@Thomas O'Donnell I think that what you describe is fairly common for RE investors (I've experienced similar things myself).
First, let's break down the possible reasons for why your old friends act this way, and then I'll provide a few actionable suggestions for what you might do to address the issue...
The issue often begins because people (including RE investors) naturally want to talk about 1) their successes, and 2) what interests them. RE investors are, of course, interested in RE investing--and especially when we first start succeeding at RE, we naturally want to talk about it with everyone. Success is often sweetest when it's shared, so when we succeed at our first house hack, BRRR, etc., our natural inclination is to share that with our friends!
The problem, of course, is that most people are NOT interested in RE investing (hard to imagine, I know!). Moreover, some people aren't good at being happy for their friends' successes--and some people even resent their friends' successes (more on that in a moment).
Side note: This is a big difference between investors and non-investors: As investors, whenever we see someone succeed at investing, our natural tendency is to be curious about how they succeeded--we spend countless hours listening to podcasts and watching YouTube videos about other investors' successes...sometimes, we even pay to learn about other peoples' successes (for instance, we buy books on the topic). A NON-investor reacts the opposite way; they see others' investing success, and they're either disinterested, or actively repulsed. In a nutshell: investors are drawn to other peoples' investing success, and non-investors are often pushed away by other peoples' investing success.
Why are non-investors repulsed by investors' success? A lot of this comes down to the fact that, as a successful investor, you have something your old friends don't have (and if they had it, they would be happy for you!). If your friends were also successful RE investors, they'd be cheering you on, but because they don't have that type of success, they resent you. This phenomenon occurs in other contexts too; for instance, a person who's happily married will be happy for their best friend's happy marriage...but, a person who's unhappily single (or unhappily married) might resent their friend's happy marriage. Someone who's overweight and struggling to get in shape might resent their friend who seems to effortlessly have six-pack abs. etc., etc.
Try to put yourself in your friends' shoes, and it will be easier to understand this type of resentment. For instance, imagine you're working a dead-end job you hate, barely managing to pay the bills, and you see no future for yourself ...but your real estate investor friend has a 7 figure net worth! You work so hard and get nowhere, but your investor friend skates by doing something they love, and they make millions! You drive a clapped-out, twenty year old Civic, but your friend drives a new S class! Your boss makes your life miserable, meanwhile your friend doesn't even have a boss! Why is life so unfair to you!?
...See how easy it would be to become resentful? It's almost unavoidable. In fact, I think it's very important to remember that most of us would become resentful in that scenario! ...It all boils down to: "you have something I don't have, but I wish I had it, and that makes me resent you."
I'm not necessarily saying that's "right", I'm just saying it's how people often naturally behave.
A strange irony is that it's often the resentful people who will ask the successful friend to share what they have (for instance, by asking them for money, or for an opportunity), but when their successful friend gives them what they want, they resent them for that, too! ...life's weird.
So, what can be done?
I'd suggest trying the following three things:
1. Try to empathize with your old friends by understanding why they react this way. Importantly, try to remember that if you were in their shoes (no success, no future, working a job you hate), there's a solid chance you would react the same way--it's just human nature.
2. Cut back on how often you talk about RE investing with your old friends...in fact, don't bring it up unless they bring it up. It's clear that RE investing just isn't common ground you share with your old friends. However, you became friends with them for a reason--you shared common ground on something (e.g.; maybe you liked the same music, maybe you had the same sense of humor, etc.). Think about that common ground, and see if you can use it to re-kindle the old friendships...or, try to find new common ground...
As you do this, keep in mind: being interested in RE investing shouldn't be a prerequisite to friendship (if it is, you'll end up with a very lopsided friend group!). Also, being disinterested in RE shouldn't be viewed as a problem, or character flaw (if it is, you'll start seeing a lot of people as pretty flawed--which isn't an enjoyable way to go through life). There are lots of other things you can find in common with your old friends, while discussing RE investing with your new friends!
3. Speaking of that, try to make new friends who are RE investors (as others mentioned, there are lots of ways to do this--I'd suggest checking our your local REIA).
Doing these three things won't be easy--they take maturity, impulse control, and effort. Also, there's no guarantee of success--no matter what you do, some friendships just aren't made to last (that's just a reality of life that we all face). ...but, put in the effort, and you might find yourself with two very different, but very meaningful friend groups.
Good luck out there!
