Tenant Applicants say the dumbest things

Cory Adams

Investor · Tampa Florida · Member since 2013 · 68 posts · 30 votes

11y

Originally posted by @George P.:

the squirrel tenant is moving out. this is what she just texted "rats under porch. I cover ther hole yesterday, today new hole. For ur info."

i will miss this nutbag.

Perhaps you could offer a 'Service Snake' in order to take care of the rats.

This is such a great thread.

Steve Babiak

Real Estate Investor · Audubon, PA · Member since 2009 · 13k+ posts · 8k+ votes

11y

Originally posted by @Cory Adams:

Originally posted by @George P.:

the squirrel tenant is moving out. this is what she just texted "rats under porch. I cover ther hole yesterday, today new hole. For ur info."

i will miss this nutbag.

Perhaps you could offer a 'Service Snake' in order to take care of the rats.

This is such a great thread.

Squirrel lady already moved out, so too late for that suggestion ;)

Sylvia B.

Rental Property Investor · Douglas County, MO · Member since 2014 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes

11y

Originally posted by @Cory Adams:

Originally posted by @George P.:

the squirrel tenant is moving out. this is what she just texted "rats under porch. I cover ther hole yesterday, today new hole. For ur info."

i will miss this nutbag.

Perhaps you could offer a 'Service Snake' in order to take care of the rats.

This is such a great thread.

Don't joke - Man with snake in restaurant calls it a service animal

NIXA, Mo. - Customers at a restaurant say an unexpected guest in a nearby booth was unappetizing and downright scary. It was carried in the door and allowed to stay through dinner because the man wearing the snake called it his service animal.

Troy H.

Greensboro, NC · Member since 2015 · 129 posts · 30 votes

11y

Originally posted by @Robin Grimes:

Stupid things Tenant Applicant’s say.

I had renovated a nice 4/3/2 and put it on the market for lease. Here are some of the comments from people who toured the property during the open house or called me from signage.

#1
Young single mother with 3yr old in tow. “My boyfriend will be paying the rent, he said to just go find a place, but I want to rent it in my name, so it will be mine alone.”
I’m thinking: I’m not renting to someone without the verified income to pay the rent. Sorry but a promise from a boyfriend just won’t do.
I’m saying: Here’s a rental application. The application fee is $25 but you should know that I will need to verify income and whoever is paying will need to be on the application and lease.

#2
Middle aged couple with no kids. Wife says “I don’t like the wood floors. If you can put down carpet and repaint to something brighter, we’d be interested. Also you will need to replace the stove.”
I’m thinking: The wood floors are new laminate that I just spent $1400 and two days installing. The paint is all new also. If you want to remodel a house, go buy one yourself.
I’m saying: Here’s a rental application. The application fee is $25. The property is being rented in its newly remodeled condition.

#3
Family. Made appointment and met me at house. Husband says “I need a 3 car garage.”
I’m thinking: The 2 in 4/3/2 stands for TWO car garage. Plus the photos show it’s a two car garage, so why are you here wasting my time and yours? Did you think I was hiding a third garage bay in the back yard?
I’m saying: Here’s a rental application. The application fee is $25. This house only has a two car garage.

#4
Very young guy, young 20’s maybe, called me from sign in yard. He’s parked at house. Says: “ I need a big place for my girlfriend and our 3 month old since we want to have more kids. Could you help me out and rent it to me for $xxx” (about ½ the rental rate).
I’m thinking: So you’re requesting that I contribute half your rent so you can have more kids that you can’t house and support.
I’m saying: I’m happy to provide an application. The application fee is $25. Sorry the rental rate is firm.
.

Hilarious! Thanks for the post.

Elizabeth Maille

Property Management and Investor · Fort Lauderdale, FL · Member since 2015 · 43 posts · 19 votes

11y

I have a rental in a college town that I'm renting out by room (which most people don't read think it's the whole condo) and I'm not sure what is happening today but I've gotten some interesting phone calls/emails.

First one of the day went like this "Hi, I saw your listing for your 3/2 condo. I am already outside the door right now. Can I come in and see it since I'm here".

"Just for clarification I'm renting out by room. It's a roommate situation. And just because I own the place doesn't mean I'm always there. You need to schedule a time to visit".

"Oh. Okay. I was hoping to see it now. Bye." Sorry for the inconvenience. Next time call BEFORE you get to the property.

Another one today. "Hi I'm calling about the 3/2 condo you have for rent? Can I come see it today?"

I hear kids in the background so again I say "Just for clarification, I'm renting out the rooms individually not as a whole".

"Oh, just one room? Hmmm. Well I would like to see the place anyway. I have the address, I will be over sometime today, see you later". Hangs up… Umm no you won't see me later. You can't just show up whenever you feel like it. I don't just sit at my rentals all day waiting for people to show up. I have other things to do.

And this on "I'm I'm calling about the 3 bedroom condo you have for rent"

"Hi, I'm renting out each room individually so there are roommates. Are you still interested?"

"Oh, so only one room for $825, not 3? Oh. I didn't see that in the ad. Let me see. Do you accept kids? We can take one room, we don't need them all". You want to share a room with your kid(s) in a condo with two other roommates you know nothing about?

I also had an email from someone today who was asking the right questions and had passed my preliminary screening questions until I mentioned signing a lease. His response was "I'm not interested anymore. I don't want to sign any type of lease". I told him good luck finding a place to live that doesn't require a lease.

And these are just a handful of calls I've gotten today. Not to mention the girl that showed up with here mom (very late) but they refused to get out of the car because they didn't like the area… Guess they didn't like the neighbors kids jumping into the pool with plastic chairs unsupervised? I have no clue. It's a safe area, I live there myself. Oh well. On to the next applicant...

3 Reply

Gail K.

Augusta, GA · Member since 2014 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes

11y

My voice mail describes our 3 bedroom, 3 bath house; rent is $900 a month. Come home to a message asking me to call them back.

Me: Hello; you called regarding a house we have for rent; I'm contacting you back regarding this.

Them: This is the house at (names the address), right.

Me: Yes

Them: How many bedrooms does it have?

Me: (thinking: oh, we're going that route on this call); Three bedrooms

Them: Let me write that down (two minutes goes by). How many bathrooms?

Me: Three bathrooms. And the rent is $900 a month (thinking I'll jump ahead on this one).

Them: Let me write that down (three minutes goes by). What's the address again?

Me: (Let's try to shorten this) Tell me what you are looking for

Them: Umm, Uh...a three bedroom, two or three bathroom house.

Me: May I ask what your income is.

Them: Oh, I get $733 a month in disability.

Me: Uh....the rent on this one is $900 a month but you only have $733 in income. This isn't going to work out. You need some extra money for utilities, gas and food.

Them: Oh, we get food stamps too.

Gail

Robert Nason

Lowell, MA · Member since 2014 · 260 posts · 99 votes

11y

I had a tenant recently asking that I not run credit and criminal check on him in exchange he would pay $10.00 more a month. Rent is $1400.00????? Also said his troubled were in the past-- said he was clean and sober for 30 days?? Wish I could see people over the phone and prescreen financials

Podcast Guest on Show #29

Dawn AnastasiPro Member

Rental Property Investor · Milwaukee, WI · Member since 2013 · 6k+ posts · 4k+ votes

11y

I have a question at the end of my application: "Describe why you would be a good tenant."

Part of some of the answers I have gotten:

"I'm single so wont be no fighting not that a couple should fight."

"The house won't get tore up."

"I pay rent on time and am not a bad person. My word is bond." (James Bond?)

"I am a respect person."

Luka Milicevic

Real Estate Agent · Nashville, TN · Member since 2015 · 2k+ posts · 2k+ votes

11y

Wow! Haha these posts are absolutely hilarious.....and scary!

I haven't had such issues yet as I only have one rental, but I will be sure to come back here some day with interesting stories.

Jack B.

Rental Property Investor · Seattle, WA · Member since 2014 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes

11y

Man I thought I was the only one.

Family asks if I can move the like new washer and dryer to the shed so they can put their in from storage. Ummm. no.

Same family (guy with no teeth, a felony and a drug misd.) asks if he can put up a fence in the front, tear down the kitchen wall, etc. My response was, I think you might be more happy buying a house than renting one from others, with all your remodeling ambitions and all.

Have had people ask to pay me in appliances as long as I discount the rent for them. Gee thanks buddy...

Do you accept Section 8 is my favorite. That and the people who want to argue with me about no dogs policy. What about a small dog? Is it a dog? Well, yes, but...Sorry, no dogs, I'm sure you can find a place that does allow your dog though. Good luck to you...

I think a lot of these people forget that considering I charge well below market rents, people are beating down my door to rent for me and since I'm the owner, they can pound sand.

My favorite with contractors besides getting them to show up is: them showing up late, after going silent for a week before the appointment, and wondering why I'm not there after a week of trying to confirm with them but not getting a hold of them. Oh, my cell phone died. Great, what about your email? Did that die too, because I've been trying to get a hold of you forever.

Then they sit there for an hour waiting for me to arrive instead of beginning measurements, etc. Then they forget some of the measurements and we have to come back to get them and then go back to the store. Then they take 3 hours to try to install a dead bolt lock on a new door they are installing and can't figure out how, then tell me they need to post pone the job because I cost them an hour while they where waiting for me.

Jack B.

Rental Property Investor · Seattle, WA · Member since 2014 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes

11y

I forgot to mention the people who email me: "I have two evictions, and need you to come $200 lower in rent because my baby daddy just went to prison and I can no longer afford rent at market prices and support our 1 year old."

Me: Delete....delete...delete.

3 Reply

Jack B.

Rental Property Investor · Seattle, WA · Member since 2014 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes

11y

Originally posted by @Steve Vaughan:

Just yesterday. My ad for a little 2nd floor apt states at the end, "please tell us if this rental is far from your work (or source of income), how many folks in your household and if you have any pets." I don't leave my #. Anonymous CL e-mail only at first.

Girl's e-mail says: "...not far from my work. Just me and my cat."

I e-mail for more info. She gets back to me and gives me her# and the #for her fiance' & his kid. "BTW, is the yard fenced for the dog?" She completely got mixed up who she was e-mailing. Would've had 3 people a cat and a dog by end of week 1. Gotta love that anonymous e-mail!

That reminds me of the time a tenant I had an appointment with called me to cancel claiming she got called into work. Minutes later she called and left me a voice mail. On said voicemail she thought she was talking to her boyfriend, because she was laughing about making up a story about how she got called into work and how I bought it, etc. Little does that little Einstein know her voice mail was played aloud for weeks at my office making fun of her.

4 Reply

Clayton Sneider

Investor, engineer · Longmont, CO · Member since 2013 · 55 posts · 36 votes

11y

Jack B:

"Family asks if I can move the like new washer and dryer to the shed so they can put their in from storage. Ummm. no."

That seems like a fairly reasonable request really, if they are otherwise good applicants.

Clayton Sneider

Investor, engineer · Longmont, CO · Member since 2013 · 55 posts · 36 votes

11y

I advertised a house on Craigslist and clearly stated it was in Longmont CO. It also showed the location on the map on Craigslist.

I had a lady call me and we set up an appointment to look at it. I mentioned at least twice during the phone call where the property was located, because she kept asking. I show up at the house on time. She texted my asking to verify the address, so I again give her the address. She calls me 20 or 30 minutes late confused about where the property is. She is in Boulder, about 20 minutes away. I tell her again that the property is in Longmont. She asks me again, "so this is in Boulder right". Nope, Longmont. She still seems confused. I was thinking to myself "how can somebody be this stupid?"

5 Reply

S Harper

Real Estate Investor · Denver-metro, CO · Member since 2008 · 58 posts · 15 votes

11y

I had an appointment show up 35 minutes early one evening with her two elementary aged kids (I had another showing there at that time). The younger kiddo was running in circles, kicking his sister repeatedly, and turning the lights on and off in all of the rooms while Mom leaned against the wall. The mom filled out the paperwork, but said she needed her husband to see it. 15 minutes past the appointment time I asked her if she could contact her husband to see how close he was, but she couldn't because their phones had been turned off that morning.

She didn't have the application fees - could I hold the place until Friday?

They had been living with her in-laws for over 10 years - so they have great rental history. No, they don't pay rent to them. (The application she had filled out states family landlords do not count towards history even when you are paying rent)

So - even though you haven't paid rent for over 10 years you can't pay the $70 total in app fees, you can't pay your cell phone bill, and she asked if having 2 cars repo'ed would count as negative credit history. But she told me they can afford $1500/mo in rent.

4 Reply

Matthew Olszak

Real Estate Broker · Chicago, IL · Member since 2015 · 1k+ posts · 2k+ votes

11y

Date - The 10th of the month.

Her: How much is the rent?

Me: $950/mo.

Her: And when is rent due?

Me: On the first (thinking she would move in on the 1st, poor assumption).

Her: Ok, so I'll just need like half the rent then. How much is the security deposit.

Me: No, if you move in the 15th rent will run until the 15th of the next month. So you need the full amount + 1 month security deposit or 45% move in fee.

Her: WELL HOW DO YOU EXPECT ANYONE TO HAVE A FULL MONTH'S RENT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MONTH! I'll give you half until the 1st to move in, then pay full rent after that. You don't need a security deposit because I have references that I pay on time.

Me: No.

Her: *Click*

Uff, I suppose I set my expectations too high to expect a full month's rent upon lease signing [rolling eyes]. Maybe something in my ad screamed "this is a new landlord, come ye professional tenants". Next...

3 Reply

Matthew Olszak

Real Estate Broker · Chicago, IL · Member since 2015 · 1k+ posts · 2k+ votes

11y

Originally posted by @Jack B.:

Do you accept Section 8 is my favorite.

Be careful with this one - your state may have laws against discrimination of legal income source.

George P.

Property Manager · Livonia, MI · Member since 2011 · 4k+ posts · 1k+ votes

11y

our agent said someone was concerned with Lead paint in the home. mind you, this home and 100% of the homes within 6 miles radius are all built before 1965.

Can I be forced to accept Section 8

Linda WeygantPro Member

Investor and CPA · Arvada, CO · Member since 2015 · 2k+ posts · 3k+ votes

11y

Originally posted by @Matthew Olszak:

Originally posted by @Jack B.:

Do you accept Section 8 is my favorite.

Be careful with this one - your state may have laws against discrimination of legal income source.

Section 8 isn't technically income. It's assistance. Additionally, you can't be forced into the program in any state. See this forum discussion for more information:

Podcast Guest on Show #244

Can I be forced to accept Section 8

Matthew Olszak

Real Estate Broker · Chicago, IL · Member since 2015 · 1k+ posts · 2k+ votes

11y

Originally posted by @Linda Weygant:

Originally posted by @Matthew Olszak:

Originally posted by @Jack B.:

Do you accept Section 8 is my favorite.

Be careful with this one - your state may have laws against discrimination of legal income source.

Section 8 isn't technically income. It's assistance. Additionally, you can't be forced into the program in any state. See this forum discussion for more information:

https://www2.illinois.gov/dhr/xxFilingaCharge/Docu...

"These laws define source of income as the lawful manner by which a person supports oneself and his or her dependents."

See slides 4,5,6 - As my original post suggested, its of course state specific, but in certain states and municipalities, section 8 is considered income for purposes of discrimination. Federal law does not cover income however. I'm not sure of the OP's state's laws, but I throw this out there for any new landlord to be sure to check their own state's laws.

Adam Anderson

Developer · Palm Harbor, FL · Member since 2015 · 307 posts · 96 votes

11y

I have a property that rents for $1,000/m and for some reason everything its marketed for rent I get calls from people asking how much it is per week?

I always reply "it's $1,000/m" they say "I see that but how much per week"?

Are they looking for a different number or asking me to do the math for them???

George P.

Property Manager · Livonia, MI · Member since 2011 · 4k+ posts · 1k+ votes

11y

i called a sign that was advertising for rent and he said "it's $320 per week". i said, "ok, so how much per month?"

i was the driving and the last thing i felt like doing was math just to understand his non standard response. then he said, "i give the weekly amount since most people like to budget weekly what they can spend on their housing".

Roy N.Pro Member

Rental Property Investor · Fredericton, New Brunswick · Member since 2013 · 7k+ posts · 4k+ votes

11y

Originally posted by @Adam Anderson:

I have a property that rents for $1,000/m and for some reason everything its marketed for rent I get calls from people asking how much it is per week?

I always reply "it's $1,000/m" they say "I see that but how much per week"?

Are they looking for a different number or asking me to do the math for them???

Adam:

It's a valid question, to which you could respond "we only rent on a monthly-basis". During the summer months, we will rent furnished rooms in our student rooming house by the week. Rent is $425.00/month, but $120/week (to cover the extra administration & turnover costs).

Adam Anderson

Developer · Palm Harbor, FL · Member since 2015 · 307 posts · 96 votes

11y

Thanks Roy, I guess I could bring in a few more bucks doing weekly but don't think its the kind of tenant I'm looking for. Do people sign 1 year leases an collect rent weekly?