Handyman 路 Pittsburgh, PA 路 Member since 2018 路 5k+ posts 路 13k+ votes
Bought a teardown at a tax auction, went in and knocked a hole in one of the kitchen walls, found three stud bays filled with plastic-wrapped used bills, mostly twenties but lots of fifties, hundreds. $873K total. There was a Glock lying on top of one of the stacks, bit rusted, been there a while.
How should I invest this money? Please help. I'm so confused.
Your situation is more common than you may think. Lots of investors got started after finding money stuffed in walls.
First bit of advice is don't touch the gun. If you did, wipe off any finger prints and dispose of the gun in the closest river.
Second thing to realize is someone will be looking for that money. It may be 10-15 years before the come looking, but guaranteed they will be back. Finish the rehab quickly and sell the house.
Now the money is all yours! Here is how you make it grow:
1. Advertise publicly you have the money. This is the best way to attract investing advice. You will meet lots of nice people who are looking out for your best interests.
2. Hopefully you find some fist time syndicators or flippers that will agree to pay you huge returns. Is it risky? Yes, but do you want to get rich or what?
3. Avoid the stock market. Everyone knows real estate is the only guaranteed investment.
That is about it. Give your money to the first person offering great returns and watch it grow.
Hi @Justin B., 10,000 of them turn 65 every day (and likely also includes retirement) and 4,500 turn 85 every day. 65 is the new 40 years old with many living longer than ever before in history. Our average resident age is 85 years old. Hope you are doing well in Maryland and staying safe.
@Joe Splitrock To clarify, 10,000 Americans are turning 65 every day and 4,500 are turning 85 every day. Growing demographic to pay close attention to as they are their parents are getting to the age of needing assisted living care. Post Covid these baby boomers will be very careful where they move their loved ones for assisted living and memory care. Those involved in large REIT's of 100-200 bed assisted living should pay attention to this trend moving forward going small.
So, this is the perfect situation to get into loan sharking. Take that money and start lending it out to people at extremely high interest rates. The shadier the borrower, the high the interest rate and return. Forget real estate. With that much cash and loan sharking you'd be a multi-millionaire in an instant. Don't forget to set aside about 10% to hire some "leg breakers" as you are definitely going to have some people try and cheat you and we just can't have that. This also means the IRS never has to know (no taxes, not even on your gains), since loan sharking isn't regulated by them so you're in the clear!
and just to be clear, this is not a serious reply, just trying to create some laughter. Never know with the Internet these days...
Just to be clear, Justin, in the real world, I've had an IRS agent and a Homeland Security agent show up at my front door with a federal subpoena. They served my wife at work. Once they got us down at the federal courthouse we all had a little confab with a US Assistant District Attorney. It turned out to be for an investigation we weren't a part of, but it only takes one subpoena to really understand that you do not play any idiot games with the federal government's llaw enforcement agencies because these people have no sense of humor about criminals. And strange to say, as I walked out of that courthouse weak-kneed in relief, I was proud of that. There are some really fine people in government service looking out for you and me against the bad guys.
Just to be clear, Justin, in the real world, I've had an IRS agent and a Homeland Security agent show up at my front door with a federal subpoena. They served my wife at work. Once they got us down at the federal courthouse we all had a little confab with a US Assistant District Attorney. It turned out to be for an investigation we weren't a part of, but it only takes one subpoena to really understand that you do not play any idiot games with the federal government because these people have no sense of humor about criminals.
That sucks. I agree, I don't play games with anyone, much less the federal govt.
I would take a year of putting it into a low index ETF fund while making a plan to invest it. You can be a hard money lender, you can invest in flips to make more or make that money generate cashflow for you with putting a down payment on like a 50 unit building and pay someone to manage it form there. You have options but most importantly dont over think it. Find a good deal, invest and put that money to work!
@Jim K. A wise investor once told me, that your best bet is most definitely to spend 100% of your findings on scratchers. He鈥檚 homeless now but that鈥檚 besides the point. Shoot for the stars Jim! Or at least shoot for your local liquor store!
I don't know how "common" it is to find $873k but that is an amazing windfall. Congratulations. I would possibly consult with a tax attorney or seasoned financial pro. I could forsee you running into problems with IRS or other federal agencies. People who have a large amount of cash draw suspicion that the money could be from illegal proceeds or laundered in some way. Real estate professionals and loan officers are trained to specifically avoid and report situations like this. As far as the gun is concerned. I would immediately call your local police and just tell them the truth. If you want to mention the money it's up to you. What if that gun was used in a crime, maybe even used in a homicide? I would want the good karma of knowing I did the right thing by turning it in. Police/FBI can trace the barrel markings with any slugs found at a crime scene to trace it back. So long as you found it and are turning it in you would have nothing to worry about. I was a police officer for 7 years and it was common for people to turn in old guns just to get them off the streets.
If you ever have any needs with residential financing I would love to help you out.
I would take a year of putting it into a low index ETF fund while making a plan to invest it. You can be a hard money lender, you can invest in flips to make more or make that money generate cashflow for you with putting a down payment on like a 50 unit building and pay someone to manage it form there. You have options but most importantly dont over think it. Find a good deal, invest and put that money to work!
Chris , did you seriously just tell me "dont over think" where I'm gonna stick almost a million dollars? Easy come, easy go, right?
I don't know how "common" it is to find $873k but that is an amazing windfall. Congratulations. I would possibly consult with a tax attorney or seasoned financial pro. I could forsee you running into problems with IRS or other federal agencies. People who have a large amount of cash draw suspicion that the money could be from illegal proceeds or laundered in some way. Real estate professionals and loan officers are trained to specifically avoid and report situations like this. As far as the gun is concerned. I would immediately call your local police and just tell them the truth. If you want to mention the money it's up to you. What if that gun was used in a crime, maybe even used in a homicide? I would want the good karma of knowing I did the right thing by turning it in. Police/FBI can trace the barrel markings with any slugs found at a crime scene to trace it back. So long as you found it and are turning it in you would have nothing to worry about. I was a police officer for 7 years and it was common for people to turn in old guns just to get them off the streets.
If you ever have any needs with residential financing I would love to help you out.
@Jim K. A wise investor once told me, that your best bet is most definitely to spend 100% of your findings on scratchers. He鈥檚 homeless now but that鈥檚 besides the point. Shoot for the stars Jim! Or at least shoot for your local liquor store!
#yoloscratchers and pass the flavored vodka on special!
@Jim K. - I started out by saying take a year to put a plan together meanwhile put it in a low index ETF fund or a CD account to earn interest. Looks like you missed that. Also, yes i said don't over think it. What is overthinking and waiting super long going to do for you besides devalue the money by no less than 3% per year due to standard inflation and this year of all years that will be much higher with the stimulus checks that came out and interest rates going down? Nothing good happens from overthinking it. Think of the moves you want to make a move within 12 months, whats wrong with that? Holding onto it for dear life and not making a move is a choice in itself and is the worse choice. All that will do is give you paralysis analysis. Also, why do you feel like you need to put it all into one place? Allocate some here, allocate some there. At the end of the day man... you asked.
@Jim K. - I started out by saying take a year to put a plan together meanwhile put it in a low index ETF fund or a CD account to earn interest. Looks like you missed that. Also, yes i said don't over think it. What is overthinking and waiting super long going to do for you besides devalue the money by no less than 3% per year due to standard inflation and this year of all years that will be much higher with the stimulus checks that came out and interest rates going down? Nothing good happens from overthinking it. Think of the moves you want to make a move within 12 months, whats wrong with that? Holding onto it for dear life and not making a move is a choice in itself and is the worse choice. All that will do is give you paralysis analysis. Also, why do you feel like you need to put it all into one place? Allocate some here, allocate some there. At the end of the day man... you asked.
Oh, OK, that makes much more sense. Thanks for setting me straight, Chris.
Jim, God has blessed you so you need to pass that blessing on to others. All of the wealthy Nigerian princes that e-mail me tell me that they continue to be blessed by god because they share their wealth.
I have several orphanages and other charities that I manage. I can invest your money in caring for orphans and widows too! I have several Nigerian princes who can attest to my charitable efforts. My charitable efforts are well known across the planet.
Once you allow me to invest this money god gave you in my many charitable efforts, god will see your good efforts and will continue to bless you with more wealth.
Also, for your information, my orphanages and other charitable organizations are non-profit and your gifts are totally tax deductible.
Also, I do NOT take ten percent of donations for my efforts. I am not greedy. 5% is fine.
Bless you Sister Lynnette and all the good you do. Please put me down for a seed donation of $1, in the name of the All-Holy Virgin Mary and all the Saints. Just as soon as it is returned to me a hundredfold, as the Good Book promises, you can expect Dollar Number Two.
Peace be unto you and with your spirit. Good luck with the Nigerian princes.