Negative reactions from friends and family

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Negative reactions from friends and family

Michael Ryland
Roseville, CA · Member since 2018 · 29 posts · 40 votes

My wife and I are just starting out and now have two rental properties. We are excited about these opportunities so we can’t help but tell those who are close to us. We were sitting down and sharing all of the not so positive reactions and we couldn’t help but laugh at all of the similar comments from different people in our lives. Fear and caution is by far the overwhelmingly common response. I’m sure all of you have had the same responses but I thought it’d be fun to share.

“Ok. Be careful. You remember Ron? He bought 30 properties in Texas. He over leveraged himself and lost a lot of money.”

“Maybe just buy one property and see how it goes first before you buy another one.”

“Wow that’s ballsy. Are you sure you want to take that risk?”

“Wow. I wish I could do that. I wouldn’t know where to start. I’m proud of you.”

“Since when did you become Richie Rich?” (It’s not my money it’s the banks money and I’m making money on the bank’s money.)

“You’re going to be a slumlord!!” (No I’m not. I hate that everyone says that.)

“Oh cool. I could totally live there when I can’t take care of my place any more.” (No mom you can’t. Sorry it’s business.)

Share you’re best responses. Especially the funny and ridiculous ones.

Gary Keller’s book The Millionaire Real Estate Investor says “Anyone can do it....Not everyone will......will you?”

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Mike Lee
Investor · Tampa, FL · Member since 2017 · 123 posts · 109 votes
7y

I often take into consideration the source. If any of the friends/family are in a better financial position than what I am striving to get to, I MIGHT take their feedback into consideration.

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  • Taylor Chiu
    Real Estate Agent · Salt Lake City, UT · Member since 2014 · 473 posts · 230 votes
    7y

    @Michael Ryland

    I had a financial “advisor” tell me not to invest in real estate because it doesn’t track inflation.

    I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Real estate ABSOLUTELY tracks inflation, plus some (generally speaking)

    1Reply
  • Steve B.
    Engineer · Portland, OR · Member since 2014 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes
    7y

    @Michael Ryland those criticisms range from inane to advisable. I wouldn’t dismiss all of them flippantly just because you don’t like them.

    2Reply
  • Steve B.
    Engineer · Portland, OR · Member since 2014 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes
    7y

    @Taylor Chiu almost all assets “track” inflation broadly speaking. Real estate less so than most

    0Reply
  • Account Closed
    Investor · Portland, ME · Member since 2014 · 38 posts · 14 votes
    7y

    @Taylor Chiu

    Perhaps your accountant was talking about Real Estate owned for non investment purposes ie primary residence or vacation house where you have costs to hold the property every year.  

    @Steve B.

    I remember in the early 2000's there was an article on the back of Forbes magazine how gold was a terrible place  to put your money and over the last 100 + years it had performed way below inflation.  At the time gold was trading around less than $300 per ounce, and less than 10 years later it was over $1800.  I find it interesting how depending on where we are in a cycle the numbers can rather quickly to support a point one way or another.   

    1Reply
  • Quincy Lockett
    South Holland, IL · Member since 2017 · 376 posts · 432 votes
    7y

    @Michael Ryland

    I just have to copy ‘Everyone thinks you’re a slumlord.’ No matter what. They think ‘good’ landlords only buy high-end properties. I always ask them “Do you know ANYONE that owns high-end investment properties (Their home NOT included)?” The answer is always no. “Then what’s your point of (slumlord) reference?” SMH.

    1Reply
  • John Kwon
    Poughkeepsie, NY · Member since 2019 · 28 posts · 10 votes
    7y

    @Caleb Heimsoth I had same reactions from friends and family. I tried to educate them and perhaps involve them as private money investor to show them the ropes but I got more negativity than excitement. Most says, "stick to your job".

    Some comments are true but it we try to minimize our risk with due diligence.

    1Reply
  • Linda S.
    Investor · Richmond, VA · Member since 2016 · 1k+ posts · 2k+ votes
    7y

    @Michael Ryland,

    My favorite is "Where is all this money coming from?!"  or "You better sell soon!" 

    Your non-real estate friends won't understand, so my best advice is to casually talk about it, but quickly change the conversation back to regular items, seen any movies lately, how are the kids, etc.   They won't understand the tenants, the payments, the stress, the excitement--  and they absolutely won't understand the money, so just lay low-- change the topic back to normal things before real estate.    

    Go to local real estate meetups and find real estate friends  that understand and are excited for you--  investors will be excited and encourage you as they know the ins/out.   Those are the people you want to talk to, not to mention they'll understand and have advice/resources to help in the future!   

    Non-real estate friends, nope... they'll just look at you confused/jealous, and will quickly throw shade at you and  say "I couldn't do it"--- no crap, that's why you aren't!

    5Reply
  • Patrick Smith
    Rental Property Investor · Buffalo NY (buffalo, ny) · Member since 2015 · 17 posts · 9 votes
    7y

    The closest people to me don't believe it works or I can do it.  Sometimes that really pisses me off, but anger has lead me to do great things.  This will be one of them.  

    5Reply
  • Account Closed
    Investor · Milwaukee, WI · Member since 2013 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes
    7y

    Yea...

    The dynamic is why I hang out on BP. I'm going to guess I'm not alone on that score.

    1Reply
  • Brent Crosby
    Rental Property Investor · Farmington, UT · Member since 2018 · 171 posts · 148 votes
    7y

    @Michael Ryland I think what’s even more annoying are the people that told you years ago they are also going to invest in real estate and still haven’t done ANYTHING 5+ years on and are still asking for advice and making up excuses why they couldn’t....

    1Reply
  • Son D.
    Rental Property Investor · boston, MA · Member since 2017 · 202 posts · 222 votes
    7y

    I hide it from most of my family and made my wife hide it from all of hers as well. The only one I told was my closest sibling in case I need private loans in the future and told her as much. She laughed at me and told me I got it backwards. "When you make it big I'll be there to borrow your money!"

    0Reply
  • Devin Newton
    Member since 2018 · 7 posts · 3 votes
    7y

    @Michael Ryland

    My mom told me last night, “ some people are destined to be middle/low class, and can never be rich”.

    3Reply
  • Sylvia B.
    Rental Property Investor · Douglas County, MO · Member since 2014 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes
    7y

    In a small town there's no hiding the fact that we invest in real estate, but that doesn't mean we tell everything. Our (adult) children know all about our holdings, real estate and otherwise, how much we've invested & how much we've made, but most of the other family members don't even know we own rentals.

    We discuss renters, rent prices, house prices, strategies, etc. with others in the business, but no one else is really interested, except maybe those who want to ask about things that are none of their business.

    0Reply
  • Bjorn AhlbladPro Member
    Investor · Shelton, WA · Member since 2017 · 6k+ posts · 6k+ votes
    7y

    My wife and I attend REI meetings once or twice a month, and we talk there. We also know folks who invest, and we talk with them. Other than that we don't see the need to get into it, certainly not with people who are not investors themselves.

    Guys I fish with.............it never comes up.

    1Reply
  • Account Closed
    Rental Property Investor · Torrance, CA · Member since 2016 · 724 posts · 1k+ votes
    7y

    @Michael Ryland I don’t talk about it unless I’m asked. Most of my co-workers don’t have a clue. They know I work a lot of overtime, but they don’t know what I do with the money. Maybe they think I blow it all on cars and vacations lol. 

    On the rare occasion I do tell someone I usually get the "cringe face." Like I just told them I want to be a professional poker player. Most people think of REI in terms of appreciation, not cash flow. They'll say "but what if we have another crash?!" I'll say "good! Can't wait!" They look at me like I'm nuts.

    2Reply
  • Peter TverdovBusiness Member
    Developer · New Brunswick, NJ · Member since 2015 · 1k+ posts · 2k+ votes
    7y

    This is why I don't broadcast my portfolio to the world. People aren't really happy for you. Most people (all of us to some extent) do not want to hear how much better someone is doing than you. 

    Never got the people on social media "Just bought my 16th unit!" "I own a lambo and an Aston Martin!". Celebrate with your spouse, tell your parents maybe and that's about it.

    [email protected]732-289-3823
    3Reply
  • Account Closed
    Rental Property Investor · Sacramento, CA · Member since 2015 · 1k+ posts · 893 votes
    7y

    @Michael Ryland oh hey, you're a local! 

    I've gotten nothing but concerned, negative reactions from family about this. And from a lot of friends. Eventually, after seeing enough success, they all jumped on board though. I'd say be happy that people have generally skeptical responses to your good idea- it limits your competition. 

    I would say the concerns of over leveraging and people in CA having no idea how to run numbers on OOS properties is pretty common. Everything seems relatively cheap to us, and I catch a lot of investors I work with buying bad deals which they perceive to be good because they're better than the ones out here.

    Lately I've been quite adamant about NEVER talking about business to people that are not already onboard with the idea, or interested in it. It keeps people's minds off the subject of my financial success- which I've found beneficial amongst friends and even family. 

    Best quote is from my mom, after I flipped 37 small multis last year: 


    "Are you sure you don't want to go back to school and get your masters?" LOL

    6Reply
  • Tracey G.
    Accountant · Baltimore, MD · Member since 2016 · 74 posts · 29 votes
    7y

    @Michael Ryland. I actually have a good story. My parents had friends who about 30 years ago made a terrible summer rental investment. The end result was bankruptcy. It was dinner table conversation for like a year as it dragged on.

    When I told my Dad that I was staring to invest in real estate, I thought he would say 'that's a terrible idea!' Instead he said that's a good idea. Your mother [who passed in 2003] would be proud. And BTW, I put an offer on the house next door a couple years ago when it went up for sale. I was shocked!

    In general though, I have learned not to talk about it too much. Too many responses of, 'That must be nice but I live paycheck to paycheck.' Like it's a badge of honor.

    0Reply
  • Frank Jiang
    Investor · San Diego, CA · Member since 2014 · 592 posts · 765 votes
    7y

    Real estate is just a vessel.  There is a right way to do it and a wrong way to do it.  I recently gave negative feedback to another couple's real estate ventures when I heard that they had gone to one of those upsell seminars and were buying some sort of tax lien software.

    I agree that most of the negative reactions from the general populace are just lack of financial education, but sometimes negative reactions are well deserved.

    Also, what kind of people are you guys surrounding yourself with?  The only reaction I ever get is "I want to do that."

    1Reply
  • Aimee Knier
    Rental Property Investor · Portland, OR · Member since 2016 · 16 posts · 16 votes
    7y

    The responses from my friends and family have been along the lines of, 'oh, so now you're a slumlord.' I'm actually offended by their responses, and so we've primarily kept it quiet.

    We've made quite a bit of money in the 3 short years we've been investing and I want to share that opportunity with friends, but it gets hard to know who to talk to and how to pitch it because their gut reaction towards real estate investing has been negative.

    0Reply
  • Michael Ealy
    Developer · Cincinnati, OH · Member since 2018 · 1k+ posts · 3k+ votes
    7y

    I don't listen to people who are poorer than me when it comes to money and investing.

    These people told me before "You can't invest in real estate. You didn't have any money." 

    But the more "poor" people tell me that I can't, the more I am encouraged and I do the exact opposite of what they tell me.

    The result? I went from being bankrupt to acquiring over 1,000 apartment units. To those who have not read my story, read them below:

    Part 1 - https://www.biggerpockets.com/forums/55/topics/690349-from-bankruptcy-to-1-000-units-part-1-thru-the-dark-tunnel

    Part 2 - https://www.biggerpockets.com/forums/55/topics/692382-from-bankruptcy-to-1-000-units-part-2-rising-from-the-ruins

    Part 3 - https://www.biggerpockets.com/forums/48/topics/695243-from-bankruptcy-to-1-000-units-part-3-how-to-build-an-empire

    4Reply
  • Matt M.
    Specialist · Easton, PA · Member since 2018 · 1k+ posts · 2k+ votes
    7y

    @Michael Ryland

    My family really doesn’t know I have rentals, it’s none of their business, but most of my friends/colleagues do so we share with each other .

    In 2000, I was 24 and decided to buy my first house for me to live in. My mother said “ you have no business buying a house, you have no idea what it takes to buy/own a house”

    2.5 years later I sold that house and left closing with $40k. So yeah.. I showed her!

    0Reply
  • Ron Gallagher
    Investor · Washington, DC · Member since 2017 · 198 posts · 323 votes
    7y

    Investing in Real Estate must really not be for everyone because I go on and on about how I am buying cash flowing rentals and this year I will quit my W-2 job to anyone that will listen, and not one person has pulled me aside and said "I want to increase my income too" or "I want to retire early too, can you explain to me how you are doing it with real estate?"  I showed a friend who is a renter how his monthly payment would be lower if he purchased a property and he wasn't interested.

    Maybe all my friends and family are losers but no one seems to be interested in learning how to leverage real estate to build wealth or maybe they are just sick of hearing me talk about it.

    7Reply
  • Darius Kellar
    Real Estate Coach · Member since 2018 · 246 posts · 216 votes
    7y

    @Karl B.

    Thats on point haaha. 

    2Reply
  • Annette Schneider
    Investor · Pittsburgh, PA · Member since 2016 · 41 posts · 12 votes
    7y

    If you want to know, who truly supports you and who believes you can better yourself - let them know your going to invest into income properties. 

    My family was worried about it initially. They just wanted to make sure we went in with our eyes open. They listened when we went over the numbers, our plans and asked relevant questions.They don't assume we are slumlords or awful people. They have faith that we will make good decisions and I can call on them for advice. They are happy to hear about our success. 

    Some of his family have been very unsupportive and snarky about his real estate investments. 

    1Reply
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