Do you Ever Feel “ Landlords guilt “ Evicting Someone?

Do you Ever Feel “ Landlords guilt “ Evicting Someone?

Rental Property Investor · Phila, PA · Member since 2018 · 554 posts · 118 votes

Situation: My Tenant Stopped Paying and has violated my “ rent to own “ agreement. He is 20 days late, total violation, contract is now void. I have to evict as he said “ I do not have any funds to pay that rent “

- I feel as if I have no choice but to evict, can’t pay. Can’t stay. I hate making enemies though, especially because he was a year into the agreement already

- Have you ever evicted someone and felt a sense of Guilt?

- After eviction, have you ever ran into the person? Out in public, etc... just in general.

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Handyman · Pittsburgh, PA · Member since 2018 · 5k+ posts · 13k+ votes
7y

@Cameron Riley

This may sound self-serving, and perhaps it is, but I have some experience and this is what I think I've learned.

Every society has limits. When members of that society exceeds those limits and harms that society, they come up against some of the institutions that work to bring them back to within those limits or expel them completely.

I don't agree with all the precepts and treatments of the Alcoholics Anonymous program, but there is a psychological concept of "rock bottom" in the program that I do think has a lot of value. According to this theory, addicts can't really commit to getting better until they touch rock bottom in their lives, realize the harm they're doing to themselves and others, and consciously decide that that going on as they have in the past is not an option.

Also in addiction treatment, there is a concept of "enabling." An enabler is a figure in a troubled person's life who enables the addict to continue on in their troubled ways well past the point that they should have seen the error of their ways, shielding them from the full impact and consequences of their behavior. The enabler does this for a variety of reasons, many of them well-meaning.

For me, every eviction I have been involved in has been more than anything else a process of stepping away from enabling and clearing the way to rock bottom for a tenant who needs to seek help or treatment but refuses to do so because they're terrified, they're proud, or they're blind to the consequences of their ways.

You have to decide, as a landlord, if you're dealing with a person who will seize on an opportunity to change their behavior if you give it to them, or whether you're dealing with a person who will not change until they hit rock bottom. If you decide on the latter, you're not doing them any favors standing in their way, and enabling them is ultimately harming them.

An eviction triggers a whole host of social services and safety mechanisms that are there to help the troubled tenant. That notice on the door may be the only way the tenant will ever actually first reach out for help from the people who are there to help them.

Now let's look at this case and what you've told us. Your tenant is 20 days late on the rent and he doesn't have the money to pay. He has been there for a year. How did he end up in this situation? It didn't happen yesterday. It took a series of bad breaks to get where he is, I'm sure, but it also took some bad decisions on his part, and he is responsible for those. If you DON'T evict here, you're offering one of two things -- an opportunity for this person to radically change their behavior or an opportunity to keep on as they have been keeping on.

Which opportunity do you think you're offering? If it's not the first, then you evict. Because ultimately, it's the kindest thing you can do. You evict because that's the only message that will really get through the psychological blinders this guy has been living with. Do it decisively, do it according to the law, give this person every opportunity to get the help he needs to change his life.

I don't feel guilty today about the evictions I have initiated and seen through. I did not make the decision to evict in anger or out of spite, or based on what would financially benefit me the most. I stepped away from enabling an adult not to hit the rock bottom they needed to hit in order to make their decision to change.

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  • Rental Property Investor · Phila, PA · Member since 2018 · 554 posts · 118 votes
    7y

    @Alissa Engel

    What is your direct field?

  • Rental Property Investor · Phila, PA · Member since 2018 · 554 posts · 118 votes
    7y

    @Tyler

    Fair enough!!!

  • Rental Property Investor · Hamel, MN · Member since 2015 · 54 posts · 48 votes
    7y

    NO.  A lease is a binding contract, and the owner has sacrificed a lot to own that property and maintain it.  If they won't take care of it or pay to live there, that deprives some other (more worthy) tenant from having a nice place to live.  

  • Investor · Philadelphia, PA · Member since 2015 · 3k+ posts · 3k+ votes
    7y
    Originally posted by @Cameron Riley:

    @Max T.

    Well my process is a crappy process and I’ve been trying to remodel it and fight a right one

    Hard to do though when it seems every landlord has different standards and such. Everyone has recommended a slightly different process

    - No, I didn’t do the due diligence I should have, because he had a nice down payment.

    I have updated my minimum qualifications

     Sounds like you're learning from this and improving your procedures. Nothing like a little guilt to motivate you. Keep it up!

  • Rental Property Investor · Harrisburg, PA · Member since 2018 · 369 posts · 406 votes
    7y
    Originally posted by @Cameron Riley:

    @Doug Pintarch

    Hey! Does Harrisburg really have a vacation rental scene?

    Actually, Cameron..maybe!  I have never looked into it. We might, because of the Senators Baseball team and a couple museums and HersheyPark 10 miles away...I would imagine Hershey is much better for that though.   Ours is a beach condo in Lewes/Rehoboth Delaware.   :)

  • Real Estate Broker · Boston, MA · Member since 2017 · 55 posts · 22 votes
    7y

    In Massachusetts it can take up to four months to get a tenant out,  I learned that I got in the real estate game to make money and not give free shelter.  Don't be late on my rent especially when you are making car payments and posting fancy dinners,, vacations on social media. I will not even pick up the phone to call you. I will have a constable deliver a 7 day notice to quit and go from there! 

  • Real Estate Broker · Cleveland, OH · Member since 2017 · 719 posts · 658 votes
    7y

    @Cameron Riley usually it's better to have new Tenant rather than keep the old ones: that's why landlords are tired - Rent is much lower than market and these tenants are hard to deal with. They might paying late or having complains (usually there is deferred maintenance when you buy from a tired landlord).

    It's almost always better to make them lave rather than later evict them. Also, such properties need updates: Nobody sells shiny new house with a discount.

  • Rental Property Investor · Phila, PA · Member since 2018 · 554 posts · 118 votes
    7y

    @Robert Shedden

    What class do you work in

  • Rental Property Investor · Phila, PA · Member since 2018 · 554 posts · 118 votes
    7y

    @Irina Belkofer

    Great quote! Saw a home today!

    It was 20k

    5 bedrooms

    tenant has COMPLETELY trashed it

    Going to offer 3k!!!! And get it! Owner lives in Florida and is 60 years old and TIRED

  • Rental Property Investor · Phila, PA · Member since 2018 · 554 posts · 118 votes
    7y

    @Max T.

    Max, may I ask your age?

    You look younger! Nice to see your view of things

  • Rental Property Investor · Phila, PA · Member since 2018 · 554 posts · 118 votes
    7y

    @Javier Marchena

    Haha! Thank you Man!

  • Specialist · Columbus, GA · Member since 2018 · 28 posts · 13 votes
    7y

    @Cameron Riley

    I usually prefer to handle all of my affairs in writing; as much as I can anyway. In person, I have a tendency to say too much and try to explain myself (guilt/sympathy/make myself feel better?). At the end of the day, some of these tenants are “professional tenants” aka they know exactly how to lie and what to say. My uncle is one of those types that can give you the sob story and make you give your own damn kidney to him.

    In writing, I can carefully make my response while also providing certain citations to legal code that we have to adhere to. In his case, with no lease, I had to provide at least 30 days before I could file the eviction. So he was sent certified mail notifying him pursuant to the laws of the state of Georgia, you are notified to vacate within the next 30 days otherwise an eviction will be filed on the next business day. I had already provided him a similar notice in writing but in person, but to have proof of that, I sent one certified afterwards with return receipt so I get the green signature card back with the signature.

    We all as business owners have to also remember the adage of “loose lips sink ships”. So in most cases, “less is more” on what you say.

    Professionally and respectfully in my opinion doesn’t mean anything near “warm and fuzzy”. It’s by the book, maybe a quick “I’m sorry but the law is the law”. The phrase “my hands are tied” also works well.

    There were also MANY circumstances that led to this with my relative that made the situation A LOT easier to stomach. And after I went inside and found out about the flea infestation, any remorse I had quickly went away. Lol

  • Rental Property Investor · Phila, PA · Member since 2018 · 554 posts · 118 votes
    7y

    @Dennis M. Haha cruel world!!!

  • Rental Property Investor · Erie, PA · Member since 2018 · 6k+ posts · 9k+ votes
    7y

    Sometimes it helps to bring a visual aid to the property  in an effort to help the  tenant understand the implications of the eviction and ease the burden  . When you pull up ,you toss out a  big cardboard refrigerator box onto the sidewalk in front of the unit . Then you knock on the tenants door ..when he answers the door , you point to the box out front and tell him that’s about to be his new home because he’s being thrown out for being a loser and a total waste-oid  . This can be very therapeutic and a real stress reliever in these situations . 

  • Real Estate Broker · Cleveland, OH · Member since 2017 · 719 posts · 658 votes
    7y
    Originally posted by @Dennis M.:

    Sometimes it helps to bring a visual aid to the property  in an effort to help the  tenant understand the implications of the eviction and ease the burden  . When you pull up ,you toss out a  big cardboard refrigerator box onto the sidewalk in front of the unit . Then you knock on the tenants door ..when he answers the door , you point to the box out front and tell him that’s about to be his new home because he’s being thrown out for being a loser and a total waste-oid  . This can be very therapeutic and a real stress reliever in these situations . 

     One landlord got killed because he knocks on his Tenants door.

    If you get as far as an eviction, let the sheriff to handle that. 

    No need to gloat - just be human 

  • Rental Property Investor · Erie, PA · Member since 2018 · 6k+ posts · 9k+ votes
    7y
    Originally posted by @Irina Belkofer:
    Originally posted by @Dennis M.:

    Sometimes it helps to bring a visual aid to the property  in an effort to help the  tenant understand the implications of the eviction and ease the burden  . When you pull up ,you toss out a  big cardboard refrigerator box onto the sidewalk in front of the unit . Then you knock on the tenants door ..when he answers the door , you point to the box out front and tell him that’s about to be his new home because he’s being thrown out for being a loser and a total waste-oid  . This can be very therapeutic and a real stress reliever in these situations . 

     One landlord got killed because he knocks on his Tenants door.

    If you get as far as an eviction, let the sheriff to handle that. 

    No need to gloat - just be human 

    Its a joke , I would not actually do that !

  • Real Estate Broker · Cleveland, OH · Member since 2017 · 719 posts · 658 votes
    7y
    Originally posted by @Dennis M.:
    Originally posted by @Irina Belkofer:
    Originally posted by @Dennis M.:

    Sometimes it helps to bring a visual aid to the property  in an effort to help the  tenant understand the implications of the eviction and ease the burden  . When you pull up ,you toss out a  big cardboard refrigerator box onto the sidewalk in front of the unit . Then you knock on the tenants door ..when he answers the door , you point to the box out front and tell him that’s about to be his new home because he’s being thrown out for being a loser and a total waste-oid  . This can be very therapeutic and a real stress reliever in these situations . 

     One landlord got killed because he knocks on his Tenants door.

    If you get as far as an eviction, let the sheriff to handle that. 

    No need to gloat - just be human 

    Its a joke , I would not actually do that !

     That was my guess :))

    I was really puzzled - you're usually very considerate about landlording 

  • Rental Property Investor · Rockford, IL · Member since 2018 · 84 posts · 140 votes
    7y
    Originally posted by @Cameron Riley:

    @Robert Shedden

    What class do you work in

    All my tenants are C+ at best... But they are all inherited at this point. I will be screening new tenants shortly, hopefully I'll end up with some B and higher.

  • Los Angeles, CA · Member since 2018 · 27 posts · 1 vote
    7y

    @Shaun James

    Very well said!

  • Rental Property Investor · Member since 2018 · 483 posts · 956 votes
    7y

    No! However, I have only evicted one tenant in 35 years. Call me lucky because I only use the best property managers.

  • Investor · Chicago, IL · Member since 2009 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes
    7y

    If you feel guilty, then you are in the wrong business.  Evictions are something that most landlords will experience.

  • Real Estate Appraiser · Isabella lake, CA · Member since 2018 · 628 posts · 491 votes
    7y

    Do you feel guilty about divorcing that bleeping bleep years ago?

    I don't.

  • Rental Property Investor · Martinsburg, WV · Member since 2017 · 111 posts · 81 votes
    7y

    @Cameron Riley I think it is ok to feel empathy, compassion even. Don't give those qualities up on your path to wealth, financial freedom, or whatever your goal is. Stay respectful, but be firm. It's unfortunate, but don't let it become your misfortune.

    Keep your investment foremost in your mind. Chances are you are doing it not just for yourself, but for your family as well.

  • Member since 2019 · 12 posts · 2 votes
    7y

    I have not had the displeasure of evicting anyone as of yet.  My two cents is that nothing is free (and I don't mean that to be mean to the poor sap getting evicted). You are providing housing to to the market and someone else will need that home.  But it only works if everyone pays.  The guy getting evicted is stopping "some single mother somewhere" getting a roof over her head.  I guess that is some mental gymnastics, but I hope it helps you!

  • Rental Property Investor · Phila, PA · Member since 2018 · 554 posts · 118 votes
    7y

    @Blaine B.

    Was it a self eviction?

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