Bipolar Tenant...I hit the crazy lottery!

Bipolar Tenant...I hit the crazy lottery!

Member since 2018 · 563 posts · 562 votes
I'm posting to vent and maybe get some advice. I have a tenant that I have realized is Bipolar and has some serious mood swings and gets very negative verbally attacking me.

She has one of my more challenging units that is street level, with all the living room windows right out on to the sidewalk with no setback/yard. So, people can look into the unit if the windows or blinds are open, also, you can hear cars parking(loud stereos), random homeless people walking by talking to themselves, the dumpster being rolled out and emptied M,W,F etc. basically all the little special joys of living in dense urban environment. So, it's not like there isn't things to dislike or be frustrated with, but, very few that I can actually control or change.

also, the building occasionally has some petty theft of packages. The doors close lock properly, but occasionally people get buzzed in or follow a tenant in, despite the fact we constantly send out reminder letters about building security and best practices.

We have security cameras and are actively involved in coordinating withe police and city council members.

Still every time something happens this one tenant acts like its my fault and then leaves a bunch of messages about what horrible person I am and how badly I manage the place, etc,etc. Mind you, when she is a good mood, she is asking me to hire her as an assistant because she is interested in RE.

She always ends up apologizing later, but, it's starting to really get on my nerves. I have given her the " if you feel that way, you should move." ultimatum. She just back pedals and eventually calms down and apologizes when she is not in that mood swing.

I'm just getting annoyed at the occasional full fledged assault on my character, like I'm some kind of emotional punching bag.


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Real Estate Broker · Hyde Park Tampa, FL · Member since 2019 · 2k+ posts · 3k+ votes
6y

I have a slightly different take on this:  it's your fault.  When she pulled this tantrum stuff on you the first time, you didn't end it there.  And, now that this is a common and repeated event with her, you feel like a punching bag.  You never should have been "the bag" in the first place.  Tenants have the right to the peaceful use of their rental..."peaceful" doesn't mean silent - but normal for it's location.  I recommend that you send her a letter/email (have it in writing) and be factual; one thing that emotional people can't emote over are facts.  Advise her that:

1.  All future contact must be submitted via email.  (And, then block her; enforce this boundary).

2.  Any activity that she deems is criminal in nature is to be immediately reported to the police - not you.  Remind her that you have provided security measures like cameras and a secure entry but it is the tenant's responsibility to ensure that the entry is secure and that police are notified of criminal issues.

3.  You recommend that she keep her blinds closed to ensure her privacy.  Point out that the location "is what it is" and remind her that most people embrace the urban vibe and find ways to create their personal, peaceful space.  You hope she will do the same and enjoy "the remaining time on your lease." 

Sign your name and be done.

And, I don't think she's Bipolar...I think she's an immature, entitled, manipulative brat - an emotional vampire. Get off her roller coaster and stay off.  She may escalate her rant to get your attention after receiving the letter - don't take the bait. Don't respond to inappropriate behavior. Once she knows that you're no longer giving her an audience, she will stop.  

She's not worth your time and attention - so don't give it to her.  (And, FYI...I know this because "I've been there, done that" repeatedly. I finally realized that I was enabling it so now I refuse to engage in it at all.  Horrified them, freed me!)  

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  • Investor · Long Beach, CA · Member since 2012 · 313 posts · 190 votes
    6y

    Follow the terms of your lease, and get rid of her as soon as you can. nothing good will come of this...eventually something bad might happen.

  • Real Estate Consultant · OH · Member since 2018 · 24 posts · 27 votes
    6y

    I would definitely draw a line. The respect needs to be there... I would have a discussion with the Resident and specifically lay out ground rules.

    I don't stand for that type of behavior.

  • Member since 2018 · 563 posts · 562 votes
    6y

    UPDATE: I saw her in the lobby yesterday and kept my head down and kind of ignored her and about 5 min later I got a voicemail from her apologizing and saying that she was "off her meds" for a few days.  She was a bit embarrassed but, back to normal regular happy demeanor.

  • Rental Property Investor · Upstate, NY · Member since 2012 · 3k+ posts · 3k+ votes
    6y
    Originally posted by @Isaac S.:

    UPDATE: I saw her in the lobby yesterday and kept my head down and kind of ignored her and about 5 min later I got a voicemail from her apologizing and saying that she was "off her meds" for a few days.  She was a bit embarrassed but, back to normal regular happy demeanor.

    The proverbial "Walking on eggshells around an abusive individual" scenario. What could go wrong???

  • Member since 2018 · 563 posts · 562 votes
    6y
    Originally posted by @Pat L.:
    Originally posted by @Isaac S.:

    UPDATE: I saw her in the lobby yesterday and kept my head down and kind of ignored her and about 5 min later I got a voicemail from her apologizing and saying that she was "off her meds" for a few days.  She was a bit embarrassed but, back to normal regular happy demeanor.

    The proverbial "Walking on eggshells around an abusive individual" scenario. What could go wrong???

    It's the crazy lottery! Ya never know when you're gonna win it.

  • Rental Property Investor · Erie, PA · Member since 2018 · 6k+ posts · 9k+ votes
    6y

    @Isaac S.

    Don’t sweat the crazy stinky gross or slob tenants . Look man The only crazy jackpot you should be worried about hitting is collecting that rent every month ! Generally If a tenant is paying and not trashing the place then work with them because it does no good to throw them out and have a vacancy ...a big cleaning project ..and a 2,000$ turnover rehab going on to get it back up to par . Then Showings advertising etc ..

    Going forward if your unsure and Whenever you ready to wig out over something -remember these two questions ;

    1. Is the tenant paying rent in time ?

    2. Is the tenant trashing/ destroying the place ?

    Based on the answer to those questions you will know what to do . No room for emotions

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