Property Manager · Richmond, VA · Member since 2013 · 34 posts · 5 votes
It's been close to two years that my wife and I have been officially referring to ourselves as "real estate investors". Its been amazing how many people we've met and doors have opened by talking openly with others about real estate goals. We are humble people and, if anything, are overly understated when discussing our properties.
That said, I've been surprised by some of the reactions we've gotten from non-investors. "Jealously" may be the wrong word. But there is frequently an attitude that accompanies statements such as:
"Oh, it must be nice to have the money to do that."
"How many houses do you own now?"
"So now all you do is sit back and collect rent?"
There is part of me that understands this attitude. But there is part of me that takes offense.
Are we alone in being confronted by folks who are less than enthusiastic about our investing future? How do you approach addressing comments that appear to be rooted in jealousy?
Investor · Sarasota, FL · Member since 2008 · 17k+ posts · 17k+ votes
12y
When someone asks what I do, I just reply that I'm a full-time dad who does some real estate investing with my wife to pay the bills. I haven't (yet) found anyone with enough balls to put me down after that response... :-)
Delray Beach, FL · Member since 2014 · 7 posts · 4 votes
12y
I say embrace them and their comments, and bring them into the business as investors.
"Oh, it must be nice to have the money to do that." - It is thank you. Are you looking to get involved in real estate investing?
"How many houses do you own now?" - Lots, but not as many as I'd like to. Are you looking to get involved in real estate investing?
"So now all you do is sit back and collect rent?" - I wish it were that easy. Maybe it will be someday if I can find someone to do all the work for me. Are you looking to get involved in real estate investing?
Property Manager · Richmond, VA · Member since 2013 · 34 posts · 5 votes
12y
To a large extent, I've done what @DavidCohen has suggested. Provided information, and explained that with a good bit of effort and courage, anyone can get involved in real estate. Despite my best intentioned efforts, these conversations usually go poorly. But have yielded some great leads and contacts. It's incredibly valuable to get your story out there, and regardless of people's reactions it will always be something we do. I'm simply surprised at how openly negative and snide certain individuals can be.
Real Estate Investor · Memphis, TN · Member since 2013 · 37 posts · 21 votes
12y
Wait till your family members are the ones with the remarks. Those are the times where frankness and tact go out the window. People think investing/ Landlording/ rehabbing/ operating a business is a 10-2 behind a desk.
I empathize with your pains!
Real Estate Investor · Member since 2013 · 866 posts · 487 votes
12y
When I was first starting out the running joke in the office each Monday morning was someone would ask me, "How many houses did you buy this weekend?" My answer would be zero and then there were yucks all around.
At first, it really pissed me off because it took me several months to put together my first deal and the questions started a good month or two before I had that deal settled.
But, I embraced the question and used it as motivation. Each Monday morning I would honestly answer the question. A funny thing happened once the answers stopped being ZERO every week. It got real interesting when consistently I was buying one or two each week. The questions pretty much stopped at that point. Then I started asking them why they weren't asking how many houses I bought. Yeah, I can be a jerk that way. ;-)
It may be less jealousy than you think. It may be an expression of their own fear.
Two of the people I worked with eventually dipped their toes into buying rentals because they watched me progress. One of them stuck with it and retired on the income from her apartments about 10 years ago.
If you are investing to gain the admiration of adoring crowds, you can follow the guru model and just pretend you did it and talk about it.
If you are investing to provide a secure future for yourself and your family, just roll with it. The best 'revenge' is success.
Sun Prairie, WI · Member since 2013 · 150 posts · 69 votes
12y
I get some of those comments. Mostly from family who just don't understand how it works. If they made those comments to my face, I'd explain how it works. But, they don't so I just ignore it.
Investor · Nottingham, NH · Member since 2011 · 35 posts · 12 votes
12y
Duncan, That was a great reply. It's a big dose of humility to swallow. When I was starting out I kept it very low key. After getting some of those "oh... you want to be a slumlord" comments I learned to keep it to myself.
Today, I still work a full time job, but with 27 units the atmosphere is completely different. The boss has found a new respect for me. Maybe he has realized I don't need him like I did before.
The biggest hurtle was my parents. They were just not on-board and never will be. They are worried I might loose everything. Like I had anything to start with. :)
Real Estate Investor · Lincoln, NE · Member since 2013 · 584 posts · 353 votes
12y
I usually just answer by telling them how much I enjoy sitting on my giant throne made of gold and jewels, which everyone gets after becoming a real estate investor....;-)
Rental Property Investor · Baltimore County Maryland and Tampa Florida · Member since 2013 · 2k+ posts · 2k+ votes
12y
Yeah, just roll with it. Some people simply are going to have rude remarks. Some are honestly curious. You can tell quickly which ones are not worth wasting your breath and explaining the business to.
I guess I've been lucky; I haven't really had any rude reactions when I tell some what I do. I've actually got people who want to loan money to me for future purchases! Now, when telling my "horror stories" about bad tenants, I usually get something like "I couldn't handle that...how can you? Is it really worth it?"
Developer · Santa Clarita, CA · Member since 2008 · 15k+ posts · 10k+ votes
12y
I've had both the positive and negative comments, to the negative, I simply know that the person just does not get it and probably never will, so. Don't waste my time, I take it for what it is, negativity, fear, and stupidity. For the positive, I embrace it and offer advice if asked.
There are many different kinds of people in this world, one thing I do know for sure, it does not cost you anything to be nice, yet, some act is if it does. Too bad for them.
Investor · Vienna, VA · Member since 2011 · 158 posts · 45 votes
12y
I get a around it by never discussing my investing life with people at work--unless it comes up in some context where it fits in. For instance, there was another investor at work and we would discuss our ideas once in a while. The reason I would think twice about discussing with people at work--especially the higher ups--is they might wonder if you are actually doing work at work or how you could possibly doing a good job with your 9-5 if you are preoccuppied outside of it with other ventures. I know this would be a concern where I am. In fact there is one person with a real estate side business who is always taking taking business related calls at work--sometimes even in the middle of meetings they are running!
My close family and a few friends know about our real estate investing, but I make a point not to just bring it up. I also don't do a lot of bragging about my accomplishments, because I don't really want anyone to know.
Real Estate Agent · Cedar Falls, IA · Member since 2009 · 38 posts · 17 votes
12y
I agree with all the comments above. I never knew that slumlording was providing a nice home for people to live in while they work towards buying their own someday. It's funny how 99% of our tennants are very thankful we do what we do. Most people call us Mr. or Sr. Some people are just mad that they have crappy life's and hate seeing others succed. I just like to tell the mad ones how nice it is to have others buy all my stuff LOL.
Rental Property Investor · Manteno, IL · Member since 2009 · 2k+ posts · 2k+ votes
12y
I look at it as a great problem to have.
My former coworkers love to hear my real estate stories so they get a kick out of it big time. They loved the story about the police coming to my door because one of my houses had caught on fire and they wanted me to come down there. Funny part was they were trying to call and I wasn't picking up because I was playing xbox. :-)
As for family, my aunt and sisters love to hear the real estate stories too. And love to ask me how many houses I'm up to now (25th under contract as of last week). But it never really comes up with my cousins or any other acquaintances and I don't bring it up either.
I only talk real estate with people who enjoying talking real estate. Scott W (another BP member here in Illinois) is the one who I like to get into the details with.
I just know that people who aren't investors simply don't have a real understanding of what it is I'm doing. And I really don't want to take the time to go through it all with them either. Just too much info for most non-investors to care about. :-)
Investor · Sarasota, FL · Member since 2008 · 17k+ posts · 17k+ votes
12y
When someone asks what I do, I just reply that I'm a full-time dad who does some real estate investing with my wife to pay the bills. I haven't (yet) found anyone with enough balls to put me down after that response... :-)
Rental Property Investor · Milwaukee, WI · Member since 2013 · 6k+ posts · 4k+ votes
12y
Yes, one guy who swears by mutual funds tells me I'm a slumlord every time I pick up a new house. Then his friend who is standing by starts asking questions and we get into a 1/2 hour conversation and completely ignore the first guy. :)
Honestly I find to ignore the nay sayers. We also don't advertise it on facebook or general population of friends. Those friends who support what we are doing we talk with openly. If people ask for our help we help them. Otherwise we try not to rub it into anyone's face.
Duncan, That was a great reply. It's a big dose of humility to swallow. When I was starting out I kept it very low key. After getting some of those "oh... you want to be a slumlord" comments I learned to keep it to myself.
Today, I still work a full time job, but with 27 units the atmosphere is completely different. The boss has found a new respect for me. Maybe he has realized I don't need him like I did before.
The biggest hurtle was my parents. They were just not on-board and never will be. They are worried I might loose everything. Like I had anything to start with. :)
Rent-On
Man I wish I would have used that come back when my dad called me crazy for risking "everything" 20 plus years ago when I started this business. I can just hear it now....." Gee dad, you're worried about me losing it all in this "risky" venture, I guess if this deal goes bad I will have to relinquish everything I own and all my savings. I hope the $200 that I have in savings and my crappy $2500 car will cover it all.." Priceless :)
I have to tell you Bill, I laughed out loud when I read your post. Funny thing is, 20 years later, No one seems worried that I don't know what I'm doing anymore, at least no one but me. Ha Ha.
Investor · Southeast, MI · Member since 2012 · 2k+ posts · 1k+ votes
12y
I remember when I bought my 2nd house, I inherited the tenants. I was 22 and they were probably late 30's. I was there on a Saturday morning for something and the husband asked me, "Are you going out on your boat later?"
I said, "No. I don't have a boat."
He said (real snotty), "I don't even have a house!"
I guess in his mind, I was supposed to feel bad for him since he was such a loser.
What I've had happen a lot is some one upper will find out that I'm a real estate investor and ask how many houses I have. After I answer, they will say something like, "Big deal. My uncle's friend has 200."
I always say, "Thats great. How many do you have?"
Real Estate Investor · Lewiston, ME · Member since 2014 · 15 posts · 0 votes
12y
Stay positive! Keep on keeping on. I like the approach of kind rebuttals and try to get them involved. If they choose not to thats on them but you have opened the door. Alot of people hear real estate Investor and think you are automatically liquid. Its a lack of knowledge about how much work is involved thats all. Keep your head high and do what you do.
Real Estate Investor · Chicago, IL · Member since 2008 · 1k+ posts · 218 votes
12y
What is there to handle? They are jealous. Great.. make them more jealous and keep doing what you do!
@Mike H. a property caught fire? I need to hear that story.
I get people all the time say I don't understand how little time they have to do things because I don't have to work. Then I have to shrug off that they have no idea how much work and sacrifice went into getting to where I am now.
Congrats Mike on 25 units! What do you say 50 by the end of 2014?
Developer · Santa Clarita, CA · Member since 2008 · 15k+ posts · 10k+ votes
12y
@Tamara R. While I agree that in your work scenario you need to keep your investment life a bit more quiet, I personally feel that not talking about what you do with family, friends, and others you come in contact with limits your ability to let others know what you do which is networking. This networking can bring private investors, partners, deals, referrals. And more. While you will get the negative crap from time to time, simply be bigger than that and take it for what it is, foolishness on their part. You know what you do is profitable and helpful to others and Nothing is wrong with that.