounting as directed by Oregon law and will have that, along with any monies due you back to you within 31 days."  And then I add " But, I can tell you that this unit is the dirtiest unit I have ever received back from a tenant and will have to be cleaned."   

    And she says " Oh, I'm a really good cleaner.  You could pay me to do it.  I really need the money!"

    17Reply
  • George P.
    Property Manager · Livonia, MI · Member since 2011 · 4k+ posts · 1k+ votes
    11y
    Originally posted by @Shawn Davis:

    3.  My most recent.  From a trip enant who I inherited with the building but only agreed to close if the seller posted a 60 day notice to terminate on the day of my inspection because it was the filthiest thing I had ever seen.  She wants a walk-through prior to her move-out because she wants to make sure she will get her whole security deposit back.  I explain that the security deposit refund is based on condition upon move-out, not prior to so we reschedule for morning after her move.  She meets me out front and is babbling on about how there is "one small BB hole" in the bathroom wall and she is really worried that I will try to charge her for the repair because it was like that when she moved in.  She opens the door to the unit and it is the most disgusting place I have ever seen or smelled (human urine).   Her stuff is gone (a huge blessing) but all the walls and floors are covered in dirt and trash and damage.  The kitchen is full of old moldy food and nasty gunk everywhere including inside the dishwasher, walls from top to bottom just dirty and sticky, with wax etc. all over everything, Every smoke detector, carbon monoxide monitor pulled of the wall, trash stuffed down the bathroom drains, 100s of holes in the walls and ceiling (her stripper poles) etc., Just gross.  She says, Well, I just want to know how much you are going to charge me for the BB hole - because I need that whole deposit for my next place.  I say, "I will be doing a full accounting as directed by Oregon law and will have that, along with any monies due you back to you within 31 days."  And then I add " But, I can tell you that this unit is the dirtiest unit I have ever received back from a tenant and will have to be cleaned."   

    And she says " Oh, I'm a really good cleaner.  You could pay me to do it.  I really need the money!"

     lol.  do u have pictures? 

    0Reply
  • Kendra Mattson
    Investor · San Diego, CA · Member since 2015 · 67 posts · 23 votes
    11y
    Originally posted by @George P.:
    Originally posted by @Shawn Davis:

    3.  My most recent.  From a trip enant who I inherited with the building but only agreed to close if the seller posted a 60 day notice to terminate on the day of my inspection because it was the filthiest thing I had ever seen.  She wants a walk-through prior to her move-out because she wants to make sure she will get her whole security deposit back.  I explain that the security deposit refund is based on condition upon move-out, not prior to so we reschedule for morning after her move.  She meets me out front and is babbling on about how there is "one small BB hole" in the bathroom wall and she is really worried that I will try to charge her for the repair because it was like that when she moved in.  She opens the door to the unit and it is the most disgusting place I have ever seen or smelled (human urine).   Her stuff is gone (a huge blessing) but all the walls and floors are covered in dirt and trash and damage.  The kitchen is full of old moldy food and nasty gunk everywhere including inside the dishwasher, walls from top to bottom just dirty and sticky, with wax etc. all over everything, Every smoke detector, carbon monoxide monitor pulled of the wall, trash stuffed down the bathroom drains, 100s of holes in the walls and ceiling (her stripper poles) etc., Just gross.  She says, Well, I just want to know how much you are going to charge me for the BB hole - because I need that whole deposit for my next place.  I say, "I will be doing a full accounting as directed by Oregon law and will have that, along with any monies due you back to you within 31 days."  And then I add " But, I can tell you that this unit is the dirtiest unit I have ever received back from a tenant and will have to be cleaned."   

    And she says " Oh, I'm a really good cleaner.  You could pay me to do it.  I really need the money!"

     lol.  do u have pictures? 

    Oh PLEASE say you have pictures! I can't even imagine. Also, did she actually have stripper poles up, or is that just your theory of how the holes were made?

    2Reply
  • Mike Freidenberger
    Investor · Oklahoma City, OK · Member since 2015 · 38 posts · 12 votes
    11y

    New landlord here, when I was showing my SFH I had an applicant ask me if I allowed Pets which I do, then they asked me "Can we replace the back door because if my dogs don't have a doggy door then they'll just pee on the floor" really considering changing my pet policy!

    1Reply
  • Linda WeygantPro Member
    Investor and CPA · Arvada, CO · Member since 2015 · 2k+ posts · 3k+ votes
    11y
    Originally posted by @Kendra Mattson:
    Originally posted by @George P.:
    Originally posted by @Shawn Davis:

    Oh PLEASE say you have pictures! I can't even imagine. Also, did she actually have stripper poles up, or is that just your theory of how the holes were made?

     I believe the correct terminology these days is "vertical ballet bar" or possible even "vertical exercise bar".  Would also love to see pictures....

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  • Natalie KolodijBusiness Member
    Moderator
    Tax Strategist| National Tax Educator| Accepting New Clients · Member since 2014 · 3k+ posts · 4k+ votes
    11y
    Originally posted by @Ryan B.:

    "Does a chicken count as a pet?"

    As perfect this relates to my skill set as a chicken owner/ chicken coop builder. 

    A chicken is a pet if you own a diaper for it. 

    If not, it is poultry- and lives in the yard. 

    Boom. Next question. 

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    6Reply
  • Kendra Mattson
    Investor · San Diego, CA · Member since 2015 · 67 posts · 23 votes
    11y
    Originally posted by @Linda Weygant:
    Originally posted by @Kendra Mattson:
    Originally posted by @George P.:
    Originally posted by @Shawn Davis:

    Oh PLEASE say you have pictures! I can't even imagine. Also, did she actually have stripper poles up, or is that just your theory of how the holes were made?

     I believe the correct terminology these days is "vertical ballet bar" or possible even "vertical exercise bar".  Would also love to see pictures....

     Ahaha oh sorry, I think you're right. How did you know she had "vertical exercise bars" up? :P

    1Reply
  • Aaron Montague
    Rental Property Investor · Brookline, MA · Member since 2013 · 1k+ posts · 777 votes
    11y

    @Everyone

    New spring, fresh smells, clean air and a new batch of weird for this thread:

    Best email:

    Hi, your 2bed is working, yes//

    I'd like to move in with my girlfriend and our kittie, Neow! :):):)  Because of the cat's health issues we'd like to discount the rent a couple hundred to help pay for the cat's vet bills.  I assume since no is there now, you'd be good with %550 or the like for the apartment.  I mean come on, 550 is s great deal for this place... for me!!  :):):)

    But my cat is sick and it has vet bills, so we'll take your 2bed for 525 maybe.  We can fill into it now and move out of our old place now.  You know, landlord's are a-holes... :):):) but maybe not you if can do 490 on this place for our poor, sick cat.

    Thanks,

    :):):)

    My favorite phone call:

    Me: Hello, this is Aaron

    Them: You've got a 3 bed place available this spring, right?

    Me: May 1st, correct.

    Them: We'll take it.  Can we move in tomorrow?

    Me: No, there are tenants in there until the last day of April.  They will be moved out by noon the 1st of May.

    Them: Wait, what?  Why would you put it in the paper (it was online) and not have it available now?

    Me: So I don't lose any rent during the month in between.

    Them: Who the hell wants someone running through their business before you move out of a place.  I'll tell you I'd be up in his face if he brought me some outside people into my apartment before I was ready to run out of there.

    Me: I hear ya, thanks for calling.

    Them: Wait, wait.  I was just joking, I'll move those f***ers out for you tomorrow so I can have the place.  Where did you say it was again?

    Me: On Bismuth in Gatica, NY (I had no clue if there is a Gatica, NY).

    Them: F*** yeah, right up in there.  See you later!!

    I honestly have no clue who I talked to to, "private number", or what they wanted.  The guy sounded seriously high and a little scared until he started talking about moving people out, then he got scary sounding.

    The apartment is probably 6 hours from New York city.  There is no Gatica, NY and I probably took 5 minutes to figure out what had just transpired during that phone call.

    I liked the cat guy better...

    8Reply
  • Nuhan Demirkan
    Rental Property Investor · La Plata, MD · Member since 2011 · 216 posts · 117 votes
    11y

    This happens all the time...

    Call comes in,

    I'm calling about the house

    me: sure what would you like to know?

    How many bedrooms?

    me: 3

    3?

    me: yes

    How many bathrooms?

    me: 2

    2?

    me: yes

    How much is the rent?

    me $1600

    $1600?

    me: click!

    0Reply
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