Tenant Applicants say the dumbest things

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Tenant Applicants say the dumbest things

Robin Grimes
Real Estate Investor · Houston, TX · Member since 2010 · 37 posts · 326 votes

Stupid things Tenant Applicant’s say.

I had renovated a nice 4/3/2 and put it on the market for lease. Here are some of the comments from people who toured the property during the open house or called me from signage.

#1
Young single mother with 3yr old in tow. “My boyfriend will be paying the rent, he said to just go find a place, but I want to rent it in my name, so it will be mine alone.”
I’m thinking: I’m not renting to someone without the verified income to pay the rent. Sorry but a promise from a boyfriend just won’t do.
I’m saying: Here’s a rental application. The application fee is $25 but you should know that I will need to verify income and whoever is paying will need to be on the application and lease.

#2
Middle aged couple with no kids. Wife says “I don’t like the wood floors. If you can put down carpet and repaint to something brighter, we’d be interested. Also you will need to replace the stove.”
I’m thinking: The wood floors are new laminate that I just spent $1400 and two days installing. The paint is all new also. If you want to remodel a house, go buy one yourself.
I’m saying: Here’s a rental application. The application fee is $25. The property is being rented in its newly remodeled condition.

#3
Family. Made appointment and met me at house. Husband says “I need a 3 car garage.”
I’m thinking: The 2 in 4/3/2 stands for TWO car garage. Plus the photos show it’s a two car garage, so why are you here wasting my time and yours? Did you think I was hiding a third garage bay in the back yard?
I’m saying: Here’s a rental application. The application fee is $25. This house only has a two car garage.

#4
Very young guy, young 20’s maybe, called me from sign in yard. He’s parked at house. Says: “ I need a big place for my girlfriend and our 3 month old since we want to have more kids. Could you help me out and rent it to me for $xxx” (about ½ the rental rate).
I’m thinking: So you’re requesting that I contribute half your rent so you can have more kids that you can’t house and support.
I’m saying: I’m happy to provide an application. The application fee is $25. Sorry the rental rate is firm.
.

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Don KonipolBusiness Member
Investor · The Woodlands TX / Avon, CT · Member since 2009 · 6k+ posts · 10k+ votes
14y

Last year I was renting a high end high rise condo - rent $1800 per month. A guy asked if I could give him the first 6 months free and waive the security deposit, after he found a job he would make double payments the second 6 months.

Had a tenant a few years back that signed a 12 month lease. always paid her rent on time. The lease of course becomes a month to month if she stays on. I asked her if she desired to renew the lease at expiration, or would she be moving. She said that since she fullfilled her lease obligation by paying 12 months rent she would stay on. She honestly believed that once she paid 12 months rent the apartment was hers for free for as long as she wanted!

But the best one was the tenant that always had an excuse for late rent. One month he told me he had sent the check in on the 2nd, of course I had not received it by the 5th. When I did receive it it was dated the 6th. Called the tenant and told him if he was going to lie at least pre date the check.
The next month I send the tenant an invoice for the rent, late fee, plus $250. The tenant calls and asks what the additional $250 is for. I told him it was a "lying fee". A couple days later I received the rent, late fee, and an additional $500. Called the tenant to ask why he sent an additional $500. He said he knew he would lie to me again in the future so he was prepaying an additional lying fee! BTW, although he is no longer a tenant and hasn't been for some time, he is now a friend. The entertainment value of this guy far outweighted the aggravation.

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  • Dawn AnastasiPro Member
    Rental Property Investor · Milwaukee, WI · Member since 2013 · 6k+ posts · 4k+ votes
    11y

    Okay, just had a family tour one of my rentals today, and oh geez.

    First of all, the mom walked in and immediately said, "Oh this isn't hardwood floors, this is just cheap laminate!" in a scoffing tone.  No it's not hardwood, it's actually vinyl plank.  Criticize a place when you're 2 seconds in the door, really?

    Then the little girl needed to use the bathroom.  Normally that wouldn't be so bad but after they left I checked the bathroom to make sure the girl hadn't made a mess ... and found that she took a dump in the toilet and didn't flush it!  It wasn't even "solid" either, more liquid-y so it was all over my nice clean toilet.  It took 2 flushes just to get it all down!  Ewwwwww just ew.  If you're like 9 or 10, you should know to flush!

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    1Reply
  • Gabe G.
    Greenwood, IN · Member since 2013 · 346 posts · 93 votes
    11y

    Dawn, hahaha

    This isn't hardwood is it? No of course it's not. They are surprised their 800 dollar a month rent, doesn't buy 15k hardwood floors. Probably better for you anyways, they probably couldn't of rubbed 2 nickels together. Sound trashy.

    1Reply
  • George P.
    Property Manager · Livonia, MI · Member since 2011 · 4k+ posts · 1k+ votes
    11y

    the squirrel tenant moved out and was unhappy about the money we withheld.she send an angry text and said, "you didn't even have curtains when I moved in, isn't it law to have curtains?"

    3Reply
  • Matthew Paul
    Severna Park, MD · Member since 2013 · 7k+ posts · 7k+ votes
    11y
    Originally posted by @Dawn Anastasi:

    Okay, just had a family tour one of my rentals today, and oh geez.

    First of all, the mom walked in and immediately said, "Oh this isn't hardwood floors, this is just cheap laminate!" in a scoffing tone.  No it's not hardwood, it's actually vinyl plank.  Criticize a place when you're 2 seconds in the door, really?

    Then the little girl needed to use the bathroom.  Normally that wouldn't be so bad but after they left I checked the bathroom to make sure the girl hadn't made a mess ... and found that she took a dump in the toilet and didn't flush it!  It wasn't even "solid" either, more liquid-y so it was all over my nice clean toilet.  It took 2 flushes just to get it all down!  Ewwwwww just ew.  If you're like 9 or 10, you should know to flush!

    I have a 7 year old and a 10 year old , they seem to forget to flush all the time .  It now costs them 5 push ups

    10Reply
  • Sylvia B.
    Rental Property Investor · Douglas County, MO · Member since 2014 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes
    11y
    Originally posted by @George P.:

    the squirrel tenant moved out

    Aw..... You're gonna miss her!

    3Reply
  • Steve Babiak
    Real Estate Investor · Audubon, PA · Member since 2009 · 13k+ posts · 8k+ votes
    11y
    Originally posted by @Sylvia B.:
    Originally posted by @George P.:

    the squirrel tenant moved out

    Aw..... You're gonna miss her!

    No, BP is going to miss her - at least the tales about her ... :)

    13Reply
  • Aaron Montague
    Rental Property Investor · Brookline, MA · Member since 2013 · 1k+ posts · 777 votes
    11y

    I would really like to stop having fodder for this forum.  But 'tis the summer rental season.

    Email for a 1/1:

    -----
    thisplaceistooexpensivefortheareanooneisgoingtorentitfromyou

    this.place.is.too.expensive.for.the.area.no.one.is.going.to.rent.it.from.you

    this place is too expensive for the area no one is going to rent it from you
    -----

    None of those corrections are mine.  That's the body of the email.  Freaking new comp sci students:)

    Same 1/1

    Her: My boyfriend and I are looking to move.  He is getting discharged from the army in mid August.  Can I have half rent until he moves in?

    Me: No.  Full rent starting on the first.  First/Last/Security to move in.

    Her: Ah, come on.  He'll be here mid August.  (Bear in mind we're having this discussion around an August 1st move in date.)

    Me: Again, no.  If this is a problem, please find another place.

    Her: God damn you!! I told you he'll be out in August and I need to wait for him in Rutland.

    Me: Why are you waiting for him in Rutland?  There isn't a base on this side of the state.

    Her: Yes there is you a$$hole!!  He's stationed at Marble Valley Air Base.  He's done with his army stint in mid August.

    Me: (having realized her boyfriend is in jail)  Ah, Marble Valley.  Good place to be employed.  Sorry for the confusion.  What does...

    Her: Mike.

    Me: Do at our fine local establishment?

    Her: He couldn't tell me.  He says it is top secret.

    Me: I understand completely.  I will need the Social Security numbers and some previous address information for you and your boyfriend.

    Her: Well... I can't give you that.  I did say it was secret about him.

    Me: (pretty much laughing out loud at this point) Without that I can't help you, sorry.

    Marble Valley "Air Base"

    Usually they get you.  But once in a while you get to mess with their heads a bit.  I'm still not sure if she is colossally stupid or if she thought I might be :)

    8Reply
  • Matthew Paul
    Severna Park, MD · Member since 2013 · 7k+ posts · 7k+ votes
    11y

    I had a call today , " I see you say no pets , but what about chickens ?"   No animals I tell them .   He says , they arent pets , my kids like fresh eggs and they stay outside in a chicken coop .   

    I told him , that I would have to think about it ,  but he still wants to view the property .

    1Reply
  • Samantha Hiscock
    Investor · Barre, VT · Member since 2015 · 129 posts · 96 votes
    11y
    Originally posted by @Aaron Montague:

    Usually they get you.  But once in a while you get to mess with their heads a bit.  I'm still not sure if she is colossally stupid or if she thought I might be :)

    I read half of your post and was frantically trying to figure out where the hell an air base would be in Rutland before I realized there was a prison of the same name! I imagine this Mike guy truly has her convinced hes in the military and not in jail. The level of intelligence in that town seems significantly lower than the remainder of the state. I couldn't imagine having tenants there, you're much braver than I!

    2Reply
  • Aaron Montague
    Rental Property Investor · Brookline, MA · Member since 2013 · 1k+ posts · 777 votes
    11y
    Originally posted by @Samantha Hiscock:

    I read half of your post and was frantically trying to figure out where the hell an air base would be in Rutland before I realized there was a prison of the same name! I imagine this Mike guy truly has her convinced hes in the military and not in jail. The level of intelligence in that town seems significantly lower than the remainder of the state. I couldn't imagine having tenants there, you're much braver than I!

     Rutland is a great example of what I would call a class C area.  Low motivation, low incentive tenants, but safe with quality services.  You have to work for your money, but 20% Cash on Cash is the result.

    0Reply
  • Kimberly T.
    Investor · Colorado Springs CO · Member since 2014 · 535 posts · 253 votes
    11y

    Listed our apartment Friday at lunch, had dozens of calls for the next couple of days, and over 2 dozen showings.  Good time to be a landlord!

    One call that stood out (I'm paraphrasing and summarizing here):

    Caller: (after asking some basic info about the unit) What is the criteria to get the unit?

    Me: You have to fill out an application, then we verify income, check credit, background, etc.

    Caller: What is your maximum for credit?

    Me: Maximum?  The highest score I can get.

    Caller: No, I mean like what's your maximum, what will you take?

    Me: You mean minimum?  Well, we have a cut-off score, do you know what your score is? (I don't tell them our cut-off until they tell me they score... I've noticed their "estimated score" always comes in above our cut-off if I tell them ahead of time)

    Caller: Yeah, well, yeah, my score is 589.

    Me: Sorry, that's below our cut-off. (Our cut off is 600, no exceptions)

    Caller: Well, this isn't that great of a place (I think he's referring to the neighborhood, which is probably C+ or B- class), you aren't going to get a score higher than that. (said in a very condescending tone)

    Me: Well, ok. <<click>> (I hung up)

    Sorry, I'm not going to debate a person on what quality of tenant I can get.  Didn't even want to bother telling him that the last 3 tenants we've gotten in that building all had credit scores over 600 (it's only a triplex, and we've only owned it 5 years, so we don't have too many vacancies).  Btw, got it rented over the weekend to someone with a score over 600, so now it's 4 tenants with scores over 600.  My husband joked that i should call that jerk back and let him know we got someone with a higher score. :)

    *************************************************

    Also had someone put in an application with an obviously fake SSN/TIN (he wrote 999-99-9999).  Seriously, we told them we check credit, did he not think that would come back as an issue?  Who does that?

    **************************************************

    My husband reminded me of a call he got a year or so ago when we were advertising, and I don't think I posted it here before:

    Caller: (after asking a few other questions) What is the security deposit?

    My husband: It's equal to one month's rent.

    Caller: Want to try again?

    My husband: Excuse me?

    Caller: Want to try again?

    My husband: <<click>> (hangs up)

    I just don't understand people who are so rude/entitled, do they really think that makes us want to rent to them?

    5Reply
  • Dawn AnastasiPro Member
    Rental Property Investor · Milwaukee, WI · Member since 2013 · 6k+ posts · 4k+ votes
    11y

    Rent is $595/month.  Person comes in, says they are living with their father but he wants to get his own place.  I ask for income.  Well, he is getting $290/month from unemployment.  "Is this your only income?" I ask.

    "No, no, I'm also self-employed as a music producer!  I make about $200 - $300 a month doing that!"

    I'm sure he's proud of himself for being self-employed, but a total income of $590/month will NOT be enough to rent a $595/month apartment.

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    1Reply
  • George P.
    Property Manager · Livonia, MI · Member since 2011 · 4k+ posts · 1k+ votes
    11y
    Originally posted by @Dawn Anastasi:

    Rent is $595/month.  Person comes in, says they are living with their father but he wants to get his own place.  I ask for income.  Well, he is getting $290/month from unemployment.  "Is this your only income?" I ask.

    "No, no, I'm also self-employed as a music producer!  I make about $200 - $300 a month doing that!"

    I'm sure he's proud of himself for being self-employed, but a total income of $590/month will NOT be enough to rent a $595/month apartment.

     so they are $5 short. no big deal.

    8Reply
  • Gabe G.
    Greenwood, IN · Member since 2013 · 346 posts · 93 votes
    11y

    Tenant comes to see my vacancy.

    We have normal conversation. They ask about criteria to get into the home.

    I say I am looking for 3X rent/income and no evictions.

    Prospective tenant says well we had an eviction in 2013, but it wasn't out fault, the place had black mold(likely story).  Then the tenant follows that up and says we have "great" rental history.   

    Haha. You had an eviction 2 years ago where a landlord had to force you out of the home, but you have a "great" rental history. Sure

    1Reply
  • Bob E.
    Queen Creek, AZ · Member since 2014 · 2k+ posts · 1k+ votes
    11y

    @Gabe G. Tenant did have a great rent history.  For Them!  Nothing beets living rent free, until you have to pay the price.....

    3Reply
  • Matthew Paul
    Severna Park, MD · Member since 2013 · 7k+ posts · 7k+ votes
    11y

    I was just mowing at my 2/1 thats right across the street from an Elementary school . They must have been showing new teachers around , the lot was full .  I have a sign out front " for rent ". This young couple stops buy a and pulls in and asks me if I knew anything about it .  " Sure , I am the landlord "  So they ask if they can see it .  They look and the wife likes it and the fact that she can walk to work , " How much is it "  I tell them its $ 1200 a month .  " No ,really how much "  Its $ 1200 a month .  Now both of them get this puzzled look on their face , I look at their car and see PA tags .  I ask where they are from?  " Northern Pa "   They say.         Oh ,did you check the rents before you took the job ?  " well no , we figured they would similar"   I ask them whats their Max they can spend , and they tell me $ 850 .       We rented a house like the one across the street for  $ 800 a month .   Well in this area ,that house rents around $ 1900 .   Both ask why so expensive ?

    I told them they dont get it , its not expensive here in Maryland , this is normal . Where they lived in Northern Pa was cheap and they didnt realize it . 

    1Reply
  • Sylvia B.
    Rental Property Investor · Douglas County, MO · Member since 2014 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes
    11y

    $1200/mo for a 2/1 is not normal, it's outrageous. You just don't realize it.

    6Reply
  • Max T.
    Investor · Philadelphia, PA · Member since 2015 · 3k+ posts · 3k+ votes
    11y
    Originally posted by @Sylvia B.:

    $1200/mo for a 2/1 is not normal, it's outrageous. You just don't realize it.

     Every market is different. I get 1430 for my 2/1. 

    4Reply
  • Account Closed
    Investor · Indianapolis, IN · Member since 2009 · 100 posts · 13 votes
    11y

    This is hilarious...thanks all for the laughs!!!!!!!!

    0Reply
  • Matthew Paul
    Severna Park, MD · Member since 2013 · 7k+ posts · 7k+ votes
    11y
    Originally posted by @Sylvia B.:

    $1200/mo for a 2/1 is not normal, it's outrageous. You just don't realize it.

     I my area, its on the cheap end .  The Annapolis area is expensive . Go on zillow and search rentals in 21122 and 21146 .  Mine is one of the least expensive in 21122 AND its in a blue ribbon school district .  

    0Reply
  • Dan N.
    Investor · Austin, TX · Member since 2013 · 113 posts · 30 votes
    11y

    With my most recent vacancy I had an applicant whose current address didn't even exist on Google maps. I asked them to show me a piece of mail with their name and that address. They said they would and I never heard from them again. 

    0Reply
  • Mark Ferguson
    Property Manager · Jacksonville, FL · Member since 2014 · 21 posts · 7 votes
    11y
    Some pretty good ones. Working for walmart I had heard a lot of these with interviews, tardiness and call out excuses. But I recently took over managing 100 unit complex in a D class property in a D class neighborhood. Recently ran by ex owner for 9 years, creating a complex known as "last chance arms" for tenants with multiple felonies who couldn't go anywhere else but there or become homeless. My favorite so far is a openly gay cross dressing man apply for a unit, who I was walking through the application as I don't care what you do as long as you qualify. Proceeds to tell me that his criminal history is years ago when he was on "cracka cocain a" but is all better now. And tells me 15 minutes on entire bad habits. ( assault/ Robert w firearm/ grand theft / intent to sell/ possession) all on record. My favorites have to be the tenants that I came down on and offered cash for keys / let them break lease to leave. They come back looking for a place to live!!! I tell them sure if they pay their previous balance, first and last month rent as deposit and first month rent. They immediately go from super nice/sorry to almost instant racial slurs and cussing. Also I have learned that you only put one person on the lease but background check both! It's cheaper to evict one person and when it's a couple and a domestic abuse case happens it's very cut and dry. The funniest is 3 days later they plead for their significant other to come back while they still have a black eye/swollen face. And I agree the what do I consider felonies was funny at first but I actually have limited my Felonies to drugs and assaults! I am just now getting enough traction to attract felony free tenants!!! Also the first few times I rented to out of state tenants who show up and the look on their face is priceless! And listening to representatives of free healthcare/free phones really blows my mind what is taught to low income areas. "Republicans want to steal your free food/money/healthcare." "Vote democratic to keep living the good life." The things you learn!
    4Reply
  • Sylvia B.
    Rental Property Investor · Douglas County, MO · Member since 2014 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes
    11y

    I knew I'd get some responses if I poked the high rent bear. 

    @Matthew Paul @Max T. I realize that you guys can get that much and higher, but it's still outrageous.

    1Reply
  • Matthew Paul
    Severna Park, MD · Member since 2013 · 7k+ posts · 7k+ votes
    11y
    Originally posted by @Sylvia B.:

    I knew I'd get some responses if I poked the high rent bear. 

    @Matthew Paul @Max T. I realize that you guys can get that much and higher, but it's still outrageous.

    Sylvia , I look at it a bit differently , where I am is normal , where you are its Cheap.

    Around me a cheap little house in a C plus neighborhood is $ 175,000  and it needs work

    2Reply
  • Max T.
    Investor · Philadelphia, PA · Member since 2015 · 3k+ posts · 3k+ votes
    11y
    Originally posted by @Sylvia B.:

    I knew I'd get some responses if I poked the high rent bear. 

    @Matthew Paul @Max T. I realize that you guys can get that much and higher, but it's still outrageous.

     Then my mortgage is "outrageous" but I wouldn't tell the bank that because "outrageous" is just a matter of perspective.  

    1Reply
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