Wife to a new RE agent...need advice/help...PLEASE!

Wife to a new RE agent...need advice/help...PLEASE!

Indianapolis, IN · Member since 2015 · 2 posts · 0 votes

My husband and I have been married almost 10 years.  No kids yet but we hope to have a family, Lord willing.  Hubby is 43 I am 39.  He has been bartending for years and years and the schedule was incredibly hard for a vibrant family life, so he took the plunge and got his RE license and is 2 months now working with a RE team.  He chose real estate because he desperately wanted a job where he felt like he was making a big difference for people.  He is FABULOUS with people and lives with integrity and is extremely genuine and warm.  I am very proud of him and have done all I can to be supportive.  He deserves success...however...he is gone a ridiculous amount of time and I see him less now than I did when he was bartending full time (He still bartends Friday and Saturday nights).  I have read so many articles about balancing RE with family life and they all say that you MUST schedule family time, period.  My husband does NOT enjoy being away so much.  We are absolute best friends so it has been difficult for us both.  I guess my question is this:  Should scheduling family time take a back seat when starting out or should you start out scheduling family time because it is a healthy habit you should adopt right from the start?  I want him to succeed and I want to be supportive.  That's why I want expertise from those of you that have been there.  You can shed light on what he should do/expect as a first year RE agent. I should also add that I owned a business with an ex-husband who was a workaholic.  That did not end well.  Obviously I am gun shy because of that experience.    Guidance/advice would be so appreciated!

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Professional · TX · Member since 2012 · 35 posts · 4 votes
10y

It reads as though you may be feeling a little deprived of his attention. It's important to be as supportive as possible and understand that his new endeavor is time consuming and and will take much of his time at the beginning (especially while working a second job)... Honestly, I think you're going to have to come to terms with the fact that your time together will decrease until he can supplement his 2nd jobs income with his earnings from real estate...  I'm honestly puzzled by the question considering there are no children involved.  Plan a date night every once in a while and you should be fine.   

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  • Professional · TX · Member since 2012 · 35 posts · 4 votes
    10y

    It reads as though you may be feeling a little deprived of his attention. It's important to be as supportive as possible and understand that his new endeavor is time consuming and and will take much of his time at the beginning (especially while working a second job)... Honestly, I think you're going to have to come to terms with the fact that your time together will decrease until he can supplement his 2nd jobs income with his earnings from real estate...  I'm honestly puzzled by the question considering there are no children involved.  Plan a date night every once in a while and you should be fine.   

  • Investor · Atlanta, GA · Member since 2013 · 3k+ posts · 3k+ votes
    10y

    What if you were to show an interest in what he's doing and sort of partner up? 

    I mean, if you had an interest in real estate investing, maybe you could send out letters, mailers and those properties that don't show potential as an investment might be great potential listings for your husband. 

    You could get all the numbers over the phone and figure out what kind of property it would be and then go with your husband to look at the house. 

    It would give you more together time and you'd understand more of what he's doing.

  • Russell BrazilBusiness Member
    Moderator
    Real Estate Agent · Washington, D.C. · Member since 2012 · 17k+ posts · 30k+ votes
    10y

    @Tiffany W. being that he is a new real estate agent, it means it is going to take more time and more work to get going.  Being a real estate agent is running a small business. This is a fact that many people overlook.  And starting a business takes much more time than running an established business. I would say to expect the first two years to be kind of work intensive as he gets this new venture off the ground. Once he has a more steady stream of deals in the works, and establishes systems to handle things it will be easier to create a better work/life balance.

  • Real Estate Broker · Jacksonville, OR · Member since 2009 · 199 posts · 155 votes
    10y

    when you are a new agent, you are vigorously shaking the tree.  The best thing you can do is get your license and help him by answering listing questions and picking up tasks that can be done by an assistant.  That is the best way to show your support, while freeing up some of his time.  My husband got his license to support me over 10 years ago.  He is so busy, he needs my support now.  It is a difficult business, but an awesome lifestyle for husband and wife teams.  We have a blast!  I wholeheartedly recommend it!

  • Joel OwensBusiness Member
    Moderator
    Real Estate Broker · Canton, GA · Member since 2010 · 15k+ posts · 11k+ votes
    10y

    Tiffany the bartending probably will pay him more than the agent thing. 90% make about 32,000 before taxes a year in this business. If he is on a team he is giving away some to the brokerage and to the team as well.

    That means smaller checks per transaction. Hopefully he has a lot of reserves saved up until he close something. If you wanted more time with him when he was doing bartending the residential stuff is much worse. I do not see how that really improves your situation.

    I focus on commercial real estate. I work when I want to. In residential new agents drive buyers all over creation. He might do better working for a subdivision developer. Unfortunately residential owns you for nights and weekends.

    If he enjoys numbers and regular hours he might like commercial real estate. 

  • Dawn BrenengenBusiness Member
    Moderator
    Real Estate Broker · Raleigh, NC · Member since 2014 · 2k+ posts · 1k+ votes
    10y

    @Tiffany W. I agree with what everyone said above, but once he gets a strong business built he can hire his own assistant and free up a lot of his time or he can be choosier about who he works with.  I make a great living being an agent, and I can be around for anything my kids need me for too.  It's a great work-life "balance", even through it's all chaotic and crazy.  My husband is very supportive of what I do, though.  

  • Lynnwood, WA · Member since 2015 · 221 posts · 157 votes
    10y

    I saw this on Dr. Phil one time, complete with the part about how the husband hired his own assistant. I could not understand most of it (because Dr. Phil) but it turned out well in the end. I think. 

    Srsly, this is a life-work-marriage balance issue, and I doubt it can be solved via scheduling alone. An agreement in principle re time together would be ideal, as it allows for flexibility all around.

    Best of luck!

  • Professional · Carlsbad, CA · Member since 2012 · 12k+ posts · 1k+ votes
    10y

    @Tiffany W.

    Welcome to Bigger Pockets. BP is full of resources. You will find resources here from blogs to pod casts and forums. You can also send messages to members. This is one of my favorite features of Bigger Pockets especially for asking specific questions.

  • Residential Real Estate Broker · La Crosse, WI · Member since 2013 · 360 posts · 110 votes
    10y

    Yes, Tiffany, he needs to learn to time block now.  It may be a while before he has an assistant, and that still won't insulate him from demanding clients who want to look at homes at odd hours?  It took me a few years, but I set aside times for family time.  If a client wants to see homes during that time, I simply say I already have an appointment, what else will work.  There will be times when that won't work, so I will swap out a different time to be with my husband.  If my family time is Friday night, but the market is hot and a long term serious client needs to see something, or they will lose out, I will go out and set aside another night to use in exchange.  Thank goodness my hubby is flexible and supportive.

  • Indianapolis, IN · Member since 2015 · 2 posts · 0 votes
    10y

    Joan, thanks for answering my question.  I was prepared for him working a lot.  I wasn't prepared for not seeing him at all (or for seeing him in a zombie state from total exhustion).  We have had some heart-to-heart conversations this week and he has blocked out time next weekend for a date with me.  We even got the RARE Saturday night date last night because they offered him the night off at his bartending gig.  He worked nearly all of today but we did manage to attend church together this morning, so I felt prepared and "filled up" so that having him come home at 6:30 tonight was not a disappointment to me.  I think we are starting to navigate the waters better.  I am all for flexibility.  I used to own a business, so I get it.  Just wasn't sure if he should even be blocking time out since he is so fresh.  He just started less than 3 months ago and is juggling 10 clients already so time management has been crazy, to say the least.  I also  work 10 hour days, so it can be challenging.  ;)  Thank you, again, for the input on blocking off time now rather than later.

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