Mixed Sex Tenants in SFR, Good or Bad Idea?

General Landlording & Rental Properties
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Mixed Sex Tenants in SFR, Good or Bad Idea?

Dakota Rholetter
Macon County, NC · Member since 2021 · 18 posts · 5 votes

Hello Bigger Pockets Family!

I have recently been reading the book, The House Hacking Strategy by Craig Curelop and an interesting question that I thought about earlier was:

In a single-family residence where you rent by the room, is it a good or bad idea to have mixed-sex tenants? Or should an investor opt for same-sex residents?

My thoughts here were that if you had both female and male tenants under a single roof, it could cause tension between the tenants, in a good or bad way, but either way could prove to be troublesome for an investor/live-in landlord. 

Though, I do realize there are some laws in place that say you may not request certain genders this is due to the FHA. However, there are laws that say if there is a common space shared between both men and women, you can request one gender or the other.

What are your thoughts?

Best,

Dakota.

1Reply
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Kelly Sennholz
Denver, CO · Member since 2012 · 292 posts · 164 votes
4y
First of all, the comment "If you have a house full of women..." is extraordinarily misogynist. In my experience, the men have far more drama but that is an n of 1.

Secondly, I always rent to people who are neat, responsible, pay their rent, no "issues" such as drinking/drug use/violent romantic partners, etc. The sex or sexual orientation, race, etc. of the person is irrelevant.

C'mon guys, hop into the 2000s.
14Reply
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  • John UnderwoodPro Member
    Investor · Greer, SC · Member since 2014 · 13k+ posts · 17k+ votes
    4y

    I think I would try for same gender to minimize any drama. Of course if you have a house full of young women that potentially lead to drama as well.

    Why not rent to a nice family. This would be the likelyest less problem solution.

    I'm ok with making a little less and having a simpler life.

    Good luck choosing.

    5Reply
  • Dakota Rholetter
    OP
    Macon County, NC · Member since 2021 · 18 posts · 5 votes
    4y
    Originally posted by @John Underwood:

    I think I would try for same gender to minimize any drama. Of course if you have a house full of young women that potentially lead to drama as well.

    Why not rent to a nice family. This would be the likelyest less problem solution.

    I'm ok with making a little less and having a simpler life.

    Good luck choosing.

    Hello John,

    Thank you for your reply, I will definitely take that into consideration. 

    The biggest reason I would find it hard to rent out to a family is because I am planning on doing a house hack on either a SFR or an MFR, if I go with the MFR then it would be no problem to rent out to a family if the unit is large enough. However, if I do a house hack on a SFR it would be a bit harder to rent out to a family. Unless I took one room and rented out the rest of the house to the family, which wouldn't be a horrible idea.

    Again, thank you John!

    -Dakota

    0Reply
  • Don Gouge
    Specialist · Johnson City, TN · Member since 2021 · 139 posts · 146 votes
    4y

    What if you don't know the sexual orientation of your tenants and you rent to people of the same sex but one or more of them are gay?

    1Reply
  • Dakota Rholetter
    OP
    Macon County, NC · Member since 2021 · 18 posts · 5 votes
    4y
    Originally posted by @Don Gouge:

    What if you don't know the sexual orientation of your tenants and you rent to people of the same sex but one or more of them are gay?

    Hello Don,

    That is an excellent question. To which I reply that men and women have different emotional and environmental needs, my major concern with the mixed-sex living situation is when both parties/genders become annoyed with the other in the common areas of the home. 

    I have a friend in college that currently lives in a townhome of 5 males and 2 of which are homosexual, and it is not a problem for him or the other tenants. 

    I don't think that it would be a problem.

    Thank you for your reply!

    -Your Friend, Dakota

    1Reply
  • Kelly Sennholz
    Denver, CO · Member since 2012 · 292 posts · 164 votes
    4y
    First of all, the comment "If you have a house full of women..." is extraordinarily misogynist. In my experience, the men have far more drama but that is an n of 1.

    Secondly, I always rent to people who are neat, responsible, pay their rent, no "issues" such as drinking/drug use/violent romantic partners, etc. The sex or sexual orientation, race, etc. of the person is irrelevant.

    C'mon guys, hop into the 2000s.
    14Reply
  • Bruce WoodruffPro Member
    Contractor/Investor/Consultant · San Diego / Phoenix · Member since 2021 · 12k+ posts · 15k+ votes
    4y
    Originally posted by @Kelly Sennholz:
    First of all, the comment "If you have a house full of women..." is extraordinarily misogynist.

    C'mon guys, hop into the 2000s.

    Everyone has potential issues. Men are more upfront about it rather than being passive aggressive as women can tend to be...

    I wouldn't throw out labels like racist/misogynist, you don't know anyone well enough.

    And no thanks, the 2000s suck so far.....

    4Reply
  • Bruce WoodruffPro Member
    Contractor/Investor/Consultant · San Diego / Phoenix · Member since 2021 · 12k+ posts · 15k+ votes
    4y

    @Dakota Rholetter I wouldn't worry about it...everyone is so screwed up nowadays you don't know who you're getting anyway.....if you limit it to men, are you getting men who were women or women who think they're men?

    Just focus on screening to get the best people you can..... IMHO

    4Reply
  • Scott Mac
    Austin, TX · Member since 2019 · 5k+ posts · 5k+ votes
    4y

    I think I know where this is going:

    4Reply
  • Bruce WoodruffPro Member
    Contractor/Investor/Consultant · San Diego / Phoenix · Member since 2021 · 12k+ posts · 15k+ votes
    4y

    @Scott Mac Perfect!

    1Reply
  • Kelly Sennholz
    Denver, CO · Member since 2012 · 292 posts · 164 votes
    4y
    Bruce, exhibiting open misogyny on a site for rental properties does not bode well. Clearly, your assumptions are belief systems. Again, in my personal experience I have found the drama with guys to be higher but that does not mean I think "all guys are high drama." That would be an illegal and inaccurate assumption. I rent to a lot of guys who are really great, too. Have respect.
    6Reply
  • Bruce WoodruffPro Member
    Contractor/Investor/Consultant · San Diego / Phoenix · Member since 2021 · 12k+ posts · 15k+ votes
    4y
    Originally posted by @Kelly Sennholz:
    Bruce, exhibiting open misogyny on a site for rental properties does not bode well. Clearly, your assumptions are belief systems. Again, in my personal experience I have found the drama with guys to be higher but that does not mean I think "all guys are high drama." That would be an illegal and inaccurate assumption. I rent to a lot of guys who are really great, too. Have respect.

    First , learn the definition: having a personal opinion is not it

    Misogyny (/mɪˈsɒdʒɪni/) is hatred or contempt for women. It is a form of sexism used to keep women at a lower social status than men, thus maintaining the societal roles of patriarchy.[1] Misogyny has been widely practiced for thousands of years. It is reflected in art, literature, human societal structure, historical events, mythology, philosophy, and religion worldwide.

    An example of misogyny is violence against women, which includes domestic violence and, in its most extreme forms, misogynist terrorism and femicide. Misogyny also often operates through sexual harassment, coercion, and psychological techniques aimed at controlling women, and by legally or socially excluding women from full citizenship. In some cases, misogyny rewards women for accepting an inferior status.

     Second, stop preaching to people you don't know.

    5Reply
  • Kelly Sennholz
    Denver, CO · Member since 2012 · 292 posts · 164 votes
    4y
    When you speak this way, you should expect people to comment on it. 

    Federal law prohibits discrimination based on many factors, including
    race, religion, national origin, familial status, disability, and sex.
    0Reply
  • Matt Devincenzo
    Investor · Clairemont, CA · Member since 2011 · 3k+ posts · 2k+ votes
    4y
    Originally posted by @Dakota Rholetter:

    If this is your primary residence you fall under an FHA exemption and you are allowed to use otherwise 'discriminatory' standards like sex and familial status in your decision making. You are not allowed to base a decision on race (that falls under the Civil rights act of 1866), and you cannot advertise discriminatory preferences since there is no exemption for advertising. But when someone applies you can decide based upon those standards.

    6Reply
  • Austin F.
    Investor · MI · Member since 2015 · 227 posts · 478 votes
    4y

    I prefer mixed sex houses, haven't had any issues. Be very upfront about the living situation and expectations, have a system for chores in place and if anyone causes drama of any variety deal with it fast and effectively.

    Edit to add: Don't rent to a family and live in a room with them, that's just weird.

    3Reply
  • Jeroh Odafe
    Rental Property Investor · Phoenix, AZ · Member since 2019 · 15 posts · 9 votes
    4y

    @Dakota Rholetter I'm a guy and as long as you don't see any personal and financial reason as to having a mixed (male and female) living in your sfr, I'll go with it. At the end of the day, you're house hacking to make money and that money is green. It doesn't matter if it's coming from a male or female. Main thing is that the money is coming. You will also learn a lot if you've both genders in a sfr.

    1Reply
  • Will Bodine
    Member since 2019 · 2 posts · 4 votes
    4y

    @Dakota Rholetter been living with a chick the last year and a half. Honestly she is a bit messy but she works 2nd shift so i never see her. She is a nice girl, but if all i have to do is some occasional extra dishes and cleaning and i know it comes with a $400 venmo every month it is an insane deal. Been doing this for the last 18 months now and ive saved more money than i ever have. Also that was my first property and ive bought 2 more since. House hacking propels you

    4Reply
  • Tim DelaneyPro Member
    Buffalo, NY · Member since 2018 · 790 posts · 530 votes
    4y

    @Dakota Rholetter It looks like you are still looking for the house to house hack at this point, so I would suggest you find that first before you worry about details like this. Once you have the property you should vet the tenants based on their income and then since they will also be your roommates, decide who you want to live with. If everyone on BP commented on this post you would still probably end up without a concrete answer since everyone’s experience and opinions are different.

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    6Reply
  • Account Closed
    Member since 2020 · 984 posts · 1k+ votes
    4y

    We have a high percent of problems when renting to gay men, gay women and when renting to just about everyone tenant when they share the unit and share paying the rents. We have a high percent of gay men and women who have relationship problems and they break up and want to break their leases. We get many gay tenants who want to break up and then come to us to see if we can evict their ex-lovers.

    The best tenants are always single men. They move in, stay for many years and never complain about anything. Singe women complain about so many things I still get amazed about what they complain about. Families with 1 or 2 children always stay for a long time. We tend to have a higher percent of problems with teenagers when their parents are trashy and their teenagers run amuck bringing trashy friends to the rental units doing their drugs and trashing the property.

    6Reply
  • Julie Gates
    Real Estate Agent · Savannah, GA · Member since 2018 · 123 posts · 141 votes
    4y

    I am an STR property manager based in Savannah, GA. I understand that renting by the room is great income. However, I also understand the cost to me and my staff when there is guest drama. We do everything in our power to minimize this by dummy proofing the home and giving the guests tons of information. However, the rent by the bedroom situation is one I have avoided. Leaving out any gender issues, you have potential complaints about cleanliness and smells and noises and a thousand other things. I would much rather purchase a smaller home, tailored for solo travelers or families or purchase a large home for groups traveling together. I'm just not sure that the money that would come from renting by the room would be worth it.

    3Reply
  • Theresa HarrisPro Member
    Member since 2019 · 15k+ posts · 11k+ votes
    4y

    As you will be living there, rent to people that you think you will get along with.

    2Reply
  • Ron Brady
    Rental Property Investor · Burlington County, NJ · Member since 2019 · 540 posts · 771 votes
    4y

    @Dakota Rholetter We've had some experience with single-gender and mixed-gender house hacks.  We've had conflict across all of them--a function of the fact that people are living together.  Heck, we have that kind of conflict with our adult children.  We've built it into our management that we have mandatory house meetings when new roommates arrive so as to clarify expectations, even down to writing down and posting who will do what chores when, when people can be noisy or quiet, whether shoes are to be worn in the home or not, etc.  Since house-hacking yields more revenue than some of our other options, we are comfortable managing the inherent conflict.  But, we used to work in middle school and thus we're very comfortable, experienced and fine with working with normal human conflict.  If, on the other hand, dealing with conflict is not your cup of tea, then a different revenue-generation strategy may be in order.  If you want, we can share our house meeting agenda and sample chore charts, just let us know. Good luck!

    8Reply
  • Michael Noto
    Real Estate Agent · Southington, CT · Member since 2008 · 5k+ posts · 3k+ votes
    4y

    @Dakota Rholetter Renting room by room can work while you live there, but I highly recommend against it when you do not occupy. I have never seen it work out in the short term, never mind the long term. We have had to "rescue" properties here in our local market that were in this situation and they take a while to unwind once things go sideways. 

    1Reply
  • Harrison Lopes
    Investor · Philadelphia · Member since 2020 · 27 posts · 16 votes
    4y

    Back when I first got started with an SFH house hack, I rented out the other rooms to both genders with no issues just because it was mixed. Like some have said on here, it's more about actual qualities: cleanliness, pays on time, excessive use of common space vs I stay in my room mostly, introverts vs extroverts, does someone like to cook a lot (they better clean too!), social habits, etc. etc.

    I got a feel for these things during our walk throughs, interviews, and social media research. I had amazing male tenants who went on to be lifelong friends and I've had amazing female tenants who turned out to be more like sisters (we had some really fun chats comparing notes about our respective dating lives at the time). I also had disaster tenants of both genders too. I also roomed with an individual who had a different sexual orientation than me with no issues.

    Short story, I found the actual qualities/vibe of the individual to be more important than their genders.

    Either way, best of luck brother!

    3Reply
  • Kelly Sennholz
    Denver, CO · Member since 2012 · 292 posts · 164 votes
    4y
    Exactly, Harrison. I have a place now with rent by room and I love having an affordable place for people to stay. I picked tenants for their ability to be decent people and nothing else. Every month when they pay the rent they tell me how grateful they are and that is (almost) better than the rent! :) To be able to make an affordable, good place for people to call home.
    2Reply
  • Jay HinrichsBusiness Member
    Real Estate Consultant · Summerlin, NV · Member since 2014 · 45k+ posts · 66k+ votes
    4y
    Originally posted by @Matt Devincenzo:
    Originally posted by @Dakota Rholetter:

    If this is your primary residence you fall under an FHA exemption and you are allowed to use otherwise 'discriminatory' standards like sex and familial status in your decision making. You are not allowed to base a decision on race (that falls under the Civil rights act of 1866), and you cannot advertise discriminatory preferences since there is no exemption for advertising. But when someone applies you can decide based upon those standards.

     yes one of the major advantages of owner occupied and then rent.. you can pick and choose with no worries about what is being discussed.

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    1Reply
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