What are YOUR fears?
Homeowner · Denver, CO · Member since 2013 · 65 posts · 23 votes
Hi all –
I'm going to start posting here pretty frequently and start a member blog here on BiggerPockets and I want to know what you want to know about starting or growign your business.
What is it that scares you? It doesn't matter if you don't have a business yet and are paralyzed or if you are already killing it and don't know where to go next.
Go ahead and list your fears here. If you don't think you have any, then list your desires because, if you desire something that you don't have, then the only thing holding you back is your fear.
I'm really looking forward to building out a good list and even more excited to helping many of you through any difficulties that you may have.
Happy investing,
Joe
I'm an introvert and have figured out ways to work with my strengths over the years. I think my biggest fear is wondering if it's the right time. I realize there will never be a right time. My biggest fear is knowing the right things to say.
I believe that we overtime can overcome many of these fears, through practice and support. I've dealt with inaction but the way I have gotten over that is listening to experienced investors speak humbly. Witnessing that they don't know everything and they just did it anyway and will figure out the rest. Yes in some circumstances you can mitigate risk but you certainly can't completely eliminate it.
I think meditation before doing something fearful is important. Whenever I have a fear about something, I think through it, all of the worse possible outcomes, then I think of my why.
An inspirational moment occurred to me a few weeks ago. I took my son to the Concert for Valor and we listened to Veterans and their stories of how they risk their lives every day because of honor, because they said they would and because they had a huge enough why. It made my fears feel very minuscule compared to what they face. I laughed at myself when I think that I'm afraid to speak to a seller lol.
Our fears compared to others fears aren't that big at all. Fear = Face Everything And Rise or Face it Explore it Accept it Respond.
I don't fear making bad decisions so much because I trust my instincts and my brain. My actual fear is that I won't be taken seriously by tenants or other professionals because I'm a short female with a high voice. So I'm practicing my assertiveness by being direct, standing up straighter with my chin up, and speaking lower and not smiling, I notice myself furrowing my brow too. Every time I slip back into my old nice and sweet ways I'll get a rude reminder of my weak positioning and it straightens me right back out. It's like I'm developing a Napoleon complex which is fine with me because Napoleon is cool.
I don't fear making bad decisions so much because I trust my instincts and my brain. My actual fear is that I won't be taken seriously by tenants or other professionals because I'm a short female with a high voice. So I'm practicing my assertiveness by being direct, standing up straighter with my chin up, and speaking lower and not smiling, I notice myself furrowing my brow too. Every time I slip back into my old nice and sweet ways I'll get a rude reminder of my weak positioning and it straightens me right back out. It's like I'm developing a Napoleon complex which is fine with me because Napoleon is cool.
Isn't it sad that we have to deal with people who live by intimidation? All my life I've grown up not being a bully or intimidator, but a reasonable person who wishes only to have win-win interactions with others. I learned early on that a vast majority of people will throw their weight around if they can get away with it. Some try to hide it behind a veneer of "nicey-nice" behavior but that only lasts as long as they have someone they need to impress or keep up appearances in front of. Others are so shy and awkward that they appear not to be intimidators, until their situation changes so they gain more confidence, and suddenly they are revealed to be bullies as well.
I can assure you that if you ever deal with me in any business matter, that from a business perspective you will not be treated any differently, and you don't have to adopt a war stance with me. By the same token, I cannot be swayed by such displays either. In fact the more someone attempts to posture with me the less inclined I am to deal with them (unless on a particular business transaction I can enjoy seeing them crumble when I present to them my own proposition, there is nothing more fun than intimidating, or at least greatly infuriating, the intimidators). For me it's all about the matter at hand, regardless of the posturing of the parties involved.
Have you read the book Winning Through Intimidation by Robert Ringer? (new title is To Be Or Not To Be Intimidated after the old title was misinterpreted to be a book about how to intimidate people). This book is not only one of the best books I've ever read in general (and super entertaining) but even involves the real estate business (more specifically, putting deals together for large apartment complexes).
Of course, maybe simply lack of posturing isn't your only problem. Perhaps you are too passive and don't push things forward? This can sometimes encourage others in the transaction to take the reigns if they believe things will fall apart otherwise. This is a separate issue. I wouldn't know of course, since I've never dealt with you.
@Max M.
It's more of a change in my body language to give better first impressions. I don't care if you personally think that you wouldn't treat me differently based on my first impression, I'm in sales and witnessed through my own experience the natural animal reaction that people have to me based on how I act. You can sit at home all day analyzing the implications of what other people do and deciding if it's good or bad or sad, but in the real world people are going to continue doing what actually works for them.
And I'm not interested in getting sucked into replying to an endless stream of your thoughts, so I'm going to quit replying to you after this.
Fear of missing a major problem during inspection when buying.
Fear of underestimating rehang costs.
Fear of placing the wrong tenants.
My father owns an insurance company. He told me this weekend of a claim where someone didn't screen correctly. The renters stole everything that wasn't bolted or glued down. When I say everything, I mean floors where basically all that's left. They even used a waterbed as a puppy mill They surrounded the bed frame in chicken wire (in the master bedroom) and had the puppies in there. He said they didn't sell all the puppies so when they disappeared in the night the owner found dead puppies in the waterbed frame....
@Max M.
It's more of a change in my body language to give better first impressions. I don't care if you personally think that you wouldn't treat me differently based on my first impression, I'm in sales and witnessed through my own experience the natural animal reaction that people have to me based on how I act. You can sit at home all day analyzing the implications of what other people do and deciding if it's good or bad or sad, but in the real world people are going to continue doing what actually works for them.
And I'm not interested in getting sucked into replying to an endless stream of your thoughts, so I'm going to quit replying to you after this.
You're right. I couldn't possibly know the nature of your problem from a single internet blurb. No problemo. Bye!
# -- what follows is a discussion of the presentation above, but is not directed at the poster -- #
Indeed, that is the problem. People do not separate animal instinct from rational decision making, and that's where the issues happen. (this is the reason why it's so easy to make insane profits in business, because so many people make stupid decisions). I've separated those at a very early age when it comes to negotiating things (as long as it doesn't involve life or death type situations). I could not understand for the longest time why people behaved so irrationally. It wasn't until my early 20s that I learned about the basic instincts that drive us subconsciously. I am most certainly not immune to these, however I consider things that involve finances to be a rational endeavor, and so my autopilot social responses would not affect the bottom line of a business negotiation. They affect other things, though.
Interactions on the internet are a separate science altogether. Some of my most profound findings on this subject were confirmed when I actually dealt with fellow gamers (strangers) in an internet cafe where they behaved differently to me in person and differently in game chat (they knew it was me). The difference was astonishing. This man was so nice and friendly in person. But in the game he was trashing me like some random YouTube racist. It wasn't simple trash talk. He was going H.A.M. with both barrels.
So many times have I witnessed the difference in a given person's behavior in person, on the phone, and on the internet. Essentially what the internet does, for many, is reveal the inner workings of someone's ego and/or thought patterns. Things that would never be revealed in person.
In the end I'd say both types of interactions reveal different parts of the grand vault of the human psyche in any given person.
Beware thoughts and abstractions. Some of them have real world application. For instance, negative square roots were a purely abstract concept for many decades, until technological applications for them were found. Who knows what abstractions, thoughts and daydreams have led to real estate being what it is today.
My biggest fear is knowing that I'll be doing business with people who I feel would hate me for what I am, a thinker, and that if I behave too freely it will kill my deals. So I have to be very businesslike in all my dealings.
@Max I updated my post above. I think you should read "How to Win Friends and Influence People". It basically talks about how people don't want to be told your thoughts, because they'll naturally get defensive like I did. So if you want to be more effective with people you need to practice filtering yourself.
It's great to hear that you are in the clear! I'm sure many of us can relate. Sometimes you have to ask yourself which is the lesser of the two evils? We're all just people with oftentimes similar circumstances. When you begin to think of yourself as an advisor/consultant, friend who's there to solve a problem, it really helps to change your perspective.
I'm a science librarian so I know how to do research and analysis data, so I'm not too worried about finding a 'decen't deal. What worries me is being I'm considering the buy and hold is the hold portion. From reading everything I have, it seem to be riddled with potential issues and I keep hearing most landlords don't make it.
My biggest fear is making a bad first time investment, and losing my hard earned money. Bad meaning purchasing in the wrong neighborhood and getting tenants from hell.