Do you Ever Feel “ Landlords guilt “ Evicting Someone?
Rental Property Investor · Phila, PA · Member since 2018 · 554 posts · 118 votes
Do you Ever Feel “ Landlords guilt “ Evicting Someone?
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This may sound self-serving, and perhaps it is, but I have some experience and this is what I think I've learned.
Every society has limits. When members of that society exceeds those limits and harms that society, they come up against some of the institutions that work to bring them back to within those limits or expel them completely.
I don't agree with all the precepts and treatments of the Alcoholics Anonymous program, but there is a psychological concept of "rock bottom" in the program that I do think has a lot of value. According to this theory, addicts can't really commit to getting better until they touch rock bottom in their lives, realize the harm they're doing to themselves and others, and consciously decide that that going on as they have in the past is not an option.
Also in addiction treatment, there is a concept of "enabling." An enabler is a figure in a troubled person's life who enables the addict to continue on in their troubled ways well past the point that they should have seen the error of their ways, shielding them from the full impact and consequences of their behavior. The enabler does this for a variety of reasons, many of them well-meaning.
For me, every eviction I have been involved in has been more than anything else a process of stepping away from enabling and clearing the way to rock bottom for a tenant who needs to seek help or treatment but refuses to do so because they're terrified, they're proud, or they're blind to the consequences of their ways.
You have to decide, as a landlord, if you're dealing with a person who will seize on an opportunity to change their behavior if you give it to them, or whether you're dealing with a person who will not change until they hit rock bottom. If you decide on the latter, you're not doing them any favors standing in their way, and enabling them is ultimately harming them.
An eviction triggers a whole host of social services and safety mechanisms that are there to help the troubled tenant. That notice on the door may be the only way the tenant will ever actually first reach out for help from the people who are there to help them.
Now let's look at this case and what you've told us. Your tenant is 20 days late on the rent and he doesn't have the money to pay. He has been there for a year. How did he end up in this situation? It didn't happen yesterday. It took a series of bad breaks to get where he is, I'm sure, but it also took some bad decisions on his part, and he is responsible for those. If you DON'T evict here, you're offering one of two things -- an opportunity for this person to radically change their behavior or an opportunity to keep on as they have been keeping on.
Which opportunity do you think you're offering? If it's not the first, then you evict. Because ultimately, it's the kindest thing you can do. You evict because that's the only message that will really get through the psychological blinders this guy has been living with. Do it decisively, do it according to the law, give this person every opportunity to get the help he needs to change his life.
I don't feel guilty today about the evictions I have initiated and seen through. I did not make the decision to evict in anger or out of spite, or based on what would financially benefit me the most. I stepped away from enabling an adult not to hit the rock bottom they needed to hit in order to make their decision to change.
152 Replies
- Member since 2019 · 1 post · 2 votes7y
Hello! This actually is my first posting to this site. I have read all of your comments and they all seem to have the same ideology. That the renter is automatically a knowingly using your good nature against you as the property owner toward their own benefit, and that they consequently should be treated without any respect or hope of reconciliation of the relationship they have established with you. Not every tenant is created equally. I realize you all must know that but your answers I have read are for the most part quite callous and it would seem as though all humanity has left the building. Comparing a place of residence for a family to that of a purchase of food at Walmart is misguided and dangerous thinking. I live in a very disadvantaged area. There are no big companies left to work for around here. The requirements of the ONLY property management company in town require 3x the rent to their clients to even get into a place. There are so many homeless here they occupy every possible vacant space behind stores, in ditches, anywhere they can find. I have wanted to provide a chance to these people. And surely there are those that truly are not trying. But I have some hope when I see a young woman emerge from the woods near my home with her Wendy's uniform on and head out to walk to work each day. This is the kind of person we should think of before blindly assuming someone is trying to take us for something. Once you evict someone it is almost impossible for that person to find anywhere that will rent to them. So they live in their cars if they have one. There is no way to recover from that eviction until someone gives them a chance. I realize it is risky, but if we don't have enough heart to give someone a second chance then who will. I realize the personal risk is there, but we as landlords also have the duty to maintain an "emergency fund" for just such occasions. Do not criticize those making minimum wage at Wendy's for not being able to save money, when we ourselves do not have any savings to cover the investments we have made. You can't help everyone, but you can't turn a blind eye to someone who is really trying either. It is a cruel world. That doesn't mean we all have to be. Look in your heart, THEN look in your wallet.
@Cameron Riley
I understand your thoughts. But, no, I rarely feel bad about eviction. Remind yourself, YOU didn't cause this.
Their inability to pay is strictly on their end. In occasional cases, there is an unexpected financial issue, a medical problem, or a job loss. However, much more regularly, like 90-95% of the cases I experience, it's just poor choices by tenant. They spent their money elsewhere, with zero regard for a major priority in life - their home. They bought the newest iPhone, a $200 pair of shoes, a new car, or other material item.
I say I rarely feel guilty. These reasons aforementioned are why. Let me also say, this is after I've tried to work with tenant. Giving them every reasonable opportunity to catch up.
Ask yourself this:. Would your bank feel bad about foreclosing on you if you couldn't pay? (And that bank is likely a multi-million or BILLION dollar company, more than capable of "helping you out"). Business is business, my man.
- Brookfield, WI · Member since 2016 · 191 posts · 108 votes7y
You should call bs. Simply put, Do you have a car? Cell phone? heat? You can need a place to live first, everything else is secondary. I had a problem tenant until I hired a good property manager, he explained this mentality to me. It took a bit of time, and a couple late fees + eviction notices, and now he's a model tenant, pays BEFORE the 1st every month, even though his payment date is the 5th. Also, you might be surprised once the eviction notice is sent how quickly he suddenly finds the money. Your notice should go out at 5 days late, not 20. Or, a late payment notification with fee at day 5, eviction notice on day 10 at the most. I suspect your "guilt" is more a bit of dread since you have to find a new tenant/buyer.
Good luck
No problem if you choose to operate a charity. Unfortunately your approach will not do well in this business. Your tenants will quickly suck you dry.
A emergency fund is not intended to provide free housing to dead beats. It is possibly a cruel world but not my problem to resolve. If there are no jobs in your area then their situation is 100% self inflicted for not relocating to where they can find descent jobs. If you really want to help people become a social worker.
My heart and my wallet are not on speaking terms.
- Specialist · Jonesboro, GA · Member since 2015 · 16 posts · 9 votes7y
All the money in the world in real estate wont be able to fix what's wrong in your heart if you feel NOTHING when putting a person out on the street. I understand doing what you have to do, but to feel nothing is the root as to why this country is in a crazy place right now. Its business, and you have to do what you have to do, but try to stay a human in this process, even if it's at least when your alone and reflecting on the day.
@Cameron Riley At the end of the day, you are the owner of the property and responsible for all required expenses and bear many risks to maintain and provide housing to tenants. Sometimes they want you to understand their situation only, however we as property owners carry heavy responsibilities and issues that they do not understand when it comes to late payment or no payment. This is a business so we should not let our emotions distract us from the right things to do. Don’t feel guilty...
@Account Closed
"If certain people had their way, you would be subsidizing their entire existence out of compassion for their poor life choices".
Every tax payer is already being involintarily forced to do this. If I am not mistaken I believe it is referred to as S8.
"Its business, and you have to do what you have to do"
I do not have to do what I do, it is my business that is doing it. A business has no feelings and no emotions, it is not human. How it operates and what decisions are being made is all predetermined in the business plan for operation. Unlike many "landlords" I avoid having to make personal decisions. Strict predetermined operating practices, in this situation, removes all need for "feelings". Always return to the fact that it is the tenants decision/choice to be evicted as opposed to voluntarily moving. Poor life decisions. There is no reason to feel anything although anger and hostility toward the tenant is often unavoidable for many.
- Real Estate Broker · Cody, WY · Member since 2010 · 28k+ posts · 41k+ votes7y
I've never evicted anyone that didn't deserve it. Why would I feel guilty about that?
The DIY Landlord Book4.7247 Reviews - Real Estate Broker · Canton, GA · Member since 2010 · 15k+ posts · 11k+ votes7y
Do residential tenants ever (feel guilty) not paying the rent so you can pay your mortgage? LOL
Seriously the landlord has bills. Even if property is paid off with no mortgage there are ongoing maintenance costs to be covered by rents. If the tenants don't pay in full they don't stay. The landlord is running a business that needs to be profitable unless they are a non-profit company. Now you can run into situations where you might have bought in a really rough area and getting the tenant out a certain time of year and it goes vacant the house gets stripped of everything inside and it is worse sometimes than a tenant leaving. You could have a pro-tenant state with a costly process to get them out or a really slow lease time of the year that is hard to refill back up quickly.
If you do work out a plan do not allow (snowballing). Example rent is 1,000 a month. They have 700 first of month and say hours at second job have been slow and working on charity for the rest in a few weeks or making extra hours. 2 weeks later they only have 100. Now next month 1,000 rent plus 200 is owed for 1,200. Amount of deficiency grows larger and larger until tenant cannot recover and then you start to evict versus a long time ago. Losses can then become larger. It is just like when people file bankruptcy repayment plans. If they could not pay minimal amount before then stretching out a payment plan at even higher amounts for a long period of time the default rate is very high.
- Specialist · Cleveland, OH · Member since 2018 · 1k+ posts · 666 votes7y
@Cameron Riley short answer NO, You / we are not running a charity. Sure if its a couple and one dies then its only natural to feel bad, however must move forward,
- Real Estate Investor · Washington, DC · Member since 2014 · 236 posts · 328 votes7y
If someone you barely knew said "I don't have $2500 to pay my rent this month, will you give me your money to pay my rent?" What would you say to that? What if they said, "I don't have a place to stay, you don't know me very well, but what if you let me live in your property without paying you?" What would you say to that? Just because they are already living there vs asking to live there rent free, what is the difference.
- Rental Property Investor · Phila, PA · Member since 2018 · 554 posts · 118 votes7y
@Blaine B.
Yes indeed there is!
- Member since 2018 · 9 posts · 4 votes7y
@Frank Jiang love how you handled that situation
- Investor · Ocala, FL · Member since 2016 · 299 posts · 110 votes7y
Even worse than evicting for non-payment of rent - my tenant of about 5 years, who deposits his rent in my account early every month, told my insurance inspector he couldn't come on the property (30 acre farm with 2 houses) because his pit bulls might bite him. Needless to say, I was told to get rid of him or lose my insurance policy. I called him ASAP and he begged to stay, offered to pay more rent, etc., but I said he has to move and gave him 30 days as he was on a month to month. Sent a copy of the termination of tenancy letter to Travelers Ins. and a copy of the USPS receipt for the certified letter to him sent the same day. He was begging for more time since he has a lot of farm animals, but I know he can sell them at the small animal sales and just move with his dogs (which I didn't know he had, since I only saw chihuahuas when I was there). I know he won't move and I am going to have to evict him - he won't be able to find another property for that price. I feel bad for him, but I have to do what's right for me (and Travelers would not accept renter's insurance to cover the dogs). Now I am just worried how much damage he will do to the property before I can get him out. BTW, I am selling the place as soon as he's gone.
- Rental Property Investor · Phila, PA · Member since 2018 · 554 posts · 118 votes7y
@Mike Zipf
Mike check your messages
- Rental Property Investor · Phila, PA · Member since 2018 · 554 posts · 118 votes7y
@Marelyn Valdes
It seems like your situation is unique. Just as so many others have unique situations.
I probably wouldn’t have evicted him, he seemed like a great tenant and your property seems to be
“ NICHE “ so it may be hard to find another!
Best of luck
- Investor · Ocala, FL · Member since 2016 · 299 posts · 110 votes7y
@Cameron Riley I have no choice but to evict him and plan on selling the property once I get him out. We have a huge World Equestrian Center that will be marketed heavily in September or October and I have spoken to one of their realtors, who said my place will be ideal for a developer or for someone with major money to set up their trainer and horses while they live in Golden Ocala so they won't have to pay the extremely high prices for tiny farms within the Equestrian Center.
I feel bad every time I have to raise rent, especially if they have children and you know they are in need. But then I think: is the city going to give me a break with quickly raising property taxes? Is insurance going to give me a break? Is the bank going to give me a break with a mortgage at 7% interest rate? Is the water utility company going to give me a break? Are maintenance companies (landscaping, pest, air conditioning) going to give me a break? Are all the repairmen going to give me a break? Since the answer is a resounding “no”, I can’t afford to feel bad for my tenants, as they do not feel bad for me.
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