Do you Ever Feel “ Landlords guilt “ Evicting Someone?

Do you Ever Feel “ Landlords guilt “ Evicting Someone?

Rental Property Investor · Phila, PA · Member since 2018 · 554 posts · 118 votes

Situation: My Tenant Stopped Paying and has violated my “ rent to own “ agreement. He is 20 days late, total violation, contract is now void. I have to evict as he said “ I do not have any funds to pay that rent “

- I feel as if I have no choice but to evict, can’t pay. Can’t stay. I hate making enemies though, especially because he was a year into the agreement already

- Have you ever evicted someone and felt a sense of Guilt?

- After eviction, have you ever ran into the person? Out in public, etc... just in general.

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Handyman · Pittsburgh, PA · Member since 2018 · 5k+ posts · 13k+ votes
7y

@Cameron Riley

This may sound self-serving, and perhaps it is, but I have some experience and this is what I think I've learned.

Every society has limits. When members of that society exceeds those limits and harms that society, they come up against some of the institutions that work to bring them back to within those limits or expel them completely.

I don't agree with all the precepts and treatments of the Alcoholics Anonymous program, but there is a psychological concept of "rock bottom" in the program that I do think has a lot of value. According to this theory, addicts can't really commit to getting better until they touch rock bottom in their lives, realize the harm they're doing to themselves and others, and consciously decide that that going on as they have in the past is not an option.

Also in addiction treatment, there is a concept of "enabling." An enabler is a figure in a troubled person's life who enables the addict to continue on in their troubled ways well past the point that they should have seen the error of their ways, shielding them from the full impact and consequences of their behavior. The enabler does this for a variety of reasons, many of them well-meaning.

For me, every eviction I have been involved in has been more than anything else a process of stepping away from enabling and clearing the way to rock bottom for a tenant who needs to seek help or treatment but refuses to do so because they're terrified, they're proud, or they're blind to the consequences of their ways.

You have to decide, as a landlord, if you're dealing with a person who will seize on an opportunity to change their behavior if you give it to them, or whether you're dealing with a person who will not change until they hit rock bottom. If you decide on the latter, you're not doing them any favors standing in their way, and enabling them is ultimately harming them.

An eviction triggers a whole host of social services and safety mechanisms that are there to help the troubled tenant. That notice on the door may be the only way the tenant will ever actually first reach out for help from the people who are there to help them.

Now let's look at this case and what you've told us. Your tenant is 20 days late on the rent and he doesn't have the money to pay. He has been there for a year. How did he end up in this situation? It didn't happen yesterday. It took a series of bad breaks to get where he is, I'm sure, but it also took some bad decisions on his part, and he is responsible for those. If you DON'T evict here, you're offering one of two things -- an opportunity for this person to radically change their behavior or an opportunity to keep on as they have been keeping on.

Which opportunity do you think you're offering? If it's not the first, then you evict. Because ultimately, it's the kindest thing you can do. You evict because that's the only message that will really get through the psychological blinders this guy has been living with. Do it decisively, do it according to the law, give this person every opportunity to get the help he needs to change his life.

I don't feel guilty today about the evictions I have initiated and seen through. I did not make the decision to evict in anger or out of spite, or based on what would financially benefit me the most. I stepped away from enabling an adult not to hit the rock bottom they needed to hit in order to make their decision to change.

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  • Rental Property Investor · Leander, TX · Member since 2018 · 183 posts · 264 votes
    7y

    Does the water company feel guilty for turning off the water for non payment?

    Does the bank feel guilty for foreclosing?

    Does Walmart feel guilty for arresting shoplifters?

    ...

    Why should it be different for a landlord?

  • Rental Property Investor · Centralia, WA · Member since 2017 · 75 posts · 85 votes
    7y

    Oh man, I had to reply to this after talking with my property manager in Cleveland.  My upstairs tenant, a single lady, is sooooo behind in rent.  She still owes $2200 in back rent.  We have been very patient with her for 6-8 months after her back surgery.  She kept saying that she would pay the balance off piece meal which she did but it just wasn't enough.  We gave her so much time to catch up.  Basically, the downstairs tenant, Section 8, is paying off the mortgage of my property and I haven't received any income at all.  So, we gave her a three day notice to vacate but she'll be out by the 30th Apr.  She said she had nowhere to go but, again, she had her opportunities.  I hate to do that to her but I'm in real estate to make money.  There's a balance between profitability and being a responsible, compassionate landlord but I need to make money off this property.  This is just my business philosophy.  It's us (real estate investors/landlords) vs them (tenants) and I choose us.   

  • Real Estate Agent · Oakland, CA · Member since 2018 · 54 posts · 42 votes
    7y

    Do the banks feel bad about forclosing your house because you don't have the rental income to pay the mortage? 

  • Rental Property Investor · Phila, PA · Member since 2018 · 554 posts · 118 votes
    7y
    Originally posted by @Nathan Hall:

    @Cameron Riley I think it is ok to feel empathy, compassion even. Don't give those qualities up on your path to wealth, financial freedom, or whatever your goal is. Stay respectful, but be firm. It's unfortunate, but don't let it become your misfortune.

    Keep your investment foremost in your mind. Chances are you are doing it not just for yourself, but for your family as well.

    Doing it strictly for financial freedom 

    goal is own 80 units by age 32  

  • Rental Property Investor · Phila, PA · Member since 2018 · 554 posts · 118 votes
    7y
    Originally posted by @Louis W.:

    Do the banks feel bad about forclosing your house because you don't have the rental income to pay the mortage? 

     NEVER!!

  • Rental Property Investor · Phila, PA · Member since 2018 · 554 posts · 118 votes
    7y
    Originally posted by @Account Closed:
    Originally posted by @Tim Rostro:

    Oh man, I had to reply to this after talking with my property manager in Cleveland.  My upstairs tenant, a single lady, is sooooo behind in rent.  She still owes $2200 in back rent.  We have been very patient with her for 6-8 months after her back surgery.  She kept saying that she would pay the balance off piece meal which she did but it just wasn't enough.  We gave her so much time to catch up.  Basically, the downstairs tenant, Section 8, is paying off the mortgage of my property and I haven't received any income at all.  So, we gave her a three day notice to vacate but she'll be out by the 30th Apr.  She said she had nowhere to go but, again, she had her opportunities.  I hate to do that to her but I'm in real estate to make money.  There's a balance between profitability and being a responsible, compassionate landlord but I need to make money off this property.  This is just my business philosophy.  It's us (real estate investors/landlords) vs them (tenants) and I choose us.   

     If certain people had their way, you would be subsidizing their entire existence out of compassion for their poor life choices.

     SAD REALITY!

  • Patti RobertsonBusiness Member
    Property Manager · Virginia Beach, VA · Member since 2016 · 2k+ posts · 2k+ votes
    7y

    The two instances I have not felt guilt, but a feeling of helplessness were the two instances I had to evict HUD VASH (Veteran) housing assistance recipients. In both cases both the VA caseworker and I did everything we could possibly do in our power to assist and try to get the tenant's family members to assist the individual to no avail. One went to jail after every other tenant in my building and the tenants on both sides of my building got a restraining order against him. He was put in jail repeated times for restraining order violations (I believe due to being paranoid and not taking his meds, but I'm based that only on observation). Finally he was put in jail for too long to keep his rent payments up and had essentially abandoned the lease and we had no choice but to process an eviction.

    In the other, the guys rent was something only like $12/month, but he never paid it.  I was the PM, not the owner, and the owner was OK with letting the $12 slide.  This guy, also in a small multi-unit (8 plex) became a nuisance with his fellow tenants with his collections of grocery carts holding collected cans, his excessive traffic into his apartment, etc.  At first I thought he may be selling drugs.  After an inspection with a copy- that the tenant requested - we believed he was actually running a small prostitution ring of sorts (one woman and a young girl were constants there) out of the apartment.  He was never charged with anything, but wouldn’t stop the behavior. The owner eventually decided to evict over the accumulated amount of the rent due because the tenant would not clean up his nonsense behaviors.  

    Other than these two who clearly had mental issues going on, most people we evict have been given plenty of reasonable options. Sometimes they are just in a rough spot and should have made the decision to move to something more affordable on their own.  Most people prefer to wear blinders though and believe some miracle will happen, so they fail to take the actions they should, so we have to.

  • Brick, NJ · Member since 2013 · 36 posts · 17 votes
    7y

    I can’t say that I do. My overall message is “I didn’t evict you, you evicted yourself”.

  • Member since 2018 · 14 posts · 7 votes
    7y

    @Cameron Riley

    I’ve felt that way in the past but they don’t care if you can’t pay your mortgage. You have to just change the way you think of that. You bought the house to make money. You made the sacrifice. Evict them and move on.

  • Rental Property Investor · Dallas, TX · Member since 2018 · 34 posts · 20 votes
    7y

    Nope. No guilt. They broke the agreement. This is not a charity, it’s a business. I may feel bad. If your tenant have issues paying rent, you can connect them to community resource which help them to pay rent.

  • Rental Property Investor · Buffalo, NY · Member since 2017 · 257 posts · 130 votes
    7y

    I feel great after eviction....like there is some rule of law and justice. But the people I've evicted were terrible people...not just good tenants that fell on hard times. 

  • Investor · Crown Point, IN · Member since 2014 · 177 posts · 84 votes
    7y

    a lot of time eviction comes down to a damned if you do damned if you don't situation, at least with payment. 

    they don't have the money to stay, and it sucks to have to tell them they need to go. If you allow them to stay you just bring on more issues. 

    if you allow them to stay and don't evict, yes you look like the good guy for a little while, but you end up doing a disservice to both you and your tenant. In a lot of cases you put yourself in a position where you will more than likely never see that money, and you place the tenant in a position where they have the amount owed building up to a sum that they don't have any hope of ever being able to pay. 

    I can't say I've ever had regrets to evicting anyone, though the story of hardship that many have does weigh on you. The most I have done is referred tenants to places to get help, like financial assistance / credit counseling, county or other government programs that may help them. In the end though, it's up to them to take action and look for help. You can't make them fix their issues, and there is no benefit in feeling guilty because they didn't try to make their situation better. 

    after eviction I've really only ever run into them in court. A lot of this was when I was pursuing judgments for unpaid rent and/or damage. I reallied this was a fruitless effort though. I got the impression most will try to avoid you. The only tenants I know I've run into in other places were ones that overall were good tenants. 

  • Steve RozenbergPro Member
    Specialist · Houston, TX · Member since 2015 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes
    7y

    I think if you can always remember you are running a business and there are policies and procedures in that business it can take the emotions out of it. If you are a self manager or a property manager you still have a responsibility to run it as a business for the owner of the property. If you own the property you need to take off the owner hat and realize at that moment you are working for the owner and need to do what is best for them. Also be very careful bending the rules because you and the tenant have contract called a lease. This means you must adhere to what is written in there. If you do not you cold be the person that violates the contract first and not the tenant.

  • Software Engineer · North New Jersey · Member since 2015 · 56 posts · 25 votes
    7y

    Its fine to feel emotion as long as it doesn't drive your business. But you are on average not doing someone a favor with allowing them to get away with not planning for the future.

  • Gina SternPro Member
    Investor · Boca Raton, FL · Member since 2019 · 1k+ posts · 160 votes
    7y

    @Cameron Riley I personally have never evicted anyone but know many landlords who feel no remorse for kicking tenants out for whatever reason and others who feel a lot of guilt. It just depends on the person.

  • Flipper/Rehabber · York, UK · Member since 2013 · 895 posts · 453 votes
    7y

    Wow, that question really touched a nerve. I love that everyone is chiming in on this because I think a lot of us fall into that "feel bad but gotta do business" place.  A lot of the tenants I manage are scraping to get by at very low rent rates and it is hard to watch people struggle. However, I find that by sticking to our policies and sending out the right letters, I get a great response. Just because you send someone an eviction notice doesn't mean you will evict, it makes them sit up and notice that you are serious about what you do and in most cases I've seen they pay up. Keep an eye on your big vision and what steps will get you there. It's fine to have compassion, but as some have said, enabling someone's poor decisions is no good for either side.

  • Livermore, CA · Member since 2019 · 32 posts · 2 votes
    7y

    Why do you feel guilty?

    Like other people mentioned already, it is business. Tenants do not have funds to pay rent, they need to move out no matter what.

    Your property is not free house or public shelter to stay.

    In my case, Bad tenant gave me bounced check so I hired lawyer and filed eviction; waiting for court trial date. Cannot believe bad tenant filed answer? 

    I learned very expensive lesson first time eviction. But I will keep moving forward.

    You need to file eviction fast; dont wait too long and dont give too much time to tenants who dont pay.

    Nothing is free!!

  • Glendale, AZ · Member since 2018 · 32 posts · 11 votes
    7y

    no, i have had hesitation on doing it and every time, for me, it cost me money

  • Real Estate Agent · Cupertino, CA · Member since 2016 · 4k+ posts · 1k+ votes
    7y

    You are running a business. You need to be human and explain each step of the process so they understand the consequence. Those who try to take advantage of you need to disengage from them.

    Property management is not meant for everyone.


  • Member since 2016 · 13k+ posts · 12k+ votes
    7y

    All evictions are self inflicted. Landlords give tenants the option to pay or leave. In the event they choose option #3, eviction, that is a tenants choice not a landlords choice. I see no reason for a landlord to have either compassion or guilt towards someone that chooses to inflict that on a person that has been providing them housing.

    I personally view non payment of rent as a morally criminal act, not legally, but would obviously like to see it as criminal in the eyes of the law.

  • Rental Property Investor · Monroe, WA · Member since 2018 · 177 posts · 98 votes
    7y

    @Cameron Riley it is amazing that your heart is in the right place. I know exactly how you feel and often lead with my heart! Bottom line is that rentals are a business and you have to go good business! Use your good heart as you can when you can and keep your business flowing!

  • Naperville, IL · Member since 2018 · 330 posts · 357 votes
    7y
    Originally posted by @Cameron Riley:

    @Nancy P.

    Good story and I can kind of relate!

    God bless you

    Anyways, what was the purpose of being at your property at midnight?

  • Rental Property Investor · Phila, PA · Member since 2018 · 554 posts · 118 votes
    7y

    @Sam Shueh

    Property management IS for everyone. It has l be. Or you make no money

    Either way, good response . Thank you

  • Naperville, IL · Member since 2018 · 330 posts · 357 votes
    7y
    Originally posted by @Cameron Riley:

    @Nancy P.

    Good story and I can kind of relate!

    God bless you

    Anyways, what was the purpose of being at your property at midnight?  She was to be out by noon.  She wasn't.  She had to move in with her mom until another Section 8 property came along that suited her.  She threw out a lot of her furniture.  I don't know how much loser boyfriend helped but he was nowhere in sight when she was finally ready.  I should have said "I'll meet you over there tomorrow"  but I had workers coming in plus I'm a sap.  What was most annoying is that from noon on she kept saying "one more hour".  She HAD to know it would take much longer...I could have taken a nap or something!

  • Investor · New York, NY · Member since 2013 · 20 posts · 8 votes
    7y

    Always remember your're running a business first above all else. You entered an agreement with them and you've kept up your end. Eviction is a necessary tool that protects you, your investment and best interests. Look out for yourself first. 

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