Beginning Investor: Real Estate for the Shy

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Beginning Investor: Real Estate for the Shy

Tyler Ellis
Port Huron, MI · Member since 2016 · 11 posts · 4 votes

I have problem. 

At this time, I am acting as a sponge and am in the process of educating myself the basics of real estate investing. I have the principles and theory of it down in my head. I understand the strategies, the numbers, exit-strategies, financing, and the need for marketing techniques. But the hardest obstacle that my mind seems like it will never be able to get past is going up to sellers, lenders, buyers, contractors, and really anyone involved in this lifestyle, and trying to speak intelligently about something that I've only read or listened to about. And I am also very introverted and shy to boot! 

I want this lifestyle more than anything and am willing to put the work in. I am treating this as a personal business venture, not a get rich quick scheme and have even contacted an attorney (for entity set up advice) and started a business plan. I have joined BP in hopes of connecting with like-minded individuals and gathering as much info and advice as possible. But I just can't seem to get past this invisible wall of me overthinking things and becoming "stage struck" when its time to start talking to people and making moves. 

Is there anyone who may have some advice for a shy person wanting to make their mark in real estate? How do I overcome the fear of speaking to experts in the field, when I don't have anything to offer them? Or how can I overcome the fear of public speaking and shyness in general? 

I realize this may be an odd, off the topic real estate question,  but its the biggest one on my mind at the moment. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated. 

Sincerely, 

Tyler

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  • Neal Burgess
    Huntington Beach, CA · Member since 2016 · 8 posts · 1 vote
    10y

    I remember when my friend wanted to get his pilots license and him saying after going up with an instructor, "all these instruments, I'll never understand this". It took time and effort and education, but he got his license and is an expert today. 

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  • Michael Key
    Entrepreneur & Real Estate Investor · ID · Member since 2016 · 82 posts · 84 votes
    10y

    @Tyler Ellis - I'm an introvert myself. And that can make networking difficult. You'll discover in this game, or anything really with regards to success, that the biggest obstacle is always mental. The biggest thing you have to overcome is yourself. 

    And if you want to grow, you're going to have to get outside your comfort zone. And just remember, most people are too busy worrying about what you think about them. We're really simple creatures.

    A few things that have helped me over the years have been a few of the classics, "How to Win Friends and Influence People" And finding and connecting with a toast masters group. This is a group to help people develop the skill of public speaking. Talk about getting WAY outside your comfort zone. But luckily, you can fake it till you make it with a lot of easily learned skills. You can find a group on Meetup.com usually. And they cater to helping people develop these skills.


    People love to talk about themselves. You don't need to be really out going to network. Just need to know some basic skills and how to ask proper questions to get people to do the talking for you. Confidence goes a long way in human relationships and so does a first impression.

    I really wish I could put this into better context, but I'm kind of at a loss on how to type it out. But this is certainly something I can relate to, and I'm sure many others too. We've all been there.

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  • Thomas S.
    Member since 2016 · 13k+ posts · 12k+ votes
    10y

    You are facing a very difficult hurdle, not one to be easily overcome and far too important to simply brush off with "you will get over it" or "it will come in time". You can not wait for a change you must force it to happen. You must change your personality. That is the true hurdle you face.

     As someone that always preferred to take the lead and be front and center it is difficult to advise on something I can not understand. I enjoy, live for, that which you fear. I consider it a necessary personality trait to be truly successful at anything and everything in life.   

    Knowledge can build a degree of confidence but it will not be enough when supressed by shyness or a lack of assertiveness. You must dig very deep and force yourself to do it, there is no other option. You either have it or you fake it.

    My best advice is take acting lessons, join a armature theater group and force yourself to be stage center. If you accomplish that your personality simply becomes what ever character you choose.

    The real truth in life is no one knows or cares about you as a person they only care about words and actions.

    The proof is in the fact that many actors are A holes yet they are idolised as individuals through their acting. We want to believe they are the characters they portray.

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  • Mark Scarola
    Developer · San Diego, CA · Member since 2014 · 294 posts · 70 votes
    10y

    "How do I overcome the fear of speaking to experts in the field, when I don't have anything to offer them?"

    Find something to offer. Odds are that you already have something even if you don't realize it yet. It could have to do with your background. Are you good with numbers? Good at putting together spreadsheets? Good with researching and finding properties? Can you build a website? 

    Also as mentioned already, people like talking about themselves. So let them do the talking. You can often stand out simply by listening and not trying to talk over others. Finally, don't feel like you "need" to be able to offer something to everyone you meet. Just ask them what they do and what they need. They might be able to help you even if you can't immediately help them, you may be able to help them in a way you never thought of, or you may even be able to connect them with someone else who can help them in a way you can't.

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  • Brian Compton
    Contractor · Charlotte, NC · Member since 2016 · 138 posts · 63 votes
    10y

    @Tyler Ellis, find a local Toastmasters club and start attending. Great for overcoming fear of public speaking. Best of luck man.

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  • Tyler Ellis
    OP
    Port Huron, MI · Member since 2016 · 11 posts · 4 votes
    10y

    Thank you for the advice all. 

    I have heard about these toastmasters clubs, but never really gave it much thought. I will look into this more. I know that if I can get through this obstacle (which is mostly in my head), I can do anything. So I think maybe I need to fix that before anything else. Great stuff. Thanks again 

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