Tenant has GF/Wife living in unit but I refuse to put her on the lease

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Tenant has GF/Wife living in unit but I refuse to put her on the lease

Margharita Silva
Member since 2019 · 80 posts · 14 votes

Hi Everybody, i own a studio condo in NJ. I had a tenant for 5 years. He has been a very quiet and clean tenant and always paid a week in advance and I had no issues for the past 5 years. Last year when I was renewing his lease, he asked if he can put his "wife" in the lease because she wants to get a green card. He said this was his GF for a year or two but they are getting married so she can get her immigration papers. I told him no and i said if things go south with her, I cannot be responsible for her so not only she will not be on the lease, she should limit the time to stay there and be solely a guest or else he can move out and find a home for him & his wife. He said he does not want to give up his place because he wants to see how the marriage will go. hmmm. He said she already has her own place but he also said she is overseas now because her parents were sick. Today, I was there for an inspection and I was shocked to see that almost everything was hers (closets were full of female clothes, shoes everywhere, extra set of chest drawers were placed for her clothes, bathroom is full of female make up and body & beauty products, handbags etc) He is a minimal guy. I did not take any pictures but I was upset with this. On top of this the tenant revealed to me he lost his job and been in unemployment. Now, we just signed a new lease which takes effect in December 1st (my fault) What can I do to protect myself at this point? This is a "luxury" condo with in house management.I don't want to have issues for an unauthorized tenant or possibly non -payment. I want to be candid and not threatening but still firm. Can I amend the lease ? Should I go and take pictures incase I need to prove she lives there?

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Jaimee LaTorra
Property Manager · Denver, CO · Member since 2026 · 7 posts · 5 votes
2d

I'd be careful here, NJ is one of the tougher states to do this in.

Marital status is protected under NJ's Law Against Discrimination, so once they're actually married, telling him his wife can only be a guest is risky in NJ. Definitely run that by a local landlord-tenant attorney. NJ also has the Anti-Eviction Act, which means you generally need one of the specific good causes to end a tenancy or not renew, so "move out if she lives here" might not actually be on the table.

Honestly putting her on the lease might help you more than hurt. That's a second adult who's legally responsible for rent, and with him on unemployment that matters. Have her fill out the same application anyone else would and screen her income and rental history like normal.

Also check your condo bylaws, alot of associations require every occupant to be registered so building management may need her info regardless.

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  • Jaimee LaTorra
    Property Manager · Denver, CO · Member since 2026 · 7 posts · 5 votes
    2d

    I'd be careful here, NJ is one of the tougher states to do this in.

    Marital status is protected under NJ's Law Against Discrimination, so once they're actually married, telling him his wife can only be a guest is risky in NJ. Definitely run that by a local landlord-tenant attorney. NJ also has the Anti-Eviction Act, which means you generally need one of the specific good causes to end a tenancy or not renew, so "move out if she lives here" might not actually be on the table.

    Honestly putting her on the lease might help you more than hurt. That's a second adult who's legally responsible for rent, and with him on unemployment that matters. Have her fill out the same application anyone else would and screen her income and rental history like normal.

    Also check your condo bylaws, alot of associations require every occupant to be registered so building management may need her info regardless.

    2Reply
    • Margharita Silva
      OP
      Member since 2019 · 80 posts · 14 votes
      2d

      the wife is a dancer and I believe has no income hence the marriage because my tenant said he wants to sponsor her to the US so I also don't know if since they married she received her citizenship yet or not because if he is unemployed and so she is,  most likely she is not going to get her citizenship through marriage since her sponsor lost his job...The tenant made it sound like this was a marriage on paper. I asked him if he wants to move out to a bigger place (studio looked very packed since last time i was there)  he said something like "we will see how the marriage goes" so it sounded like he was not too sure about this marriage but he was pressured to marry for the green card for otherwise a casual relationship. Either way, I don't want her on the lease because  I do not want another unemployed person on the lease as you may imagine and there maybe a divorce in the horizon if the green card does not materialise because of his unemployment.

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    • Margharita Silva
      OP
      Member since 2019 · 80 posts · 14 votes
      1d

      Actually demonstrable income I should say since based on her socials she seems to be an exotic dancer.

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  • Denise SuppleeBusiness Member
    Realtor · Willow Grove, PA · Member since 2017 · 1k+ posts · 652 votes
    2d

    I would slow down before doing anything. You've had a good tenant for five years, so I'd start with a calm conversation and remind him of what the lease says about additional occupants.

    If she is actually living there, that's different from having a guest, so I would address that directly and give him the opportunity to correct it. I would also review the lease and your condo rules before trying to amend anything.

    As for the job situation, I'd keep that conversation separate and make sure the rent continues to be paid as agreed.

    I wouldn't go back in just to take pictures of her belongings without first making sure you're following the inspection and notice requirements in your lease and under NJ law. If you think this may become a legal issue, I'd talk with a NJ landlord-tenant attorney before taking action. Document your communications and keep everything professional.

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  • Richard (Ryszard) Cieplechowicz
    Member since 2026 · 143 posts · 38 votes
    2d

    Check your state's rules first, and talk to a local landlord-tenant attorney before you tell him she cannot live there. In some states, refusing a spouse or restricting a married occupant can create a legal problem, and a long good tenancy is worth protecting.

    If it ends up being two adults living there, adding her to the lease with a short application and screening usually protects you more than leaving her off. Both are then responsible for the rent, and you have a signed record of who lives in the unit.

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  • Drew SygitBusiness Member
    Property Manager · Royal Oak, MI · Member since 2012 · 12k+ posts · 9k+ votes
    2d

    If they were BOTH applying right now, what would you do (ignore his recent job loss)?

    You'd probably rent to them and put them both on the lease.

    So, what did you realistically expect to happen after you told him his wife couldn't move in with him?

    • You actually believed his story that she had her own place here locally?

    FYI - this happens OFTEN with pets. Landlord says NO WAY and then discovers tenants got/had one anyways.

    In either case, it's better to have a logical plan to address additions to lease and pets INSTEAD of fighting it - and pretty much losing anyways.

    FYI: I'd add her to the lease and charge an extra 5% on the rent:)

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    • Margharita Silva
      OP
      Member since 2019 · 80 posts · 14 votes
      1d

      I would definitely reject them both on the basis that neither has a job/ income to meet the rent.

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    • Margharita Silva
      OP
      Member since 2019 · 80 posts · 14 votes
      23h

      Also, for clarity- I think the title was tweaked when the forum published it, but when he first asked her to be on the lease, he said they are getting married for her citizenship and that they need proof for the immigration that they live together - BUT he said - she will not live here, she has her own place. It did not make sense to put her on the lease for immigration which is why i refused. If he said, I am getting married and I want my wife to move in can I bring her in, I would prob do a check and put her as an occupant. (But as things stand since both don't have. job, today I would not) He did not ask me about her moving in because they wanted to live together, he asked me for a lease which showed her name on paper even though she would not live there . So my refusal was not to the spouse but to produce a lease that would not be accurate and used solely for immigration (fraud?) purposes. A lot of people get married for their documents and i did not want to take part in it and I don't the particulars of his life.

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  • Jim Johnson
    Real Estate Agent · Memphis · Member since 2026 · 591 posts · 348 votes
    1d

    I'd start with a direct conversation about whether she's actually living there. Having her belongings in the unit doesn't necessarily prove she's a permanent occupant. Since he's been a reliable tenant for five years, getting a clear answer before escalating things seems reasonable. I wouldn't go back just to photograph her personal belongings.

    As for amending the lease, I'd have a NJ landlord-tenant attorney review the existing terms and the renewal you've already signed. You may not be able to change those terms unilaterally. I'd also keep his unemployment separate from the occupancy issue unless rent actually becomes a problem.

    0Reply
    • Margharita Silva
      OP
      Member since 2019 · 80 posts · 14 votes
      1d

      I was actually there this evening and had the condo manager confirm they have her in their system and also I went up to the unit to have him sign the rider and his “wife” opened the door. She said he is not there but I don’t any more proof that she lives there. Yesterday he told me that she was in Brazil after her father died and her mother had cancer. Wow what a lie !!! I will ask for the marriage certificate and if they are not married I will tell him send him a notice to quit since it is a violation of his lease and I did not consent to her moving in.

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  • Dan H.Pro Member
    Investor · Poway, CA · Member since 2015 · 7k+ posts · 8k+ votes
    1d

    By the way, if they are married, you cannot legally prohibit the spouse from living in the unit in NJ unless it in some other way is against the tenancy. Marital Status is protected status.

    I suggest you verify everything related to this before any communication.

    Good luck

    0Reply
    • Margharita Silva
      OP
      Member since 2019 · 80 posts · 14 votes
      1d

      I did verify that he is indeed married by checking his marriage certificate. I just can’t believe I was there yesterday and he lied so casually. He was still saying that she is there sometimes and she was in Brazil yesterday. Ok so I need to speak to my lawyer tomorrow and see what I can do. I prepared the lease terms based on him occupying the apartment solo and definitely want to negotiate and see if I can charge more per month since I only gave him a 3 percent increase based on our relationship and pay history. The condo manager said they have been living there close to a year-  paying what a room would cost in parts of nj and nyc with all their utilities included and I feel taken advantage of as a small landlady.

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  • Divin KanyamaBusiness Member
    Accountant · Seattle, WA · Member since 2025 · 520 posts · 219 votes
    1d

    @Margharita Silva You’re right to address this promptly, but I would keep the immigration issue out of the discussion and focus only on the lease, occupancy, payment, and building rules.

    First, review the current lease, the new lease effective December 1, and the condo association’s rules. Look specifically for provisions on authorized occupants, guests, extended stays, inspections, notice requirements, and defaults. The belongings you observed may suggest regular occupancy, but they do not necessarily prove that she lives there.

    I would send the tenant a calm written notice asking him to confirm who currently occupies the unit and reminding him of the applicable guest and occupancy terms. You might say: “During the recent inspection, I observed indications that another person may be regularly occupying the unit. Please confirm in writing who currently resides there and whether any guest has exceeded the limits in the lease or building rules. I value our five-year tenancy and want to resolve any issue cooperatively, but all occupants and guests must comply with the lease and condominium requirements.”

    Do not enter again merely to take photographs. Follow New Jersey notice and access requirements, document your communications and observations, and coordinate with management if the condominium has registration or occupancy procedures. Avoid photographing personal belongings unless your attorney confirms it is appropriate during a lawful inspection.

    You generally cannot amend a signed lease unilaterally. Any amendment should be voluntary, written, signed by both parties, and reviewed for compliance with New Jersey law. His unemployment alone is not a lease violation if rent remains current, so continue monitoring payments and enforce the lease consistently.

    Because New Jersey landlord-tenant rules and anti-discrimination laws can be technical, consider having a New Jersey landlord-tenant attorney review both leases before sending a formal notice or taking enforcement action.

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  • JD MartinBusiness Member
    Moderator
    Rock Star Extraordinaire · Northeast, TN · Member since 2015 · 10k+ posts · 16k+ votes
    17h

    Frankly, this sounds personal for you and that's a dangerous place to be as a landlord. Everything should be all business. From the business end of things, the only questions I would have is: what additional wear & tear is on the unit from having a second adult there? What additional costs do I have to absorb by having an additional person there? Am I legally able to charge more money for having two adults there instead of one and would I have charged that amount from the front end?

    Anything beyond that is really nonsense. Maybe the guy is a cross dresser. Who cares if the "wife" is a dancer? Why would you be reviewing her "socials" if you weren't ever going to add her to the lease anyway? It actually doesn't even matter at this point if he's unemployed because he is apparently receiving benefits and hasn't missed any rent payments that you've mentioned here.

    I didn't read anywhere in here that you are out any money whatsoever. As for adding her to the lease, you may be completely within your rights to say no as you leased to this guy. I predict if you make life miserable here for this guy you're going to end up with no one paying rent, a long slog through the eviction courts in a tough state, and out a whole bunch of money for no good reason that I've been able to read. You've posted about this same guy a few times over the past few years and have always said he's a good tenant, pays, no problems. Why would you want to make problems for him because he's got his eye on an exotic dancer? 

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    • Margharita Silva
      OP
      Member since 2019 · 80 posts · 14 votes
      9h

      No I did not post about him before. You are confusing the posts. I did not have an issue before. The point is I don’t think she has any demonstrable income and not someone to have or choose as a tenant 

      0Reply
  • Matthew MorrowBusiness Member
    Investor · PA - NY - NJ · Member since 2019 · 702 posts · 248 votes
    10h

    @Margharita Silva Jaimee's right to wave the caution flag. NJ is a tough state for this, and I'm not an attorney, so I'd run it by one before you say no in writing. The way I'd look at it, she's a new applicant, so handle her exactly like anyone else applying for that unit. Same application, same written criteria, same screening. Keep personal assumptions out of it and document everything. NJ protects things like marital status and source of income, so a decision based on anything other than your standard criteria can get expensive. Five years of quiet, on-time rent is worth a lot too. Hope you get it worked out.

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  • Daniel Jung
    Member since 2026 · 43 posts · 16 votes
    3h

    The fact pattern changed once you verified the marriage certificate. At that point this is no longer about keeping a spouse out, and pushing that fight in New Jersey will likely cost you more than it gains. The real issue is the lie and a rent set for one occupant with utilities included. I would handle it at renewal: price the unit honestly for two occupants, register her as an occupant with ID and an application on file, and put every term in writing. Document the occupancy timeline from the condo records, keep communication written and businesslike, and do not enter to gather proof. Let your attorney confirm the New Jersey specifics before anything is sent. You protect the asset better by repricing it than by fighting who lives there.

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    • Margharita Silva
      OP
      Member since 2019 · 80 posts · 14 votes
      58m

      The problem is we already renewed this years 26-27 lease on Monday and I discovered the wife living there the day after I signed which was unfortunate. I am not sure if I can offer an amendment to the new (but executed) lease which does not start until Dec 1st. This year I only raised the rent 3% and the rent with this increase is still below market which is why I feel taken advantage of. 

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