I've known this guy for ten years. He's very nice but gets pretty saucy when he's had too much to drink. I manage the property next to his and he doesn't like the renters. Even though they are moving out in two weeks, he's called at least 20 times in the last two weeks to complain about them and leaves long, rambling messages. We listen for entertainment purposes.

This was one of his six voicemails left last night and it was the funniest.

My girlfriend was a WWE on TV...